Don’t use a bad word when you can use a good word.


10



Put down your phone and be in the moment. Teach this. Model this.


7



Read Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson together.


17



“But what is grief if not love preserving?” - Unknown


18



Always hold the door open for the next person.


4-14



Show up. Be there when people are counting on you. Be at the celebrations and the funerals. Be at work and school when you're supposed to be.


12-19



There is a cost and a duty to everything we own. Rachel Maddow


16



Read “Attack of the Black Rectangles” by Amy Sarid King.


12



Sometimes it feels really good to say “no.” (Or “no thank you.” Or “$@!#% no!”)


14, 20



“It’s not your job to make people love you. It’s your job to show people who you are and allow them the opportunity to love you, if they want to. If they don’t, please just let them walk away. They were probably going to walk away anyway, they were just sticking around to see if you’d beg a little bit. Don’t even give them that. Let them go. You’re not a shape shifter. You’re not going to turn into the version of yourself that you think would be more lovable by the person you are trying to be loved by. That’s not love, that’s exhausting.” -Elyse Myers, one of my favorite Tiktokers. You deserve to be loved for who you genuinely are. I wish I’d read this when I was young. Would’ve saved me years of pain and frustration.


16-21



If you have a goal, just dive in. It's okay if you mess up or fail. Start over, get help... but start.


13, 18, 21



All behavior is communication.


2-6



“1883” Season 1 episode 6 has one of my favorite scenes about grief. “When you love someone you trade souls with them. Part of them lives in you and part of you lives with them. When they die, part of you dies with them. But a part of them lives in you.” Beautiful thought.


17, 21



Ask him to memorize and recite William Ernest Henley poem “Invictus” as a Christmas present for me.


15



Be present. Don’t turn every conversation into a lesson. They stay in their rooms so much because they feel safe there. They’re tired and stressed out and managing a lot of change.


13



My mom used to say that one thing her mom taught her was no matter how poor they were they always had a clean house. She made sure of it.


18



Read Thanks for the Feedback by Heen and Stone. Crucial for ADHD and rejection sensitivity. Wish I had it when I was about to launch into my career!


15, 19, 21



Never make a decision from a place of hopelessness.


14, 16, 21



Born To Dance has lessons and also does birthday parties. A dance class is a good way to get up and out of the house on Saturday mornings during the winter months. It'll be fun at this age - while he's still young enough to enjoy it without being self-conscious. Also a good way to get exercise before he's ready for organized sports.


4-5



You can’t be a good parent if you’re a miserable person. Take care of yourself. Make the changes necessary to get in a good place. Ask for help. The happier you are, the happier they will be.


1, 10, 15



My favorite Chinese food order is chicken Kung Pao, shrimp fried rice and beef lo mein. That way we all get a little of each meat.


16



"You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read." ~ James Baldwin


14, 19



Assume any email or text you send will be distributed.


12, 15



Sometimes fear feels like a signal to get out of there, but being uncomfortable in a new situation is totally normal. Practice sitting in that discomfort and you’ll find it gets easier.


9, 12, 15, 17, 21



Grandpa didn’t drink coffee, but when he was in Korea he used to drink it just so he could hold the cup and keep his hands warm. (During the Korean War be enlisted in the Marines with a bunch of his buddies right after high school.)


14, 21



Time is of the essence


16



Keep stories about younger years to tell them later: You used to call yellow “lellow” etc. Ten years from now you think you’ll remember this stuff but you won’t.


2



Sesame Street has great resources on teaching finances to little ones.


4-5



Meditation isn’t about a quiet mind, it’s about training a distracted mind to remain in the present. Focus on your breathing for one minute (set a timer.) Every time your thoughts wonder, gently bring your focus back to your breath. You may have to do this 10, 20, 30 or more times during those 60 seconds…but eventually you’ll get better. When you do, increase to two minutes, then five, all the way up to 30 minutes or even an hour.


16