“I need help. But I don’t know what I need help with. Could you ask me a few questions and help me figure it out?” Keep this one in your back pocket.
5, 7, 11, 13, 16, 19, 21
Get book “Talk to Me First: Everything You Need to Know to Become Your Kids'Go-To Person about Sex.” by Deborah Roffman.
7
Take advantage of all the help that’s available to you! Counselors, advisors, mentors, etc. Then pay it forward when you’re in a position to do so.
17
It’s okay to not understand things. Just be sure the only place your ignorance leads you is to education.
15, 19
Gambling is designed to be seductive- Everything about casinos and online gambling sites is about getting you to hand over your cash. It’s a scam. Don’t fall for it!
15, 18
Talk about what patterns of abuse look like. Teach them to recognize red flags like love-bombing, isolating from friends and family, controlling behavior and threats of violence and/or self-harm.
14, 16, 20, 21
Technology doesn’t remove the expectation of good behavior. Be mindful of your manners (and all of our collective humanity) when posting on social media. And no anonymous trolling. If you’re not prepared to sign your name to what you’re putting out there, that’s a good indication you shouldn’t be doing it.
13, 20
Ask him to memorize and recite William Ernest Henley poem “Invictus” as a Christmas present for me.
15
Talk about how choices become habits. Habits can become addictions. Describe how pathways are literally dug into the brain and it's very hard to change them once those paths are made.
13-16
A wise friend once told me "Don't dump grace down the drain." Respond to nudges: Speak up even if you're afraid, reach out to someone who's hurting, forgive someone (or yourself.) God is so good and so generous...accept his gifts.
15
We struggle so much when we don’t know ourselves. Are you a thinker (creative, big picture) or a doer (meticulous, task-oriented.) Both are great by the way.
16, 21
Keep difficult conversations brief. Under ten minutes then table it so everyone can process.
13, 14, 16. 19, 21
Google Taylor Swift contrast Kim Kardashion at 2024 Superbowl. Good vibes are always better than “cool.” Show up. Dog park energy. Forget trying to look cool.
15, 17, 18, 21
Mom’s scrambled eggs: Use fresh eggs. Scramble vigorously. Don’t add water or milk, just cook in copious amount of butter. Add salt and pepper.
12