Let it go. They’re going to make really stupid choices. I drank AND smoked in high school. We all go through it. They need to be able to trust you and rely on you. They’re navigating the world and they need a safe harbor. Be that safe harbor. It’s more important than fighting over stupid behavior. Let them know you don’t approve - sure, but fighting over stupid stuff is just going to make you both bitter.


14, 15, 16, 17



This! Your energy is beautiful and precious. Don’t waste it on people who are $@!#% bent on negativity. https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRxcJWem/


16



When making decisions remember HALT: are you hungry, angry, lonely or tired? (Or ecstatic) Give yourself time to be in a good place. Ask yourself if you’re choosing something because it’s going to bring you closer to being as authentically yourself or are you trying to meet someone else’s expectations? This is not to say you won’t need to compromise and put others first (spouse/ family.) That happens a lot in marriage. No, I mean ask yourself if you’re trying to prove something or are you being true to yourself. Hope that helps.


18, 21



Stupid is as stupid does - it’s not something you “are” it’s something you do.


4, 7, 9, 11, 13, 16, 19, 21



Resist the urge to give unsolicited advice. Wait…this entire thing is unsolicited advice!


15



On grief: CS Lewis said somewhere that it isn’t just that his friend died, it’s that the part of him that only his friend could bring out would never be brought out again.


17, 21



One regret I have is how sure I was that I was in the right. Looking back I can see now that there were plenty of times when I was the a-hole. I wish I had been able to be circumspect.


14, 17, 21



Marriage tip: King sized blanket on Queen size bed.


21



Plan a trip someplace where we can see the Northern Lights.


15



Let decency be like a religion to you. Practice it …but don’t preach it.


14



Concussion testing - baseline


15



Go on a tour of the Kennedy Center. Free guided tours through Friends of the Kennedy Center.


10



Brambly Hedge series by Jill Barklem.


2-5



When it comes to conflict- what is your part in things?


15, 21



You will never have to hustle for your self-worth. You are worthy of love and respect simply because you exist. Same goes for every other human.


16



Teach them what to do if they hit an animal while driving on the road. (First find out what you’re supposed to do, THEN teach them.)


16



Don’t let some dumb-sh*t’s overconfidence get you killed.


11, 14, 17, 19, 21



Date all kinds but marry someone who loves you for who you are, with whom you feel most yourself. Someone who will encourage you to grow more into the person you want to be. (And be good at encouraging them to do same.) Never fear or stifle each other’s growth. Celebrate it. Support it. Encourage it.


21



When disciplining remember: First acknowledge the emotion, then address the behavior.


2-4, 13, 15



1

Attend a school board meeting or some sort of government meeting. Attend / participate.


13



“I don’t know what I think until I write about it.” - Joan Didion


15



Never resist a generous impulse.


9, 12, 19



Read Prefontaine.


13



Sometimes you have to put aside how you feel about a person and objectively look at how their actions show how they feel about *you.*


16



Teach your pets they can trust you. Take care of them. Treat them with tenderness. Teach them how to behave. (Unless it's a cat. You can't teach cats anything.)


15



Cut people some slack, everyone is entitled to a bad day.


17-20



I highly recommend you read The Crane Wife by CJ Houser.


15, 17, 19, 21



“You can miss a person every day and still be glad that they’re no longer in your life.” — Oprah Winfrey


19