Quoting Glennon Doyle: “Things can feel hard and sad and still be exactly right, all at the same time.” She’s referring to her divorce but the sentiment applies to all kinds of tough choices that we all make. Very few choices feel 100% right.
17
There is so much darkness in the world - keep pushing back against it every way you can. Be a force for good.
14, 16, 21
You’re getting stronger by the day. Use your strength to protect, never to intimidate. Abusers and bullies are cowards and just the worst of men.
14, 17, 21
Special occasion gift idea: put a video together of a ton of friends and family wishing them the best. Maybe it’s graduation, or wedding or big move, or for when she’s in labor, etc. Ask friends and family to film a short video of encouragement/congratulations/support/advice/etc.
17, 20, 21
Teach them about the law and how it applies to them: Here's what happens if you hurt someone, steal, drive drunk, use or sell drugs, sexting, etc.
12
“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as remaining where you no longer belong, or where you’re unable to be yourself and thrive.” Mandy Hall (paraphrased.)
21
Don’t Just “go along for the ride” in your relationships. Be clear about your intentions and act accordingly. It’s part of being a man. A GOOD man. Sometimes you just need to have a talk and make sure you’re both on the same page. It won’t $@!#% you!
16, 21
Gambling is a very tricky thing. It can get out of hand easily because of how the brain works. That initial “rush” of excitement starts to burn pathways, and causes chemical reactions that need to be fed more and more. Before you know it you’re gambling more often and with more money, trying to achieve that rush. Be very, very careful with gambling. Gambling casinos and online gaming know this and they exploit it to make TONS of money. It’s a scam. Avoid gambling all together or step away very early.
16, 18, 19, 21
Practice these skills: Love yourself Respect yourself Value yourself Enjoy yourself
4, 6, 8, 12, 15, 17, 21
Our nervous systems are just trying to keep us safe. If you were thrown into fight/flight/fawn today, give yourself some grace.
14, 21
People want to be heard. Listen to your clients, even when they're upset. Don't make excuses or anything, just let them talk. They mostly just want to be heard. Once they're calm, you can solve the problem.
21
“Anger is the part of yourself that loves you the most. It knows when you are being mistreated, neglected, or disrespected. It signals that you have to take a step out of a place that doesn’t do you justice. It makes you aware that you need to leave a room, a job, a relationship, and old patterns that don’t work for you anymore. Learn to listen to your anger and make it your best friend. Then it’ll leave.” -author unknown
11, 14, 16, 19, 21
ABC's of video game addiction: Autonomy, Belonging, Control. Try to find ways to developing these things in areas outside of gaming. Games are great, but not at the expense of everything else.
1Infant-13
People who have something to prove are dangerous to themselves and others. We are all worthy of love. Remember that.
11, 13, 17, 19, 21
Your great-great grandmother was a seamstress at Marshall Fields. Her husband was a firefighter in Chicago. The immigrated from County Wexford in Ireland.
10
If baby / toddler is melting down, put them in the bathtub or bring them outside. A change in temperature will calm them.
Infant-4
Eat at a local restaurant tonight. Get the cream sauce. Have a cold pint at 4 o’clock in a mostly empty bar. Go somewhere you’ve never been. Listen to someone you think may have nothing in common with you. Order the steak rare. Eat an oyster. Have a Negroni. Have two. Be open to a world where you may not understand or agree with the person next to you, but have a drink with them anyways. Eat slowly. Tip your server. Check in on your friends. Check in on yourself. Enjoy the ride." - Anthony Bourdain
18, 21
Practice real-life mental math: Calculate time / age: If someone was born in 1994 how old are they today? Make change in your head: Cost is 14.27, how much change do you have if you give the cashier 20 bucks? Calculate percentages: tips, tax brackets, sales!!
12, 14, 20
Talk about how choices become habits. Habits can become addictions. Describe how pathways are literally dug into the brain and it's very hard to change them once those paths are made.
13-16
Listen to records, a whole album at a time. 2 or 3 in a row. Bring friends, eat, drink, hangout, be goofy, dance, etc.
14-18
Find what you love Do what you love Be what you love Live what you love Love what you love and never look back ... Except to love.
19
You’ll be finished with school soon. The most important thing I hope you learned is that there is still so much yet to learn.
21
A lesson from author Tom Zumba. I hope you’ll never need it: “There is nothing nothing easy about this thing called grief. Nothing. But I ask you to please please please say yes more often than you say no. Say yes to you. To possibility. To hope. To love. To life. To healing. Please choose the light more often than you choose the darkness. Not that there aren't gifts in the darkness. There are. But it's often so much easier to find them the gifts in the light. Do all you can to stay in the light. Please remember that the person you love so so so dearly lived. Don't forget that. He lived. She lived. Here with you. And your relationship continues. Always. Don't be so overwhelmed and paralyzed and pissed off that he died that she died that you spend most of your time focusing on their death. Focus on your life. Together. Say yes as often as you can. Choose light as often as you can. Remember that he lived as often as you can. Don't lose her in the details of her death. This thing called grief is hard hard hard work. But you are stronger than you think. His book is called Permission to Mourn
21