Don't say anything out loud that you wouldn't want repeated or overheard. Don't email / text, etc. anything that you wouldn't want forwarded.


11-15



1

Keep going. Push yourself. The struggle makes it all the more worth it.


17, 21



Kitchen Commandment: She who cooks the dinner shall not clean up from dinner. I don't want to raise any of you to take housework for granted. It's hard. It's unfair and not cool to expect anyone (parent, spouse, roommate, etc. )to wait on you.


7-18



“If you want to be holy, be kind”. -Frederick Buechner


14, 19, 21



Teach car maintenance: Adding air to tires, checking oil, etc.


13-17



Sometimes it feels really good to say “no.” (Or “no thank you.” Or “$@!#% no!”)


14, 20



Healing doesn’t mean becoming the best version of yourself. It’s learning to love even the worst parts about yourself.


17, 21



Talk about how to act respectfully and be inclusive of children with disabilities and facial deformities, etc.


5-10



Sometimes rejection is God’s protection. If u worked hard and gave it your all and still missed the bus, that bus wasn’t yours. Read The Artist’s Way.


17



Plan a trip to Disney this year.


6



Discuss difference between foods that taste good vs. foods that make you FEEL good.


12-14



Numbing doesn’t work. Let it hurt, let it heal, then it lets itself go.


15,21



Start “home economics” school with them. Laundry, cleaning, cooking, how to change a diaper, comfort a baby, soothe a toddler, what's involved in caring for pets, budgeting for food, keeping track of maintenance schedules for humans, pets, cars and machines. Engage with guests, be a good host, etc. Know when and how to tell someone to GTFO of the house (racist or misogynistic speech, etc.) Every kid needs to learn the art and science of home management. Look for and point out examples in books and movies of good home science skills.


5, 8, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 21



Just love ‘em up. Be patient and kind. Be present. Listen. Play. Take care of their needs. Each one will be different and need you in different ways. That’s all, just fill them with love and security and they’ll grow up beautifully.


1-18



Ask him for Christmas present: recite Andy Weir’s “The Egg.” Bonus points for memorization! Also great idea for audition tape. )I’m assuming you’ll be in theater!) xoxo


15



Find one or two scary documentaries on the dangers of gambling. Watch together. Betting on sports is a big thing in some schools and I want to scare the $@!#% out of him about how bad gambling can screw up his life. Check online tools from gamblers anonymous.


15



Golf lessons this year. Your grandpa loved golf. He tried to teach me when he first got sick, and those are some of my best memories of him. Great way to get fresh air and exercise too.


11



Ask “What are you going to teach ME?” Let him work on something to teach.


11



Practice staying calm under pressure. The pop-up game “Perfection” is a fun way.


10, 12, 15, 17, 21



Be open to the possibility that you might be wrong.


12, 14, 17, 21



Chemistry is not the same thing as compatibility.


16, 19, 21



Screw “achievement.” Do things you enjoy, share experiences that expand your capacity for joy and compassion. It doesn’t matter if you’re any good, it just matters that you’re in your groove.


16, 21



When they confide in you or tell you something that makes them so vulnerable u don’t know what to tell them, just sat “I’m so glad you told me.” (You’re not alone, I heard you, I’m here and will stay with you until it’s resolved.) re-ticket yearly.


9



Challenge yourself every day, in one way or another. Mentally (read!) Is there any room for growth in an area you are struggling with? physically (take your pick but never take stupid risks with your safety), emotionally (allow yourself to be vulnerable. Apologize.), spiritually (pray/meditate/ fast.)


13, 17, 21



Come and go in peace.


12, 15, 21



Avoid bird seed or pet food near your home. It attracts mice, rats, ticks, etc. keep bird feeders that use seed a good distance from the house. Try liquid feeders near windows. Or use a feed tray or hulled seeds (little waste.)


20



Watch YouTube video on how to administer an Epi-pen injection. You have friends with allergies you may need to know how to do this.


11-15



Golf lessons. Grampa loved golf, if he were here he would have taught you himself.


9



When you meet people in an intimidating situation, like a job interview, etc. An easy trick is to imagine them as they were in kindergarten. (Don't talk to them like they'r 5 year-olds! But relate to them on a human level. We're all human - filled with talents and fears and insecurities. No matter how "important" or "unimportant" our station is.


16-21



Always hold the door open for the next person.


4-14