In social situations it's better to talk too little than too much. Don't over-share with people you're not close to.
15
You will never have to hustle for your self-worth. You are worthy of love and respect simply because you exist. Same goes for every other human.
16
Physical contact between two people is only fun / appropriate / legal / healthy if both people are into it. If one party objects, demurs or even acts less-than-interested, that’s the ballgame. Stop physical contact immediately. Be kind and respectful at all times.
15, 18
When dropping them off at a dorm, leave them with. Cookie sheet and cookie dough. Make cookies/make friends.
15, 17, 18, 19, 21
Ability is distributed equally across all demographics, geniuses, artists, musicians etc. are not more likely to be born in a rich community-but they are far more likely to emerge from one with their gift’s having been nurtured. Ability is evenly distributed but accessibility is not. How many lives could be saved if the brilliant surgeon never gets to college? It’s a core mission of mine to do my part to help change that so that all children can realize their dreams if they work for it. No locked gates!
12, 18, 21
Control isn’t safety. Safety is putting in the physical/mental/intellectual/emotional/spiritual work so you’re confident in your ability to address whatever comes your way and thrive, bounce back after getting knocked down.
14, 21
90 seconds or less. No one wants to hear you talk for more than that. (In a personal setting like giving a toast.)
17, 21
They can shower themselves if you install a hand-held shower head and install a suction cup wall-mount shower head holder lower on the shower wall. It’s easy to do and very cheap. They love it!
4-6
Say it early and repeat it often, so that it sinks way down deep: There is nothing you could do to make me stop loving you. No mistake, no failure, no decision, nothing. There is no hole so deep that if you fell into it I wouldn’t climb down to help you out of. I love you no matter what.
7
Summer Olympics for neighborhood kids. Create events in all kinds of sports, games and skills. Mix it up so the littler ones and the less athletically inclined have something they can succeed at too.
8-12
Don't say anything out loud that you wouldn't want repeated or overheard. Don't email / text, etc. anything that you wouldn't want forwarded.
11-15
Things are rarely black and white. Most situations (and all people) are complex. A nuanced approach is necessary to understand them. You can’t learn - or love, if you’re judging.
17
On a job interview, mention a high-level educational goal such as MBA or law school. Their estimation of you will go up without them even realizing it. Your offer will be higher. Also follow, up with a brief but we’ll-written (professional) thank you note/email whatever.
17, 19, 21
Name a few male celebrities you would feel safe with alone in a room. Keanu Reeves, Jack Black, Barack Obama, to start us off.
11, 13, 15
Colin Powell’s 13 rules: 1. It ain't as bad as you think. It will look better in the morning. 2. Get mad, then get over it. 3. Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it. 4. It can be done. 5. Be careful what you choose. You may get it. 6. Don't let adverse facts stand in the way of a good decision. 7. You can't make someone else's choices. You shouldn't let someone else make yours. 8. Check small things. 9. Share credit. 10. Remain calm. Be kind. 11. Have a vision. Be demanding. 12. Don't take counsel of your fears or naysayers. 13. Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.
11, 14, 18
Resist the urge to blurt out and over share when you’re feeling pressured to say something. Have a few “go to” phrases in your back pocket. “I’m at a lack of words” or “vibe check” or “let’s take a beat.” Come up with your own. Calm, kind, respectful. xoxo
11, 12, 14, 17, 21
Get talking. Trade off likes, fears, hopes, dreams, pet peeves, etc. I like... I get mad when... I dream about... It makes me sad when I see... I’m afraid of... I wonder about...
4, 8, 14
To paraphrase Ted Lasso, it’s the people who think they’ve got it all figured out who delight in judging people and events. It’s better to be open minded, ask questions. Be curious, not judgmental.
15, 21
Dress to people will listen to you, not look at you. (This is especially true at school and work.)
15, 18, 21
Consider the source. Consider whose company they are in. You may not know much about issue xyz but look and see who endorses them. If people you trust place trust in them.
11, 13, 15, 18, 21
“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as remaining where you no longer belong, or where you’re unable to be yourself and thrive.” Mandy Hall (paraphrased.)
21
Adopting a “do it right now” mentality has done wonders for my self-discipline. Something on the floor? Grab it right now. Thinking about cooking later? Cook right now. Laundry finished? Put them up right now. Home from a trip? Unpack right then. It’s the small things.
8, 9, 12, 17