I’ve been trying to retrain my brain to deal with anxiety in healthy ways. It’s SO hard when these connections were fused decades ago. BUT I REFUSE to be a party to YOU laying down those same unhealthy neurological pathways. I’ll teach you better ways to handle stress and anxiety. Exercise/ Music/ warm showers/ creativity/ rest/ journaling/ meditation... WHATEVER! I promise to Somehow teach you what I never learned.


5-10, 14



Look into YMCA “family camp” in PA.


7



Dating advice: If they like you, you’re gonna know. If they don’t, you’re gonna be confused.”


16, 21



You can’t be a good parent if you’re a miserable person. Take care of yourself. Make the changes necessary to get in a good place. Ask for help. The happier you are, the happier they will be.


1, 10, 15



Set up automatic payments so they are initiated on your end, so that you send out money to the bill/ company you’re paying instead of giving them access to take money out of your account.


20



“If the pain was deep you will have to let it go many times.” Yung Pueblo from book Lighter


15, 18, 21



Hold fast to what is good. (1 Thessalonians 5:21)


10, 15, 21



You’re going to be okay if your relationship ends. You were a whole person before them and you’ll be a whole person after. - therapy Jeff


15, 21



Consent is more than the literal


13, 14, 15, 16, 21



You will never be good enough for the wrong person. This truth is profound and one I wish I learned a lot earlier in my life. Stop tripping over yourself to please someone who doesn’t get you.


21



You may end up being a big shot, Good for you! But check yourself. The good lord wasn't above washing his friends' dirty feet so please don't feel like you're above any task that needs to be done. Enjoy your success but stay humble.


20



Curate a presentation on heartbreak. Talk about heartbreaks endured by people we know, fictional characters, historical figures, etc. Point is to normalize it, prepare them for it and teach them that they will come out the other side.


14, 20



Action is the antithesis of anxiety.


18



Not all babies are born healthy. There’s grief over that, a painful letting go of hopes and expectations, but eventually parents begin to dream different dreams for their baby. You have it within you to love deeply


21



Practice making yourself do something you don’t feel like doing. Practice and it gets easier


10, 12, 15, 18, 21



Read poem “Wild Geese” by Mary Oliver. (“...You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves...”)


17



If your car is overheating turn on the heat full blast. It draws heat off the engine.


16



Adult whining is worse than kid whining! We all have unpleasant comments to say in every day life, but do your best to keep snarky comments to yourself. Be mindful of what you're putting out there.


12-16



Curiosity is life-giving while judgement is soul-sucking. Get curious about yourself and others. Wonder why, try to understand without judging.


12, 16, 20



My favorite version of myself is when I’m not worried about what others think of me. I


11, 13, 15, 17, 21



We can disagree with people and still be respectful of them. (When what they espouse is something that hurts people, that’s where you can draw the line.)


16



Two big things. Control yourself, not others. Learn to react less.


12, 16, 19, 21



Watch awards shows (Oscars, Grammy's, Tony's, ESPY's, Image Awards and CNN Heroes awards.) Be a part of your times, appreciate others' accomplishments. Be inspired.


8-18



Your good name is the most important credential you’ll ever have. Act with integrity in all things, that ben if it means short-term pain. Build a reputation for honesty, dependability and trustworthiness.


14, 17, 20



Little trick for acne treatment: dandruff shampoo. Wash your face with Head and Shoulders and watch your skin clear up.


13-17



Key to a happy marriage: each of you must love and support the person in front of them. Not the person you married or the person you hope they will grow into. We all change and grow. Not all of it is for the better, especially our looks ha ha. We shouldn’t make our spouse feel obligated to stay the same person they were when we fell in love with them. In marriage as in business as in life: If you’re not growing you’re dying.


21



Have family game nights this winter.


9



Teach them what to do if they hit an animal while driving on the road. (First find out what you’re supposed to do, THEN teach them.)


16



Practice these skills: Love yourself Respect yourself Value yourself Enjoy yourself


4, 6, 8, 12, 15, 17, 21



Your mother and I would never want you to sacrifice the wellbeing of your own family for us. They should always be your priority. In the years ahead, make the choices that affirm that.


21