When someone introduces themselves as transgender, it’s no big deal. Simply say “nice to meet you” or “cool.” Then politely ask “What are your pronouns?” And then you know how they prefer to be addressed.
13
They’re not rejecting you, they’re just becoming who they are. Give them some space.
12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17
Go for walks together as a family before or after dinner. Sometimes we go for distance, sometimes we call them "safaris" and look for as many living creatures as we can find.
4
You can’t selectively numb feelings. The inclination to drink, use, shop, gamble, etc. is real but it’s a lie that it will make you feel better. Numbing makes this much, much worse. So feel! The good, the bad, the scary. Talk about your feelings, write about them or create something from your feelings. This is how to process in a healthy way.
16, 20
“Forget about sex. Just play first.” Forget about making a move and just have fun. Dance, listen to music together, go somewhere exciting, look at something beautiful, read to each other, play sports, let yourself be seen and encourage them to do the same. Communicate in a hundred ways: talk/send texts/ post on social media, pass notes, whatever. Sex isn’t the door to intimacy, feeling safe to be yourself around your partner is.
15-20
There is so much available to you. This is good and bad. I hope you choose knowledge, beauty, laughter, etc. Guard against getting caught in a loop of destructive $@!#%: hate, drugs, gambling, porn, etc. The world is full of beauty and it’s full of gross sh*t. I hope you choose a life that seeks out beauty.
16
Considering taking meds for your mental health but concerned about the side effects? Consider the side effects of *not* taking them! Meds don’t turn you into someone you’re not, they lift the murky fog around your brain so you can be more yourself. It’s the depression that changes you. Meds just help you get rid of the fog.
18, 21
There will be many times in your life you feel powerless. What makes you feel powerful? For me, it's a good run, listening to good music with the volume on high. Prayer reminds me I'm connected to God, who is powerful beyond all measure.
14-17
There will be some losses or changes that completely shake you to the core. But remember that some bad experiences are like pooping your pants - Totally horrible but also kind of a relief.
19
"Dollar Store Engineering Kit:" Popsicle sticks, pool noodles, pipe cleaners, straws, light sticks, cups, etc. ALSO LOOK FOR Styrofoam gliders, Styrofoam balls, science kits, candy for candy structures, seasonal or holiday themes. Pinterest has a ton of great ideas for STEM activities.
7
The $@!#% never ends. Dealing with the $@!#% IS your job. If you think you’ll ever reach a “post-$@!#%” stage in your life, you’re wrong.
14, 19
Become habitual about doing that which makes you feel good and yourself and fulfilled. If it’s running, make running a habit and dedicate time for it.
16, 21
Sometimes I think the best way to take care of them is to teach them to take care of others: Littler kids, sick or disabled, those who’ve been left out.
5-7
Spend time with people you admire, in person and biographies, documentaries, novels and movies.
14-17, 21
You’ll be finished with school soon. The most important thing I hope you learned is that there is still so much yet to learn.
21
“Pay yourself first” means save before you spend. You never know when you’ll need to tap into savings, so build it up early and heartily.
18
I don’t want you to do drugs. It could hurt or $@!#% you. If you get caught doing drugs it could hurt your academic record
12, 15, 18
The better you eat, the better you feel. (And look.) if you eat like sh*t you’re going to feel like sh*t. Eat your vegetables! xoxo
17, 21
Enroll in cooking lessons. We'll need to find you someone who knows how to cook. (Don't tell mom I said that.)
14
You’re gonna want to quit, many times. Whether it’s a job, a marriage, a degree, a cause… whatever. I have no way of knowing whether or not you should quit, just know that feeling like you want to quit is normal when you hit a setback or disappointment, or rejection or betrayal. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to feel that way forever. Sometimes it’s best to cut your losses, sometimes it’s better to stick it out. Treat yourself with patience and compassion while you consider what’s best.
14, 17, 21