Not all babies are born healthy. There’s grief over that, a painful letting go of hopes and expectations, but eventually parents begin to dream different dreams for their baby. You have it within you to love deeply
21
Resource: the website Ask, Listen and Learn has great material about how to start a conversation about the dangers of under-age drinking. asklistenlearn.org
9
Practice “doing without” (or “going without.”). Even young kids can learn the concept. Nobody get everything they want. Sometimes it’s harder than others, but it’s not the end of the world when we have to do without something we want.
4-11
Birthday traditions: 1) Plant something every year. 2) Birthday interview on camera or voice recording.
5
"Surround yourself with people who trust and get YOU." - Josh Groban, High Point University 2018 commencement address. Note, I love that quote because it speaks to having a tribe, a close group of friends. But it's also important to surround yourself with people who challenge you, who may not agree with you or have the same perspective as you do.
14-19
On days when you wake up tired, sick or just not ready to deal with the morning, just get up and take a shower. Turn up the music. Rally!
17-21
The more books you read, the better. Carve out time without screens and read every day.
8, 10, 12, 14, 16, 21
When he comes to you and tells you he’s in trouble, stay calm. Ask “How can I help you?” Figure it out together. No matter how old he is, he needs to know you’re on his side. There will be time for lessons and consequences, etc. But first, help.
7, 12, 15, 21
I would rather deal with a big truth than a little lie. Whatever it is you’re going through we can solve it together but only if we’re both honest.
14
Turn on the closed captions on tv. Reading them is almost unconscious. Even better, set the audio to a language other than English and turn on English captions.
4-9
Watch the news together. Local and national. Today Show has both of mornings are easier than evenings.
12, 13, 14, 15
Ask them “what would it take for you to_____?” (Keep your room clean, stay on top of your homework, feel like you had more control in this situation, etc.) Instead of nagging or lecturing, just ask.
13
Things are rarely perfect, but things that are less-than-ideal aren't all bad to the same degree. Let's talk about making buckets for "not ideal but I can put up with it" and "deal-breaker." Works for all kinds of situations. Another variation of this is to grade the suckiness of a situation on a scale of 1-10. Have them decide at what point action is needed vs. just putting up with it. This one works well for hunger. Yes, you're hungry, but on a scale of 1-10, how hungry? It also works for relationships! There are plenty of things about a spouse that are less than ideal, but how many are true deal-breakers? Teach them to understand the difference.
5, 21
Beware that when you’re first exposed to a new thing: a car, a college tour, house, etc. you will feel AMAZING and totally seduced by the shiny newness. Be cool. Remember that glitters is not gold. Things don’t need to be perfect and even if the house is it doesn’t mean life will be.
15, 18, 21
Sometimes there’s nothing you can say or do to help someone feel better. In times like that, just make sure you don’t make it worse.
14, 18, 21
Listen to albums. Two of my favorites came out the very same month: Cowboy Carter by Beyoncé and The Tortured Poets Department by Taylor Swift.
12