It’s okay to feel jealous. Totally normal, totally human. Just never act on jealousy.
12, 14, 16, 19, 21
Make sure they have resources other than us. Hotlines for teens such as Boys Town National Hotline, National $@!#% Prevention Lifeline, etc.
12
"The only way to work through sh*tty feelings is to walk through sh*tty feelings." - Psychologist Kristen Howe Hard lesson, but big truth.
15
Just show up. That’s all we can really control. Show up, (don’t run) and take it from there. You got this.
21
One of the most difficult things in life will be to embrace difficult and unfamiliar ways in order to grow or heal. But doing so is the only way we can grow or heal. You can do hard things. Breathe deep and take it by moment if you have to.
18, 21
Stay away from anything or anyone that denies or disparages a person’s humanity. (Or a group’s humanity.)
12-21
Time management skills. Look for current resources. Teach about making lists when you're feeling overwhelmed. Start with listing 5 to-do's. Tackle the top 3 of those. Then reassess. New priorities? If no, keep going down the list. If yes, add them to the list in whatever order of importance.
12
Glennon Doyle described a conversation about explaining to a child what "sexy" means: “I think most people are confused about what 'sexy' means. Sexy is a grown-up word to describe a person who’s confident that she is already exactly who she was made to be. A sexy woman knows herself and she likes the way she looks, thinks, and feels. She doesn’t try to change to match anybody else. “And she knows how to use her words to tell people she trusts about what’s going on inside of her. When she’s angry, she expresses her anger in healthy ways. When she’s joyful, she does the same thing. “She doesn’t hide her true self because she’s not ashamed. She knows she’s just human—exactly how God made her and that’s good enough. She’s brave enough to be honest and kind enough to accept others when they’re honest. When two people are sexy enough to be brave and kind with each other, that’s love." (The quote is longer, Google to find the whole thing. Wise words on a tough subject.)
8
Every “yes” to something is a “no” to something else. Take your time processing the choices - write in your journal, sweat it out, listen to music, talk to someone you trust, read books from experts. Once you’re clear about what you’re giving up, let it go and don’t look back. (Remember there’s no advice that’s right more than 99% of the time. Always trust your gut. Just remember an impulse isn’t the same thing as a gut check.)
15, 16, 19, 21
Give baby a banana before bed and they’ll sleep through the night. (Obviously once they’re on solid food.)
1
Learn how to quiet your demons / that voice that tells you you’re not good enough. Great resource is Dan Harris’ 2022 TED talk.
14, 19, 21
Kindness Confidence = Popular (Be kind to everyone, paying no attention to social status, age, looks, money or disability.) Be confident: Know that you are enough. You’ll never be perfect but no one else is either. When you mess up it’s not the end of the world- laugh at yourself when possible. Learn from failures. Don’t fake interest in people or things that don’t fill you up. Be who you are! People gravitate towards kindness and confidence
12
It’s best not to cuss but writing bad words is even worse than speaking them. Even in casual texting, etc. Always an asterisk in place of a vowel to avoid being rude.
16
Great article on how to explain that bodies AND brains are undergoing rapid changes during adolescence. Re-read and then chat! https://www.upworthy.com/amp/this-mother-s-description-of-her-tween-son-s-brain-is-a-must-read-for-all-parents?c=ufb1
10
When he comes to you and tells you he’s in trouble, stay calm. Ask “How can I help you?” Figure it out together. No matter how old he is, he needs to know you’re on his side. There will be time for lessons and consequences, etc. But first, help.
7, 12, 15, 21
Read the Hobbit aloud with him. Afterward, encourage him to read The Lord of the Rings by himself.
9
No absolute restrictions on food but stress that some foods are “party food.” Chips, for example. (I love potato chips!)
4
Show up. Be there when people are counting on you. Be at the celebrations and the funerals. Be at work and school when you're supposed to be.
12-19
Eat at a local restaurant tonight. Get the cream sauce. Have a cold pint at 4 o’clock in a mostly empty bar. Go somewhere you’ve never been. Listen to someone you think may have nothing in common with you. Order the steak rare. Eat an oyster. Have a Negroni. Have two. Be open to a world where you may not understand or agree with the person next to you, but have a drink with them anyways. Eat slowly. Tip your server. Check in on your friends. Check in on yourself. Enjoy the ride." - Anthony Bourdain
18, 21
Your life is way bigger than one relationship. Or one grade, or one job, or one choice, or one event, or one gift. Make room for all of it even when some of it will most certainly hurt.
17
Life is for the living. It’s okay to move on. It’s okay to laugh and dream, work, to party, to rest rest, etc. you honor the dead by living your life. Everyone meets up in the end anyway!
19, 21
Find an activity / sport that they enjoy and support it. Get them outside and in the fresh air.
6-16
If you’re unable to help someone, help someone else. Throw some goodness or beauty in the bucket of humanity.
16
Read the instructions. Don't ask for help if you've been given instructions but haven't yet read them. RTFM. (Read the flippin' manual.)
14-21