“The next generation never learns anything from the previous one until it’s brought home like a hammer.” - Harry Truman
13, 16, 21
Actions have consequences- so does inaction. Avoiding a problem or decision is not an effective solution.
18
Resist the urge to blurt out and over share when you’re feeling pressured to say something. Have a few “go to” phrases in your back pocket. “I’m at a lack of words” or “vibe check” or “let’s take a beat.” Come up with your own. Calm, kind, respectful. xoxo
11, 12, 14, 17, 21
Try using “No doesn’t tell me your needs” when toddler / little kid disobeys. “Were you trying to be funny? Do you need a minute?”
3
You’ll start dating soon. Have fun! Good luck. Prepare yourself for broken hearts. They come with the territory. (Worth it.) Talk about healthy ways to manage breakups and fear of breaking up.
13
My biggest regret is wasting my energy on people who didn’t think much of me. You can’t make someone love you. It’s a mystery what brings people together. You didn’t do anything wrong, you just need to let go and spend your light on people who bask in it.
17
Always keep a clean rag within arm’s reach in the car. You never know when you might need to clean-up a spill or smash a spider while driving 50mph.
16
Honesty without kindness is brutality. Kindness without honesty is manipulation. (That said, when anyone asks if that outfit makes them look fat, the answer is “you look perfect.”)
20
“How we learn to hold what hurts shapes so much of who we are. What we choose to do with our pain defines us more than most things.“ -Chani Nicholas
11, 14, 17
Check out fencing. Local fencing club has classes for kids and adults all ages. They also do birthday parties, so that might be something different that would be fun for him and his friends.
10
To paraphrase Chris Rock, “You don’t get points for NOT beating your wife.” Meaning, you’re EXPECTED to do the right thing. So do the right thing, without any expectation of praise.
14, 18
Happiness, beauty, health, fun, success: define for yourself what each of those things mean. People and society are gonna try and convince you to share their definitions…don’t let them.
13, 15, 17, 21
Read poem “Wild Geese” by Mary Oliver. (“...You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves...”)
17
To avoid miscommunication and misplaced expectations, tell your partner what you need from them. But if what you need is for them to be a different person, that’s not fair to them or to you. Let them go and set about finding the right person.
18, 20
Never post a pic to social media that you wouldn't want Grandma to see. NEVER send or ask to receive naked pictures. It's tacky, gross, illegal and not worth it. Even if "everyone does it". It's rude and disrespectful.
11-13, 18
Even when something’s not the right fit (job interview, blind date, audition, etc.) you’re still making connections. You never know what could happen, so stay engaged and be yourself. Maybe that blind date who’s not into you has a friend who might be. Maybe that casting director will call you for a totally different role. Chin up! Ride the positive vibes you put out into the universe.
12,18, 21
Have dinner guests sign the under side of the dining room table. Let the kids’ friends sign too - or have their own version of a guestbook - the inside of a cabinet or the basement door, etc.
5, 12-14
Have them practice making trade offs based on their financial priorities. For example: Pedicure or movie?
9
My love for you will never run out - neither will God’s love / patience run out. I will always instruct, discipline and give consequences for bad behavior- because it’s my job to teach you. But there’s nothing you could do to lose my love. Remind them daily.
5-20