Help him practice having tense conversations without getting a tone of voice.


15



Sadness means you need love. (From another person, a pet, yourself.) Someone whose presence brings you comfort. May be dead, living, fictional, historical figure, religious (god, saints, Buddha, etc.) Live and in person is best though. Let someone love you how you need to be loved.


19, 21



Introduction to 70’s Southern Rock. Skynyrd, Allman Bros, etc.


14



Songs hit so much different (better) when you read the lyrics while listening. Headphones help heighten the experience too.


12, 14, 19, 21



Live a life of dignity and joy.


14, 21



Just for the record, I didn’t vote for Trump. I want my great-grandchildren to know that.


18



1

Little trick for acne treatment: dandruff shampoo. Wash your face with Head and Shoulders and watch your skin clear up.


13-17



There’s a great scene in Game of Thrones where Tyrion is trying to prepare for an impending siege of the city but he doesn’t know how to begin planning a defense. Until he starts thinking about how his enemy is most likely to attack. Defense is reactive, offensive is proactive.


19



Read “Lighter” by Yung Pueblo. Read it every year.


17, 19, 21



Give him a copy of The Secret Lives of Great Composers by Elizabeth Lunday.


14



Remember the hymn we used to sing at bedtime when you were little? “What Does the Lord Require of You?” To seek justice. To love kindness. To walk humbly with your God. (Walk humbly means to remember God is so very good. That he loves you and is for you and wants you to talk to him, listen for him, love him, serve him.) No matter what religion you practice (or don’t practice) I hope you’ll remember that.


17



Date all kinds but marry someone who loves you for who you are, with whom you feel most yourself. Someone who will encourage you to grow more into the person you want to be. (And be good at encouraging them to do same.) Never fear or stifle each other’s growth. Celebrate it. Support it. Encourage it.


21



“You matter to me.” Is a beautiful way to express your feelings when a relationship is new.


15, 17, 21



With toddlers (or teens), first acknowledge the emotion. Then deal with the behavior. Validate their feelings. Once everyone is calm, address the behavior and discuss consequences if appropriate.


2, 13, 17



Look into "OK Go" videos.


7-14



You can (and should) pray for help. But remember, you have to do your part too. Depending on the situation it could be a little or a lot, but don’t just sit back and expect to be rescued. Moses had to dip his toe in the Red Sea before God parted it. Ask for help, but do your part.


14, 21



You can’t be a good parent if you’re a miserable person. Take care of yourself. Make the changes necessary to get in a good place. Ask for help. The happier you are, the happier they will be.


1, 10, 15



Depression can look a lot like a bad attitude. Try reacting to his chronic edginess with “Sounds like you’re in pain. You can come to me about anything, any time.”


15



Universal Studios


12-18



Pick an issue. One single issue, i.e. the economy or the environment or coverage of a certain event such as a crime or a sport season. Read at least one newspaper article on that topic every day. NYT, London Times etc.


14, 15, 16, 21



I hope you become more of yourself with every passing year. I love you so.


21



Discuss the definition And ramifications of sexual misconduct (harassment, consent, etc.)


12



Bring Christmas cookies to local fire station and police station. (Annually)


6



1

One of the most important things I can teach you is to help you learn how to deal with big feelings without resorting to destructive behavior or violence. Everyone on the planet will experience loss, disappointment, grief, heartbreak, betrayal, etc. Tools to deal with these feelings: counseling, journaling, art, music, exercise, meditation, breathing exercises, yoga, being in nature, talking with friends, joining a support group, movement like dancing or skating, singing, acting, anthropomorphic dialogue with your emotions, naming your emotions and describe how they physically feel in your body. Asking the emotion what it needs you to know.


1Infant-20



Super good-looking people often don’t develop good people skills because they’ve been able to get by on their looks. Listen! Beauty fades. Get curious about people who don’t necessarily catch your eye right away.


16, 19, 21



Read "A Wrinkle in Time" (me too.)


10



Read up on the adolescent brain.


11, 13



A Morning Offering by _____ (Excerpt) ...May my mind come alive today To the invisible geography That invites me to new frontiers, To break the dead shell of yesterdays, To risk being disturbed and changed. May I have the courage today To live the life that I would love, To postpone my dream no longer But do at last what I came here for And waste my heart on fear no more.“


19



Sometimes it happens that what you do [for a living] is who you are. I’m reading a great book about that called The Women by Kristin Hannah.


16, 20, 21



Don’t ask for anything until you’ve done what has been asked of you.


5