Action is the antithesis of anxiety.


18



You tackled a big project and you're wondering if it will be a success. Ask yourself: "Was I fair?" Was I kind?" " Did I put in the work?" If the answer is yes, then rest well, no matter what the outcome. If the answer is no, go back and fix it.


17



Practice these skills: Love yourself Respect yourself Value yourself Enjoy yourself


4, 6, 8, 12, 15, 17, 21



Read poem “Wild Geese” by Mary Oliver. (“...You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves...”)


17



Sponsor a child in a developing country. Write letters, learn about their country and their life.


8



There's an old saying that goes something like "Don't focus on how big your problems are, focus instead on how big your God is." On a certain level, it's trite and too simple. It's almost insulting. But without discounting the real pain behind your problems, I encourage you to practice exactly what it says. There's no need (or way) to forget about your problems, but you CAN change your focus, and decide to cling to the goodness of the Lord. Meditate on God's power, His (Her/Their) goodness, patience, his grace, his beauty, and most of all, his love. Hard to do? Yes, maybe at first. But how much time do you spend thinking about what is causing you pain? (I have a talent for perseverating on it. I go over and over and over how I was wronged or why I failed, or how I could have said it differently.) no matter how much time I spend, I don't feel any better! If you learn to take half the time you would spend thinking about your [very real] pain, and focus on God's goodness, you'll be amazed at how much better you feel. It's not even about praying for help, or blessings, etc. Just think about how infinitely GOOD He is: Artist, scientist, parent, environmentalist, creator, healer, friend, forgiving judge, patient teacher. Loving father. Christ, the human face of God, is saying "Look right here. Hold on tight to me. I know. I love you. I've got you." Practice shifting your focus and you'll get better and better at it. The pain WILL fade. Your heart will fill with light. Age 15 Faith


15



Read Big Magic by Liz Gilbert. Re-read every 5-10 years.


19, 21



Write “thank you” notes, send pics of them wearing the outfit Grandma gave, etc. You get so many gifts...Be a grateful recipient.


7



Play up your strengths. What are your strengths? What are you really good at or love doing?


13, 17, 21



Anger is the bodyguard of sadness.


12-15, 21



Don’t Just “go along for the ride” in your relationships. Be clear about your intentions and act accordingly. It’s part of being a man. A GOOD man. Sometimes you just need to have a talk and make sure you’re both on the same page. It won’t $@!#% you!


16, 21



“Natural” deodorant doesn’t work. Go with trusted brands here. There are times when it’s fine not to look your best, but stinky is never okay.


13, 18



They can shower themselves if you install a hand-held shower head and install a suction cup wall-mount shower head holder lower on the shower wall. It’s easy to do and very cheap. They love it!


4-6



Teach them what to do if they hit an animal while driving on the road. (First find out what you’re supposed to do, THEN teach them.)


16



Read Thanks for the Feedback by Heen and Stone. Crucial for ADHD and rejection sensitivity. Wish I had it when I was about to launch into my career!


15, 19, 21



Book: “victory. Stand!” By Tommie Smith


14



Start the tradition of First Sunday dinners. On the first Sunday of the month, have a "mini-holiday" dinner. Invite family, friends. Use the nice dishes, make a big meal. Celebrate family.


4-18



When they confide in you or tell you something that makes them so vulnerable u don’t know what to tell them, just sat “I’m so glad you told me.” (You’re not alone, I heard you, I’m here and will stay with you until it’s resolved.) re-ticket yearly.


9



Anyone who asks you to violate your values doesn’t deserve your allegiance.


16, 21



“The Greatest Generation” by Tom Brokaw Listen to audio or read together


14



Always keep a clean rag within arm’s reach in the car. You never know when you might need to clean-up a spill or smash a spider while driving 50mph.


16



The better you eat, the better you feel. (And look.) if you eat like sh*t you’re going to feel like sh*t. Eat your vegetables! xoxo


17, 21



“It’s not your job to make people love you. It’s your job to show people who you are and allow them the opportunity to love you, if they want to. If they don’t, please just let them walk away. They were probably going to walk away anyway, they were just sticking around to see if you’d beg a little bit. Don’t even give them that. Let them go. You’re not a shape shifter. You’re not going to turn into the version of yourself that you think would be more lovable by the person you are trying to be loved by. That’s not love, that’s exhausting.” -Elyse Myers, one of my favorite Tiktokers. You deserve to be loved for who you genuinely are. I wish I’d read this when I was young. Would’ve saved me years of pain and frustration.


16-21



Staying calm is 90% of the battle. Practice.


13, 15, 18, 21



We all have dark thoughts and moods every once in a while. That’s part of being human. But any sustained ideation or inclination to hurt yourself or someone else is a red flag and needs mental health intervention.


12, 14, 17, 21



Trying to avoid the real work makes the task 100 times harder. Do the work.


9, 15, 21



Be kind. Be brave.


5-10



Check in on your friends. Even the ones that seem fine.


14-21



Quoting Sarah Bessel: “One of the best things Jen Hatmaker has taught me about raising big kids: if they get on the roller coaster of Big Emotions, my main first job is to stay on the platform. I am NOT to get in the car and ride up


12