You are always responsible for how you act, no matter what you’re feeling. (Or whether you’re drunk or in any way impaired.) Hammer this point home for the next 10 years!


13



It matters more “how” you go to college than “where” you go to college.


16



People may have all kinds of different motives for doing what they do, saying what they say. To “give someone the benefit of the doubt” means that you consider what the best possible reason they may have for doing what they did and assume that was the motive. If someone has earned your trust, even if it’s that they’ve done nothing to break your trust, give them the benefit of the doubt.


11-15



Give them marshmallows to suck on when they get a sore throat. Takes away the pain!


3,4,5,6



Re-Read Tim Russert's Big Russ and Me.


14



Geocaching


5-11



Give them the book Starfish by Lisa Fipps.


12, 14



Visit Aunt Janet in Morehead City for Seafood Festival in October


2-99



Read Moth by Amber McBride. Young adult fiction in verse about grief. Twists and turns.


15



None of us should ever have to apologize for being who we are.


10, 14, 21



Sex talk: “Forget about sex. Just play first.” Forget about making a move and just have fun. Dance, listen to music together, go somewhere exciting, look at something beautiful, read to each other, play sports, let yourself be seen and encourage them to do the same. Communicate in a hundred ways: talk/send texts/ post on social media, pass notes, whatever. “Sex isn’t the door to intimacy


15



Institute a “leave by” time instead of a curfew. That way they won’t panic / speed if something out of their control happens to make them late. “Leave Riley’s house by 10pm.”


13



When the poop hits the fan, that's when real discipleship begins.


15-18



Ask him to memorize and recite William Ernest Henley poem “Invictus” as a Christmas present for me.


15



Read JAMA article by Brooke Peterson Gabster.


18



Dating advice: If they like you, you’re gonna know. If they don’t, you’re gonna be confused.”


16, 21



It’s fine, great, to be thrifty. But please don’t be cheap. Hard-earned money should neither be squandered or hoarded. Enjoy your success! But save more than you’re comfortable with. It’s like my running coach used to say: Keep going until you feel like you’re gonna poop your pants, then push yourself to do another mile. Point is, it should hurt a little.


16, 21



Pool safety- never touch equipment and always have a grownup present when swimming.


3-8



Be kinder than necessary.


9, 15, 21



Ask them “what would it take for you to_____?” (Keep your room clean, stay on top of your homework, feel like you had more control in this situation, etc.) Instead of nagging or lecturing, just ask.


13



Know the difference between an inconvenience and a tragedy. Hint: If it can be fixed with money or effort, it’s probably not a tragedy.


15, 20



Begin colon cancer screening at 40. We have a family history on both sides.


21



There are things you should not say: Never comment or ask a woman about her age or weight. Never comment on how many kids someone has (or doesn’t have.) The size, timing, composition, etc of someone else’s family is not your business to weigh in on. You never know who is struggling with loss or infertility, etc. And if someone announces they are expecting their seventh kid, the only correct response is “Congratulations” “How are you feeling?” etc. Just like you would if it was their first. Never ask someone how much weight they lost. If they’ve lost weight, just say “You look wonderful/amazing/ fantastic, etc.” And of course never comment on anyone having gained weight. Just say “You look wonderful.” And never never never ask someone how much money they earn or how much money they have, or how much they owe or paid for something, etc. People’s finances are personal, and are just not any of your business.


15, 20



Don’t waste big money on little things. Be intentional about what you spend.


16, 21



There is so much available to you. This is good and bad. I hope you choose knowledge, beauty, laughter, etc. Guard against getting caught in a loop of destructive $@!#%: hate, drugs, gambling, porn, etc. The world is full of beauty and it’s full of gross sh*t. I hope you choose a life that seeks out beauty.


16



Sesame Street has great resources on teaching finances to little ones.


4-5



Don’t take criticism from people you wouldn’t take advice from.


16



Typically, brains aren’t mature until about age 25. ADHD brains take longer


17, 21



Watch YouTube video on how to administer an Epi-pen injection. You have friends with allergies you may need to know how to do this.


11-15



Go as a family to local high school musical productions.


9-13



1