Purpose is more important than happiness. Having a purpose (or looking for it) will save you. (And sometimes finding a *new* purpose is what you need.)


16, 21



Enroll in a CPR course. Re-certify every year.


13



Challenge: Memorize and recite The New Colossus by Emma Lazarus.


10



When you’re getting serious in a relationship here’s something to consider- To what extent is your partner is willing to put others’ needs before their own?


21



Spend 20 minutes a day watching a show you like in Spanish (or whatever your target language is) with reactionary subtitles. You’ll pick it up in no time!


13, 16, 19



There are a lot of people I care about. But I’ve decided there are only four whose opinion of me I care about: My kid, my god, myself and my dog.


18



“You will use up everything you got trying to give people what they want.” —- Nina Simone


17



Institute a “Wall of Fame” for accomplishments and victories, big and small. AND a “Wall of Shame” for minor infractions such as not changing the toilet paper roll, etc. We have to be willing to put ourselves on the wall of shame too - and that’s the lesson: We all make mistakes but we own up to them, fix them if possible and learn from them always. Also good fun. Start our with actual paper version but transition to a shared iCloud album to post wall of shame pics once they are old enough for phones. Maybe even continue through adulthood if they “shame” themselves!


5-15, 18, 21



Anything can be an opportunity for you to grow if you approach it with the right mindset. “What can I learn” “How can I turn this into a way to advance my goals?” I know, it’s kinda corny but it’s true. Your attitude is everything.


8, 10, 14, 18, 21



Seek / Accept job offers that teach you something valuable. Now isn’t the time in your life to worry about the money or status. Get experience! Have fun, learn, grow, challenge yourself and try new things.


15-20



Prayer for Teen Years ___ Please God, let them make good choices and get through these teen years with pride and not regret. ___ When they make mistakes (‘cause we both know they will) ____help me keep things in perspective, forgive easily _____and pour love into them again and again.


13, 14



Before a play date or sleepover ask the parent “Are there any unlocked guns in the house?”


6-9



Read (or listen to) A Fragile Stone together.


15



Teach tuck to drive


15



Marriage tip: King sized blanket on Queen size bed.


21



Model being a considerate person.


2-18



Don't let the laundry pile up. This lessons extends to pretty much every chore: Stay ahead of it and you won't get crushed by it.


17



Read Moth by Amber McBride. Young adult fiction in verse about grief. Twists and turns.


15



Consensual sex requires no persuasion, convincing or begging.


14, 17



When you know better, do better. No one is born a fully actualized human being! We are all in the process of becoming who we wish to be.


16, 21



You’re gonna want to quit, many times. Whether it’s a job, a marriage, a degree, a cause… whatever. I have no way of knowing whether or not you should quit, just know that feeling like you want to quit is normal when you hit a setback or disappointment, or rejection or betrayal. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to feel that way forever. Sometimes it’s best to cut your losses, sometimes it’s better to stick it out. Treat yourself with patience and compassion while you consider what’s best.


14, 17, 21



Be kind. Be brave.


5-10



Avoid the tendency to obsess over someone. It’s not romantic, it’s self-destructive. You’re worth more than that.


13, 15, 17, 19, 21



“When it comes to consequences, don’t speak what you won’t serve.” Meaning don’t threaten any punishment you’re not willing to enforce. This is helpful in terms of teaching the child a lesson and also an important lesson in not shooting yourself in the foot. (I took away your tv one day you were home on a snow day. Bad idea. That punishment was against my own interest! I got no work done.


2



Adopting a “do it right now” mentality has done wonders for my self-discipline. Something on the floor? Grab it right now. Thinking about cooking later? Cook right now. Laundry finished? Put them up right now. Home from a trip? Unpack right then. It’s the small things.


8, 9, 12, 17



When it comes to clothes and makeup, women have one dress code: whatever the f*ck they want. Hijab or bikini, it’s not women’s job to appeal to men. It’s not women’s job to keep men’s appetites subdued.


14, 17, 21



Practice "shaking off the sleepy." It's hard to wake up when your body is screaming for more sleep. If you practice, you'll get better. Get up, get in the shower and shake off the sleepy. It works!


6, 7, 13-15



“When you are not fed love off a silver spoon you will learn to lick it off of knives.” Lauren Eden (poet)


0, 20



Teach them how to eat a chicken wing in one bite


12



Date all kinds but marry someone who loves you for who you are, with whom you feel most yourself. Someone who will encourage you to grow more into the person you want to be. (And be good at encouraging them to do same.) Never fear or stifle each other’s growth. Celebrate it. Support it. Encourage it.


21