No one knows what they’re doing. Just be kind and brave and curious. You don’t have to have it figured out.


17



Let’s talk about hungry kids. What can we do to help? Donate? Volunteer? Start a Little Free Pantry?


7-12



Let’s find an activity where you can work with your hands


11



“Anger is a wonderful catalyst but a terrible companion.” - Brene Brown


15, 21



I’ve stopped worrying about you being able to make your way through life. You’re not even 8 years old and I can see you’re going to be just fine. You’re smart, kind, curious, hilarious and so very lovable. I worry about your safety, I stress about your health, but I don’t worry about your character. I’m so proud of you, and I love watching you grow.


14



Unkind people are unhappy people.


8, 18



Home is where people love you.


21



On days when you wake up tired, sick or just not ready to deal with the morning, just get up and take a shower. Turn up the music. Rally!


17-21



“I don’t know what I think until I write about it.” - Joan Didion


15



Attend a Pride parade.


9



Always have a 5 year plan. Be thinking of goals you want to work towards, however big or small. What inspires you? What drives you? What do you want to accomplish or cure or solve?


15, 17, 21



Robin Williams was one of the best examples of how to be a good human.


15, 19, 21



You are absolutely priceless. What someone thinks of you, whatever may happen to you, no matter who loves you (or rejects you), nothing can diminish your worth or your worthiness. You. Are. Priceless.


10, 14, 17



You don’t have to like everyone you go to school with, or work with. You don’t even have to like your family! BUT, you have to treat everyone with respect and kindness. They are worthy of that no matter what your opinion of them may be.


15, 21



The biggest mistake I *never* made was in 1997. I was working two jobs: nurse and waitress. I was having an extremely difficult time in the nursing job. I struggled to understand it and made mistakes despite working long hard hours. My waitressing job was hard too, but it was fun! A great group of fun young people, we hung out and bonded. I was crushing hard on the bartender too! I decided to quit my nursing job and wait tables full time. (I had TWO college degrees at the time.) Not sure exactly what made me change my mind, but I didn’t do it. Instead I quit the restaurant (probably because I was heartbroken over the bartender!) and enrolled in graduate school. Kept my nursing job. There I met lifelong friends, and went on to be nursing director. That waitressing job was my escape hatch. The best I could imagine for myself was waiting tables full time! What a small SMALL world view. While I am VERY glad I didn’t quit the nursing job I hated, because that’s how I got you, I wish I had imagined a bigger, better option than waiting tables full time if I felt that I needed to quit nursing. Peace Corps, move to the city, SOMETHING brave and bold and exciting. All this is to say - widen your vision. There’s so much more to life than what is directly in front of you. Be bold. Be brave. I love you.


17, 20



Venting is crucial but not always appropriate. Make sure you’re in the right place (no chance whatsoever of being overheard), the right time (take care of business first) and that the person you’re unloading on has the mental bandwidth to listen to you vent your emotions. Avoid interrupting if they’re busy, or not in a good headspace. You’ll know this because you asked.


14, 17, 21



Teach how to carve a turkey.


15



Offer gifts to the Lord. Maybe it's your school work, or your career, or the kid you raise, or your life in general. Wrap it up and make it a present to the Lord.


9-15



Hold yourself to account when you screw up but give yourself some grace. Instead of “I’m such a terrible person” ask yourself “”How can I make up for this? What can I learn from this? How can I do better next time?”


10, 12, 15, 19



When you feel like judging someone, try to resist the urge and get curious instead. There’s always a story.


16



My love for you will never run out - neither will God’s love / patience run out. I will always instruct, discipline and give consequences for bad behavior- because it’s my job to teach you. But there’s nothing you could do to lose my love. Remind them daily.


5-20



I forget who said it but I love it: “I don’t know what I think until I write it down.” Paper and pen. Write. Keep it or burn it whatever you like. Journal or make a list or bullet points or narrative…whatever. Just write.


15, 21



Check out the Wolf Trap Children's summer theater.


4-11



Talk about how choices become habits. Habits can become addictions. Describe how pathways are literally dug into the brain and it's very hard to change them once those paths are made.


13-16



Plan trip to Outside Lands music festival at Golden Gate Park


17



Read Elizabeth Gilbert’s book on creativity. Re-read every few years!


17



Processing an emotion means you’re not acting on it or avoiding it, you’re just with it. I like to picture it as a person and then imagine having a cup of coffee or a beer with it. Hope this helps you. xoxo


13, 16



Give your all on the job, from your first day to your last day there. If you’re all caught up on your work help someone else with theirs.


17, 21



The person you have the most electric connection to may not be the ideal choice for a life partner.


15, 19, 21



Ask “Is your belly full?” Instead of saying “Clean your plate!” Have them stay in touch with hunger/food connection.


3