Stand up (or sit up) straight in photos. Don’t slouch or lean. (You can touch or be close but don’t lean in.)


12, 14, 21



Keep your pants on until you (and your partner) are at least 18. Keep your pants on if you or your partner are drunk. Keep your pants on if you or your partner are not 100% enthusiastic about going farther.


15



Keep stories about younger years to tell them later: You used to call yellow “lellow” etc. Ten years from now you think you’ll remember this stuff but you won’t.


2



Avoid the tendency to obsess over someone. It’s not romantic, it’s self-destructive. You’re worth more than that.


13, 15, 17, 19, 21



I heard a song today, “I love you to the bone” by Sammy Copley. It’s a beautiful story of a lifelong love. It’s my prayer for you that your spouse will have that song played at your funeral after you shared a 75 year- long happy marriage. It’s my prayer that your life is filled with love and laughter, and most importantly a partner who grows with you in all good things. And that you love each other to the bone.


21



Sweetheart you don’t have room in your life for people who don’t get you. Let your light shine…and f*@k anyone who doesn’t appreciate it.


14, 16, 18, 20



Actions have consequences- so does inaction. Avoiding a problem or decision is not an effective solution.


18



If you sleep with a girl, always call or text the next day. Don't be a d-bag.


18



Keep difficult conversations brief. Under ten minutes then table it so everyone can process.


13, 14, 16. 19, 21



Watch “The Sandlot” together. Great story about friendship and showing up for each other.


8



There is so much available to you. This is good and bad. I hope you choose knowledge, beauty, laughter, etc. Guard against getting caught in a loop of destructive $@!#%: hate, drugs, gambling, porn, etc. The world is full of beauty and it’s full of gross sh*t. I hope you choose a life that seeks out beauty.


16



There’s a difference between looking cool and being cool. A person who wants to look cool is trying to impress other people. A person who is actually cool is true to himself /herself. Dress how it makes YOU happy! And fun fact, it’s those people who are the most well-liked because they sort of give others permission to be themselves…and everyone wants to be seen and liked for who they really are. So if you want to be popular remember three things: Be kind. Be yourself. Don’t judge


12,15



If you’re having trouble finding your passion, read biographies and memoirs of people from all walks of life. There are so many worlds out there! You’ll find one that excites you, where your unique talents and skill set can shine.


19



It's natural to avoid change. Try to learn to accept change, embrace it if you can! Change is good. :)


15



When COVID started my first thought was “Holy sh*t Trump is going to cancel the 2020 election because of pandemic.” Thank God I was wrong.


15



Opioids are highly addictive. If possible, stay away from them entirely and definitely not for more than 2-3 days. Manage pain with NSAIDS or Tylenol.


16, 18, 21



Philippians 4: 11-13


12



Challenge yourself to excel at something. You’ll be astonished how good you can get by practicing consistently. There’s nothing magical about high school quarterbacks or drummers. Girls like boys who have something going on.


13, 14, 17



The opposite of addiction is connection. Genuine connection can take lots of forms.


14, 17, 19, 21



It’s fine, great, to be thrifty. But please don’t be cheap. Hard-earned money should neither be squandered or hoarded. Enjoy your success! But save more than you’re comfortable with. It’s like my running coach used to say: Keep going until you feel like you’re gonna poop your pants, then push yourself to do another mile. Point is, it should hurt a little.


16, 21



“Pain that is not transformed is transmitted.” Fr. Richard Rohr


14



Start saving money early. Save as much as you can. There are plenty of things worth spending your money on, but be mindful about your money - Don’t p*ss it away.


15, 20



Your brain seeks novelty. Try new things as long as you live. Take risks (but not safety risks!)


20



When it comes to conflict- what is your part in things?


15, 21



The more you want, the less you get.


14, 16, 21



I’ve been trying to retrain my brain to deal with anxiety in healthy ways. It’s SO hard when these connections were fused decades ago. BUT I REFUSE to be a party to YOU laying down those same unhealthy neurological pathways. I’ll teach you better ways to handle stress and anxiety. Exercise/ Music/ warm showers/ creativity/ rest/ journaling/ meditation... WHATEVER! I promise to Somehow teach you what I never learned.


5-10, 14



This Coda is my creation. It’s what I wanted to accomplish as a parent. What you do with it is entirely up to you. I hope you never feel like you have to do the same. Make your own way. Make yourself proud. If you’re happy, I’m happy.


21



Go as a family to local high school musical productions.


7-18



Here’s something I wish wasn’t true but is: Looks matter. This is true for anyone but 100x more so for a woman. Take care of yourself. Stay in good shape, eat well, wear sunscreen, dress well and be well-groomed. It shouldn’t matter but it does. (But try not to judge other people by their appearance- Often times the very best people (friends, spouses, job applicants, etc.) don’t look like movie stars. Far from it!) Yes, looks matter but I hope you value true beauty more.


12, 19



Police officers and members of the military put their lives on the line to protect us. Be respectful of them and thank them for their service.


9