People may have all kinds of different motives for doing what they do, saying what they say. To “give someone the benefit of the doubt” means that you consider what the best possible reason they may have for doing what they did and assume that was the motive. If someone has earned your trust, even if it’s that they’ve done nothing to break your trust, give them the benefit of the doubt.


11-15



You have to learn how to not start, and how to stop abruptly when you’re turned on. Doesn’t matter how much you want it, nothing happens unless she gives enthusiastic consent, and nothing continues if she were to withdraw consent for any reason or at any time. Look up the making tea analogy for consent. It’s perfect.


14, 15, 16, 17, 18



Read poem “Wild Geese” by Mary Oliver. (“...You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves...”)


17



I want you to remember that for the first three years of your life I couldn’t take a poop without you on my lap. So there will be no shirking hugs from Mom now that you’re a teenager. xoxo


14



Dress to people will listen to you, not look at you. (This is especially true at school and work.)


15, 18, 21



Something to remember on those days when the kids are making you nuts and you’re at the end of your parenting rope: “They love you no matter what. They always want to be close to you. Even when you’re screwing up, they still think you’re amazing. They want to be just like you when they grow up. You are their hero. You may be their mom, but they’re constantly reminding you of your worth.”


2



You are a miracle. Take good care of yourself: Mind, body and soul.


21



Read Admiral William McRaven’s autobiography Sea Stories.


17



“Anger is a wonderful catalyst but a terrible companion.” - Brene Brown


15, 21



Begin colon cancer screening at 40. We have a family history on both sides.


21



Jump in and help where help is needed. Don’t wait to be asked. Whether it’s clearing dishes at home or friend’s house or tasks at work. It could be something big like solves problem or little, putting paper in the copy machine at work.


15, 18. 21



Pour energy into what’s right with you and see what happens.


20, 21



“For better or worse means no matter what life throws at us, not no matter what you do to me.” - Brenda Linn


19, 21



You’re not obsessed with that person you’re just hyper fixating. It’s ADHD.


12, 16, 19, 21



Yes, push yourself and see how far / fast / high you can go (physically, academically, etc.) But remember, you have nothing to prove to anyone except yourself.


14, 17, 21



Music, arts, words or dancing can have a profound effect on the spirit. Let's find something that gives you chills!


11-14



Sometimes the job will require you to do menial tasks. Do them enthusiastically because nothing is “beneath you.” If the good Lord can wash people’s feet, you can make coffee at the office. Get over yourself.


16, 21



Dress for the job you want, not the one you have. Unless you're a lifeguard. ;)


16, 21



Let's all go on a "complaining diet." See how long we can go without a complaint for a weekend. Repeat often.


9-15



Read A Mother’s Reckoning by Sue Klebold (mother of Columbine shooter.)


12



When you feel like judging someone, try to resist the urge and get curious instead. There’s always a story.


16



I want to talk about when NOT to join in. Friends are great and feeling like we belong feels so good. But there are times I hope you muster the courage not to go along: Never cause anyone or anything pain in order to be liked. Don't confuse cruelty for humor. Never participate in things that may cause harm to yourself or others. Can you think of some things you want to make sure you don't go along with?


11



Fact: when you drink to excess you are significantly more likely to cause harm to someone or be harmed yourself. Being drunk means surrendering your ability to keep yourself and others safe.


12, 15, 18



Teach to use nail clippers


7



Kindness Confidence = Popular (Be kind to everyone, paying no attention to social status, age, looks, money or disability.) Be confident: Know that you are enough. You’ll never be perfect but no one else is either. When you mess up it’s not the end of the world- laugh at yourself when possible. Learn from failures. Don’t fake interest in people or things that don’t fill you up. Be who you are! People gravitate towards kindness and confidence


12



Okay algebra and geometry but other than that, spend time practicing addition and subtraction, multiplication and division. That’s 99% of the math you’ll need to know if you’re not going to be an engineer, etc.


10, 14, 15, 18, 21



Tube first 2 or 3 years of your life I would sing to you after bath time as I was getting you in your jammies. Two songs: Oh Shenandoah and Danny Boy. Rubbing your tiny little feet with baby lotion while singing to you is one of the happiest memories of my life.


21



Watch YouTube video on how to administer an Epi-pen injection. You have friends with allergies you may need to know how to do this.


11-15



Keep a pair of nail clippers in the car - much better lighting outside. Clipping tiny fingernails is terrifying!


Infant-1