Be the kind of man that people feel safe around. Safe from harm, safe from judgment and safe from ridicule.


17



Avoid commenting on the number of children someone has (or doesn’t have.) Its none of your business to ask why a couple doesn’t have kids or remark if they announce they’re pregnant with their 7th (other than to say “Congratulations.”)


15, 21



You don’t have to lower your standards, just lower your walls.


12, 15, 21



You don’t have to be friends with people you don’t like. But you can’t decide you don’t like someone unless you get to know them. (Rather than a look or a reputation or a difference, etc.)


10



“For better or worse means no matter what life throws at us, not no matter what you do to me.” - Brenda Linn


19, 21



Train for a mini-triathlon together as a family this year.


12



Sioux Nation quote: No one heals himself by wounding another.


16



“Distraction is the death of art. But boredom is the birth place of it.” (Forgot who said this)


12, 15, 21



Follow love and kindness wherever they may take you and you’ll be fine. xoxo


13, 17, 21



Purchase book "All Are Welcome" by Alexandra Penfold to prep him for kindergarten.


5



There’s no sense in giving up yourself in order to be liked by people you don’t know (or like!) Like what you like. Love who you love. Be who you are. There’s nothing to fear.


13, 16, 18, 21



Watch The Last Lecture before school starts on a pivotal year, like middle school, high school.


11, 12, 13, 14, 15



Letting go isn’t something active. Rather, it’s something you stop doing. Stop hoping. Stop fooling yourself. Stop wishing things were different.


17, 21



Discuss difference between foods that taste good vs. foods that make you FEEL good.


12-14



People always say “Be yourself.” That’s good advice but really what does it mean? I think it’s easier to explain what it DOESN’T mean: When you’re being yourself you’re not pretending to be interested in something or someone you’re not. You’re not doing something just to please someone else (or just to tick them off.) You’re not wearing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. You’re not pretending to have fun when you’re not having fun. You’re not trying to impress anyone. You’re not trying to fade into the background. You’re not trying to change anything about yourself or someone else. I think that’s a good start. What does “being yourself” mean to you?


11-14, 18, 21



Kindness Confidence = Popular (Be kind to everyone, paying no attention to social status, age, looks, money or disability.) Be confident: Know that you are enough. You’ll never be perfect but no one else is either. When you mess up it’s not the end of the world- laugh at yourself when possible. Learn from failures. Don’t fake interest in people or things that don’t fill you up. Be who you are! People gravitate towards kindness and confidence


12



I hope you never abandon yourself to be loved or accepted by someone else. They’re not getting the real you and you’re missing out on the experience of being loved and accepted just as you are.


16,21



Promise me you’ll never intentionally hurt anyone (including yourself.) There’s no need to suffer in silence, I will help you or get you to someone who can help you no matter what, no matter when, no matter why.


13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18



Recipe for happiness that stands the test of time: Be who you are, and figure out how you are uniquely equipped to serve.


15, 21



Visit the Grand Canyon together


18-21



George Lucas’ documentaries on WWI, Russian Revolution, etc.YouTube Lucas Films.


14, 17



Write “thank you” notes, send pics of them wearing the outfit Grandma gave, etc. You get so many gifts...Be a grateful recipient.


7



Your sex life should be safe, happy, healthy and consensual. It may or may include going all the way. There’s no rush, every relationship is different. You should feel safe and so should your partner. A lot will be a mystery but you should feel safe. You should be able to trust that your partner won’t intentionally hurt you, emotionally or physically. If you don’t trust your partner to keep you safe, get out.


17



Never do two illegal things at the same time. Don’t break the law while breaking the law.


16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21



Never trust your tongue when your heart is bitter. Hush until you heal.


12, 18



Keep stuff on hand for guests. Be ready to be a good host / hostess at any moment.


16-21



Big secret to happiness: Let other people talk sh*t about you. They have a right to an opinion and you have the right to ignore it. The only standards you have to live up to are your own.


12, 14, 17, 21



I’ve been trying to retrain my brain to deal with anxiety in healthy ways. It’s SO hard when these connections were fused decades ago. BUT I REFUSE to be a party to YOU laying down those same unhealthy neurological pathways. I’ll teach you better ways to handle stress and anxiety. Exercise/ Music/ warm showers/ creativity/ rest/ journaling/ meditation... WHATEVER! I promise to Somehow teach you what I never learned.


5-10, 14



Don’t ask for anything until you’ve done what has been asked of you.


5



Begin colon cancer screening at 40. We have a family history on both sides.


21