If you ever borrow someone’s car, return it with a full tank of gas.


20



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19



From our beautiful Grandma Marie: Go easy on the makeup, get serious about skincare. Don’t skimp, use good-quality products on your face and neck. And remember SUNSCREEN on face, neck and hands every day!


16



A hard day’s work is something to be proud of, not afraid of.


8, 12, 15, 20



Girls: does he put in the effort even when it’s inconvenient or uncomfortable for him?


16, 20, 21



That uneasy, uncomfortable or even downright painful feeling you get when you’re faced with something that challenges you ... resist the urge to run away from it. Take a breath and just sit with it for a minute. That feeling you’re feeling is growth. Growth always hurts a little bit. Give yourself a beat to get adjusted before you decide if you want to stay or turn back.


7, 11, 14, 18, 21



There is an expression “God only gives you what you can handle.” I think that’s backwards. I think that God gives you the grace you need to handle whatever comes your way. He is faithful and generous. I think that’s what “Be not afraid” means.


17



Adopting a “do it right now” mentality has done wonders for my self-discipline. Something on the floor? Grab it right now. Thinking about cooking later? Cook right now. Laundry finished? Put them up right now. Home from a trip? Unpack right then. It’s the small things.


8, 9, 12, 17



You can be angry. But you can’t drive while angry or talk to a child or work, or do anything dangerous when you’re angry.


15, 20



Worry less about molding them and focus on loving them.


2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14, 16, 17, 18, 19, 21



Every “yes” to something is a “no” to something else. Take your time processing the choices - write in your journal, sweat it out, listen to music, talk to someone you trust, read books from experts. Once you’re clear about what you’re giving up, let it go and don’t look back. (Remember there’s no advice that’s right more than 99% of the time. Always trust your gut. Just remember an impulse isn’t the same thing as a gut check.)


15, 16, 19, 21



Other peoples’ expectations are the guard rails on the road. They keep you safe and guide you he way - literally. They keep you from driving off a cliff. So if you want to be safe, and if you do that’s great, stay within the guardrails. But if you want to fly, you’re gonna have to run right over them.


18, 21



Find what you love Do what you love Be what you love Live what you love Love what you love and never look back ... Except to love.


19



Your great-great grandmother was a seamstress at Marshall Fields. Her husband was a firefighter in Chicago. The immigrated from County Wexford in Ireland.


10



Book “8 Candles and a Tree” about celebrating interfaith holidays.


7



Fall in love with a person, not a feeling.


19



Actions have consequences- so does inaction. Avoiding a problem or decision is not an effective solution.


18



Healing happens when you give up the hope that the past could have been any different. xoxo


20



Frustrated with school or work? It bothers you because you care or you hurt. That’s human.


14



Get book “Talk to Me First: Everything You Need to Know to Become Your Kids'Go-To Person about Sex.” by Deborah Roffman.


7



“Pick a problem - any problem,and do something about it. Because to somebody who is hurting, ‘something’ is everything.” -Oprah Winfrey


12-16



Processing an emotion means you’re not acting on it or avoiding it, you’re just with it. I like to picture it as a person and then imagine having a cup of coffee or a beer with it. Hope this helps you. xoxo


13, 16



Sometimes you can be so angry you don’t know what to do with yourself. It’s like being forced to keep your hand on a hot stove, trying to get through one minute at a time, one even one breath at a time. But there’s no need to white-knuckle it. The rage you feel is demanding to be acknowledged and validated. It needs to be processed, not ignored, stuffed down inside. A short list of some outlets for rage that’s begging to be heard are: art, music, physical activity, time in nature, anything creative or expressive. Baking, writing, improv, storytelling, stand up. Maybe try challenging yourself to do something difficult, something doable but you would have never thought you could do, like run a marathon, etc. Literally talk to the rage. Name it. Is it male or female? Young or old? Is it human or animal or alien, etc? Giving Rage a name, say for example Helen. Helen is a straight-up terrifying 8th grader. She has a few things she’d like to unload about. Dialog it in your head. And when you’ve heard her out, Helen will leave peacefully, if not painlessly. What do you do with yourself when the rage is gone? Give yourself permission to start over. Always remember I love you. xoxo


14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 21



Give him a copy of The Secret Lives of Great Composers by Elizabeth Lunday.


14



Keep screen time to a minimum.


2-8



Talk about what’s normal and what’s abnormal reactions to alcohol and drugs. Basically all kinds of feels from euphoria to paranoia to jealousy or infatuation, etc. Getting sick is normal but blacking out is not. *Anything that could interfere with breath or circulation is dangerous.


13, 15, 17



Read Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson together.


17



Reinforce this at every opportunity: “You matter.” Kids respond to this message deeply, whether it comes from a positive source (parents/teacher/coach) or people who are only trying to exploit them.


2-18



“Never let anyone tell you who you are. SHOW them who you are.” - Kamala Harris


12, 13, 17, 21