It’s not fair to resent someone for being who they are. We can all improve ourselves, learn and grow etc. but we should never ask anyone to change who they are in exchange for our love. And that goes both ways - never change who you are to fit someone else’s idea of who you should be. Be open to ways to can improve yourself of course, but surround yourself with people who love you for you and encourage you to be your genuine self and who want the best for you.
Always have a 5 year plan. Be thinking of goals you want to work towards, however big or small. What inspires you? What drives you? What do you want to accomplish or cure or solve?
Talk about how choices become habits. Habits can become addictions. Describe how pathways are literally dug into the brain and it's very hard to change them once those paths are made.
Zero-cost method to reaching your goals (academic, career, fitness and health): Get up an hour earlier.
You’ll be amazed how much you can get done and how “on top of it” you feel.
Find one or two scary documentaries on the dangers of gambling. Watch together. Betting on sports is a big thing in some schools and I want to scare the $@!#% out of him about how bad gambling can screw up his life. Check online tools from gamblers anonymous.
Read books. Any kind. All kinds. It’s exercise for the brain and it feeds the soul. Start slow, that’s ok. As with many things, consistency beats speed.
Teach them to clean the bathroom. Wipe down surfaces, clean mirrors, etc. It’s their job to keep it tidy. Everybody pitches in to keep up with housework.
Relationships can end beautifully and bravely. They’re not all going to be forever. It’s much better to grieve the end of a relationship than to endure an unhealthy one.
It’s so tempting to write someone off, to dismiss them as “less than.” They’re too young or too old to be taken seriously. They speak a different language or have a different skin color. They may be poor, uneducated, disabled or just simply unattractive. RESIST that temptation. Remember that every human being is God’s creation, a masterpiece cloaked in dignity. No matter what they look like or even what they’ve done, everyone you meet is deserving (and in need) of respect. To be humble is to remember this. (Start lesson young, phrased age-appropriately, and reticket yearly. Look for opportunities to discuss.)
When it comes to judging your behavior at school/ sports/ work, ask:
Was I fair?
Was I kind?
Did I put in the work?
If the answers are all “Yes,” then rest well.
If an answer is “No,” then fix it.
“It’s not as important how a message is received compared to how it is sent.” Sometimes you have to have uncomfortable conversations but the can always be kind and loving. Sometimes your message won’t land well, but if you expressed yourself truthfully and kindly, that’s not your burden to bear.
Never make someone feel bad for liking something. Not your kids, your friends or colleagues. Joy is a beautiful thing. Cherish it in yourself and in others.
Sometimes I think the best way to take care of them is to teach them to take care of others: Littler kids, sick or disabled, those who’ve been left out.
So many young adults (and older one too) suffer from a lack of direction, living life without a sense of purpose.
______Here’s my advice: **Do what you love**. ____If you don’t know what that is yet (totally okay) then *go where you’re needed.**___ Make yourself USEFUL doing some sort of work that makes the world (or your family or your community or your country) a better place. Please don’t sit around playing video games or goofing off. That will make you miserable! ___ AND it’s a waste of God’s work (you.) Get busy. _____Stay involved in anything you care about deeply, or that needs you desperately. It will feed your soul and open all kinds of doors.