In marriage there will be times or occasions when one of you will be “pilot” and the other “copilot” (depending on skills, abilities, circumstances, etc.) Both pilot and copilot are good! But never be a “passenger” in a relationship.
21
Screw “achievement.” Do things you enjoy, share experiences that expand your capacity for joy and compassion. It doesn’t matter if you’re any good, it just matters that you’re in your groove.
16, 21
“Your warmth can be an invitation that unlocks their own.” - Elizabeth Lesser. I love this quote because it’s so true that when you’re kind and genuine, people respond. They take it as a signal that you are a safe place for them to express themselves, which will enable a true connection to be formed. You both win when that happens.
15, 21
No need to over communicate. Brief, simple succinct when conveying instructions or important information. Applies across the board personal/professional etc.
14, 17, 21
Commonly misspelled words - find tricks for remembering. Example desert vs dessert. “Dessert” has an extra “s” for sugar. Search for mnemonics.
11
"The only way to work through sh*tty feelings is to walk through sh*tty feelings." - Psychologist Kristen Howe Hard lesson, but big truth.
15
My mom used to say that one thing her mom taught her was no matter how poor they were they always had a clean house. She made sure of it.
18
Forget perfection. Nothing is perfect. No relationship, job, house, or day is perfect. Let go of expectations, be open to the mess.
18
It’s not fair to resent someone for being who they are. We can all improve ourselves, learn and grow etc. but we should never ask anyone to change who they are in exchange for our love. And that goes both ways - never change who you are to fit someone else’s idea of who you should be. Be open to ways to can improve yourself of course, but surround yourself with people who love you for you and encourage you to be your genuine self and who want the best for you.
12, 15, 18, 21
Paint rocks with pictures or kind messages and find public places to leave them where they can hide in plain site. See RockOurWorldArt.
8-11
Start a tradition of asking them to memorize and recite a poem or famous speech for a gift for Mother’s Day, Christmas, etc. Start small with the little ones, expand as they get older.
8
People want to be heard. Listen to your clients, even when they're upset. Don't make excuses or anything, just let them talk. They mostly just want to be heard. Once they're calm, you can solve the problem.
21
Purpose is more important than happiness. Having a purpose (or looking for it) will save you. (And sometimes finding a *new* purpose is what you need.)
16, 21
In 2024 there’s a medical test to screen for cancer that involves collecting one’s poo and sending it off to the lab. They just called me to tell me they canceled my test due to a clerical error on the order. I was so mad. The thought of doing that poo test again was freaking me out. Why didn’t the flunky who handles the specimens call before they pitched it? Then it dawned on me: it’s someone’s *job* to process poo specimens. Probably hundreds a day. It’s okay they didn’t stop to call and straighten out my test.perspective!!
17, 21
Default to "nice guy." Meaning it should require something significant for you NOT to be nice. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Cut them (and yourself) some slack. Life is hard. We're all in this together.
12
“It’s not as important how a message is received compared to how it is sent.” Sometimes you have to have uncomfortable conversations but the can always be kind and loving. Sometimes your message won’t land well, but if you expressed yourself truthfully and kindly, that’s not your burden to bear.
16