You don’t have to be friends with people you don’t like. But you can’t decide you don’t like someone unless you get to know them. (Rather than a look or a reputation or a difference, etc.)
10
Be mindful of avoiding the “race to nowhere.” No sense in stressing over school and work. We get one life!! LIVE it! Work hard at what you love. There will be seasons of busting your butt, and that’s good. Just make sure it’s in pursuit of something you’re passionate about. And I hope you take seasons of rest, too. Time to recharge, reflect and decide what’s next for you.
14, 16, 18, 21
Be yourself. No need to pretend to like something the crowd is doing. Half of them are probably just as unenthused as you are but are afraid to say so.
12, 15
Don't let the laundry pile up. This lessons extends to pretty much every chore: Stay ahead of it and you won't get crushed by it.
17
If car breaks down, if at all possible, avoid pulling over on the highway. Get off the highway and pull to safety.
16
“I need help. But I don’t know what I need help with. Could you ask me a few questions and help me figure it out?” Keep this one in your back pocket.
5, 7, 11, 13, 16, 19, 21
Don’t have a clue? (Relationships / career / character, etc.) The solutions can be found in books. READ! Novels, biographies, history, religion, humor, politics, finance, sports, and whatever sparks your interests at the moment!) You’ll learn about the world, and you’ll learn about yourself. READ!!!! (or listen!)
12, 15, 18, 20
“Just because you think it doesn’t mean it’s true. Your brain’s a little $@!#% and likes to lie to you.” -Elyse Myers
15, 21
When you know better, do better. No one is born a fully actualized human being! We are all in the process of becoming who we wish to be.
16, 21
Be a good guest. Never arrive to a dinner or a party empty handed. Bring a gift: flowers, food, drink, etc.
18
Questions 1. How did you fail today? 2. What did you learn? 3. What do you love about yourself? 4. Name something you’re grateful for. 5. How are you in service to others? 6. Did you feel God’s presence today? 7. Are you happy in your heart? 8. What is something that scares you? 9. What do you need to feel safe and supported? 10. What’s something you like doing that makes your heart happy?
7, 8, 9, 15
Ask “Is there anything you want to get off your chest?” Confession is good for the soul! Get in the habit of being a place of support when they screw up. Then when they’re older and REALLY screw up, they know they can trust you to help.
8
If you don’t know what to do ask yourself how you want to feel. Once you have a good idea of that you can find lots of paths to get you there.
16, 21
Talk about what’s normal and what’s abnormal reactions to alcohol and drugs. Basically all kinds of feels from euphoria to paranoia to jealousy or infatuation, etc. Getting sick is normal but blacking out is not. *Anything that could interfere with breath or circulation is dangerous.
13, 15, 17
One of the most important things I can teach you is to help you learn how to deal with big feelings without resorting to destructive behavior or violence. Everyone on the planet will experience loss, disappointment, grief, heartbreak, betrayal, etc. Tools to deal with these feelings: counseling, journaling, art, music, exercise, meditation, breathing exercises, yoga, being in nature, talking with friends, joining a support group, movement like dancing or skating, singing, acting, anthropomorphic dialogue with your emotions, naming your emotions and describe how they physically feel in your body. Asking the emotion what it needs you to know.
1Infant-20
Choose to love despite the rage. See poem by Lucas Jones “ I Will Teach My Sons to be Dangerous Men.”
12, 14, 16, 19, 21
I hope you find a partner with who are your most authentic self, and who you love for who they genuinely are.
15, 21
I don’t want you to do drugs. It could hurt or $@!#% you. If you get caught doing drugs it could hurt your academic record
12, 15, 18