Spend time with people you admire, in person and biographies, documentaries, novels and movies.
14-17, 21
People have big feelings when they realize how unjust and unfair the world can be. Totally natural and healthy. The problem starts when they channel those feelings into destructive actions and beliefs: violence, war, crime and hatred. We will be so much better off if we can learn to deal with our collective and individual pain in a way that is therapeutic and constructive. Maybe we can help each other to be creative in the face of fear, grief, pain, anxiety, anger, betrayal, injustice.
14, 16, 19, 21
When you apologize don’t offer excuses just acknowledge your mistake, apologize for the consequences, and assure them it won’t happen again.
12, 16, 21
Be extra careful when you’re parking or pulling out of a driveway. It’s hard to see little kids or pets.
16
Your great-great grandmother was a seamstress at Marshall Fields. Her husband was a firefighter in Chicago. The immigrated from County Wexford in Ireland.
10
“A recipe for being mistaken: 1. Dislike someone who's often right. 2. Never agree with someone you dislike.” ——- Paul Graham
16
Difficult conversations: Break-ups, layoffs, etc. happen. Practice delivering bad news and getting bad news.
15-21
Teach them to clean the bathroom. Wipe down surfaces, clean mirrors, etc. It’s their job to keep it tidy. Everybody pitches in to keep up with housework.
4-18
Trust me when I tell you that one day you’ll look back and realize you judged people unfairly and you held strong to convictions only to end up changing your mind about in the light of life experience. Leave a little space open for second impressions or the possibility that you could be wrong.
17
Learn how to quiet your demons / that voice that tells you you’re not good enough. Great resource is Dan Harris’ 2022 TED talk.
14, 19, 21
If you’re waiting on someone to change for the relationship to work, it’s not gonna work. Love ‘em or leave ‘em. But forget trying to change them. (Same works in reverse. If someone wants you to change something about yourself before they commit, don’t walk away…RUN!)
14, 18, 21
Bedtime often goes to sh*t in a hurry because kids are tired and parents are out of patience. Be kind. If your kids are anything like you, they’ll need extra tenderness at bedtime: cuddles, soft words, prayers. Forgiveness for the ridiculous tantrums over silly stuff. Take pity on them, their little bodies are tired and they haven’t learned how to function on empty.
1-4
We all have dark thoughts and moods every once in a while. That’s part of being human. But any sustained ideation or inclination to hurt yourself or someone else is a red flag and needs mental health intervention.
12, 14, 17, 21
Try house music for focus. Spotify “uplifting trance” playlists. Better than Adderall by a mile.
12, 13, 16
Relationships can end beautifully and bravely. They’re not all going to be forever. It’s much better to grieve the end of a relationship than to endure an unhealthy one.
15, 19, 21
The more books you read, the better. Carve out time without screens and read every day.
8, 10, 12, 14, 16, 21
When COVID started my first thought was “Holy sh*t Trump is going to cancel the 2020 election because of pandemic.” Thank God I was wrong.
15
Uplift your friends and surround yourself with friends who uplift you. In person and online. Encourage each other to let your lights shine brightly. Never bully or steal someone’s joy.
11, 15, 18, 20
I did my best to guide you, but I’m sure there are many areas where my take is just not aligned with yours. That’s okay! Bunny please don’t feel any obligation to believe what I believe or take any advice, or continue any tradition mentioned in this Coda.
21
Life is like the ocean: Filled with energy, beauty, scary schit, lots of interesting creatures and so much to be in awe of. We couldn’t possibly control it but we can be a part of it.
16
Some people have more money than sense. Just because u can afford something doesn’t mean you should buy it.
15