I want to talk about when NOT to join in. Friends are great and feeling like we belong feels so good. But there are times I hope you muster the courage not to go along: Never cause anyone or anything pain in order to be liked. Don't confuse cruelty for humor. Never participate in things that may cause harm to yourself or others. Can you think of some things you want to make sure you don't go along with?


11



Approach difficult conversations looking to learn something, not to prove something.


16, 21



There’s a lot of virtue to the “Let them” theory of parenting. It’s their life. Drop out of school? Not what I would want, but as long as I’ve had my say, the decision is theirs to make. The mess will be theirs too, but that’s just life. Stop trying to control everyone and everything. Give yourself and everyone else a break and as long as it’s nothing harmful, let them. Don’t try to bend them to your will, and keep your opinions to yourself.


12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18



Check out O.School Originals for sex-ed resources.


14



Practice sitting still and quiet. Make it a game. Helps with focus and impulsivity.


4-7



Home is where people love you.


21



Brennan Manning lectures and books.


19



Read up about the National Parks. Pick one to plan a trip to.


9



Start a vegetable garden.


7



Sad but important fact: You’ll never be enough for some people. Never. -Chasten Buttigieg


18



“It’s alright to be yourself. There ARE people in this world who will love you.” -Fred Rogers


12, 14, 17, 21



"Love is nothing more and nothing less than relentlessly showing up for your people." - Glennon Doyle


18-21



A simple trick to calm your nerves: Name 5 things you can hear right now.


5-15



1

You are 100% replaceable at work. You are not replaceable at home. A good work ethic is crucial but don’t drain yourself to the point that you don’t have anything left for your family and friends.


21



At dinner time, go around the table and share your “highs and lows” for the day. (Re-ticket up to 21)


5



They are looking for your support, not your solutions. Applies to all ages.


2, 3, 4, 8, 11, 13, 16, 18, 20, 21



People may have all kinds of different motives for doing what they do, saying what they say. To “give someone the benefit of the doubt” means that you consider what the best possible reason they may have for doing what they did and assume that was the motive. If someone has earned your trust, even if it’s that they’ve done nothing to break your trust, give them the benefit of the doubt.


11-15



Sometimes it feels really good to say “no.” (Or “no thank you.” Or “$@!#% no!”)


14, 20



Slow down and normalize making out without it leading to anything more. Physical intimacy can mean lots of things that aren’t sex: kissing should feel safe, personal and playful. ALWAYS be respectful and never assume that just because your sweetie is into it that they want to go farther. If your goal is to “score” do it by yourself.


15, 21



Purchase the card game CBT 123 on Amazon. (Cognitive Behavior Therapy teaches kids the connection between Thoughts/ feelings/ behavior)


7



Build a backyard adventure camp


8



“The only way out is to love yourself. That’s it. That’s all.” - Valerie Bertinelli


10, 13, 17, 21



Imagine hearing the apology you need to hear. Often times that really helps, even if the person never actually says it. It makes it easier to forgive and move on.


18



Remember what a teenaged sh*t you were before throwing in the towel on the next generation. We’re all self-centered, entitled and oblivious when we’re young. The goal is that they don’t *stay* that way. Be the parent they need, and they’ll listen. It may take a year or twenty, but they’ll see the light if you just pour love into them.


12-21



What I most want to teach you this year is that you can always trust me. I will always love you, take care of you and never harm you. You may not always like me, but you can always trust me.


1



Model good nutrition and fitness routine.


4



Once or twice a year my parents would clean all the walls and baseboards in the house. Every time I smell Murphy’s Oil Soap I think of that. They mostly separated work around traditional gender roles but only insofar as that’s what they liked. Mom had no desire to work in the yard, Dad didn’t like to cook (until he got a bread machine for his retirement!) They often worked together on big tasks no matter inside or outside. Teamwork! And clean walls.


21



Think about building a career. Take low-paying or no-paying jobs that will give you the experience you need to build it. It's not all about the paycheck, especially when you're young and don't have too many bills to pay.


19-21



Sometimes (oftentimes) the truth is easier to find than to face.


14, 20