I once asked my mom if my grandmother (her mother in law) was rich. Her reply: “No, but she likes to think she is.” I think she meant my grandmother spent money like she had plenty of it when she really did not. Can relate. I hope you do better!


14, 21



You think you’re smart now but just wait. Your brain is just getting warmed up. Feed it: books, travel, music, mushrooms.


14, 17, 21



Look into language school. Now is a good time to start learning Chinese, Spanish or Arabic.


5-8



Write “thank you” notes, send pics of them wearing the outfit Grandma gave, etc. You get so many gifts...Be a grateful recipient.


7



Read Thanks for the Feedback by Heen and Stone. Crucial for ADHD and rejection sensitivity. Wish I had it when I was about to launch into my career!


15, 19, 21



Don’t let some dumb-sh*t’s overconfidence get you killed.


11, 14, 17, 19, 21



Have a charity lemonade stand. Pediatric cancer research, immigrant children, etc. Lots of problems...Let them be involved in part of the solution.


7-10



Trust me when I tell you that one day you’ll look back and realize you judged people unfairly and you held strong to convictions only to end up changing your mind about in the light of life experience. Leave a little space open for second impressions or the possibility that you could be wrong.


17



My mom used to proudly describe herself as an “Irish Catholic Democrat.” I think my dad voted for Reagan once but other than that we’re all pretty liberal.


18



When things get scary, look for the helpers. This is true in physical crises and existential ones. SCOTUS just passed down a few truly horrifying rulings, including reversing Roe v Wade. I’m disheartened in all that’s going on, but was reminded to look for the helpers, the activists, etc. Look for them…and join them.


10, 15, 21



Change the furniture around in your dorm, apartment or bedroom every once in a while. It’s an easy way to break up a timeline like for a holiday a season or after a breakup, etc.


18



“In the middle of the pain you didn’t cause, the change you didn’t want, the reality you didn’t know was coming . . . your life can still be beautiful.” Lysa TerKeurst


20



Failed? Lift yourself up, or live there. You know the work you need to do, be it physical, mental, emotional or spiritual, etc. So do it. Do the work. The only bitterness in failure comes from not having the guts to get back up again.


12, 16, 18, 20, 21



Life is difficult...Focus on the joy.


16, 20



It’s so tempting to write someone off, to dismiss them as “less than.” They’re too young or too old to be taken seriously. They speak a different language or have a different skin color. They may be poor, uneducated, disabled or just simply unattractive. RESIST that temptation. Remember that every human being is God’s creation, a masterpiece cloaked in dignity. No matter what they look like or even what they’ve done, everyone you meet is deserving (and in need) of respect. To be humble is to remember this. (Start lesson young, phrased age-appropriately, and reticket yearly. Look for opportunities to discuss.)


8, 10, 11, 12, 16, 21



Whether they’re young or old, try not to under-estimate people. Most people will impress the heck out of you.


15



“Those who cannot change their mind cannot change anything.” -George Bernard Shaw...... As you live and love and learn, your views will evolve. It takes courage to grow.


16



When making decisions remember HALT: are you hungry, angry, lonely or tired? (Or ecstatic) Give yourself time to be in a good place. Ask yourself if you’re choosing something because it’s going to bring you closer to being as authentically yourself or are you trying to meet someone else’s expectations? This is not to say you won’t need to compromise and put others first (spouse/ family.) That happens a lot in marriage. No, I mean ask yourself if you’re trying to prove something or are you being true to yourself. Hope that helps.


18, 21



Drill on stuff that will be valuable throughout their lifetime: Vocabulary, geography, addition and subtraction.


10, 12, 14, 20



It’s not fair to resent someone for being who they are. We can all improve ourselves, learn and grow etc. but we should never ask anyone to change who they are in exchange for our love. And that goes both ways - never change who you are to fit someone else’s idea of who you should be. Be open to ways to can improve yourself of course, but surround yourself with people who love you for you and encourage you to be your genuine self and who want the best for you.


12, 15, 18, 21



Learn how to release energy consciously, or you’ll end up releasing it unconsciously onto your loved ones in a negative way like yelling or arguing. Breathe, sing, shout, cry, sweat, play, bake, whatever floats your boat!


1-21



Whatever you choose to do, do it well and there will always be a demand for you. (Quoting Adam Schiff from his book “Midnight in Washington.”


16



Mackinac Island trip


10



Define success for yourself. Be wary of becoming a corporate coal miner. Why bust your $@!#% for years and in school so you can bust your $@!#% for years in a soul-sucking job? Regardless of compensation that is not success in my book. How do you define success? For me it's "Do good. Have fun. Belong to a tribe. Meaningful work with people you love.Make enough money to pay the bills and not have to worry about the basics."


17



Work towards your goal. If you screw-up, fix it. The worst thing you could do is give up just because you made a mistake. Nobody’s perfect. Keep going!


14, 19



Pour energy into what’s right with you and see what happens.


20, 21



You’re getting stronger by the day. Use your strength to protect, never to intimidate. Abusers and bullies are cowards and just the worst of men.


14, 17, 21



Bring Christmas cookies to local fire station and police station. (Annually)


6



1