Remember this: “It’s not always about you.” It’s a natural tendency to take things personally- someone’s bad mood, or not paying attention to you, or not calling, etc. But most times when we see people acting shy/aloof/crabby or mean - it has nothing to do with us and everything to do with them, and what they’re experiencing. Try (a) not to take things personally and (b) to have compassion for people, who are all going through something.


12, 16, 20



Read "A Wrinkle in Time" (me too.)


10



Be willing to say “I don’t know” if you don’t know! Don’t just make stuff up.


15, 20



Turn off main water line when you leave on vacation.


21



Being well-read is better (and cheaper) than an advanced degree, especially for broader education. Stay curious and read!! Fiction, non-fiction, biographies ...


15, 18, 21



Ask “What are you going to teach ME?” Let him work on something to teach.


11



Things are rarely black and white. Most situations (and all people) are complex. A nuanced approach is necessary to understand them. You can’t learn - or love, if you’re judging.


17



Build a treehouse together


8



Shelter, water, Fire, food. (Outdoor survival priorities.)


12, 17



It’s best not to cuss but writing bad words is even worse than speaking them. Even in casual texting, etc. Always an asterisk in place of a vowel to avoid being rude.


16



Birthday traditions: 1) Plant something every year. 2) Birthday interview on camera or voice recording.


5



Two big things. Control yourself, not others. Learn to react less.


12, 16, 19, 21



Practice being embarrassed. Tell embarrassing stories. Help them learn how to deal with the sensation.


9



You don’t have to lower your standards, just lower your walls.


12, 15, 21



Practice people skills: Firm handshake, introducing yourself, being courteous when encountering / being on receiving end of someone’s rude behavior, offering your seat (never sit while someone with gray hair, pregnant belly, any sort of injury or really anyone who is older or who works harder is standing.)


10



Sometimes I think the best way to take care of them is to teach them to take care of others: Littler kids, sick or disabled, those who’ve been left out.


5-7



Choose to love despite the rage. See poem by Lucas Jones “ I Will Teach My Sons to be Dangerous Men.”


12, 14, 16, 19, 21



“If you want to be holy, be kind”. -Frederick Buechner


14, 19, 21



Rainstorms are gangrenous- avoid driving in them or being out on foot. I’ve personally known people who have died from lightening strikes (running) and falling tree limbs (in their car. The mom in drivers’ seat and child in front seat both died.)


16



Assume any email or text you send will be distributed.


12, 15



Kids (and people of all ages) need attention, affection and appreciation. It’s not all they need, but it’s a start!


11



When you’re at home in your own skin you invite people to be at home in theirs too.


14, 20



If you feel like you can’t get your act together, that you’re less mature than some others your age, I have the recipe for being a grown up: Read, travel, help those in need. READ everything you can get your hands on: books, audio books, newspapers, etc. Travel to places that are different than your experience. Keep a lookout for people (or animals, or groups or causes, etc) who are struggling. HELP those in need.


12, 14, 16, 19, 21



“You don’t emerge from $@!#% empty-handed” a friend once told me. Even the worst periods of your life will bring gifts. Be thankful for those gifts, and enjoy them.


19



Are they (we) getting enough quiet?


8, 12-14



When you feel like you’re on fire with anger or fear, if you can’t shake it, put that fire to good use.


14



Make “good trouble” as Rep. John Lewis said. Justice is won, not given.


14, 19



The problems with pornography: When you’re young and have yet formed a basis for healthy and mutually satisfying sexual relationships, your brain doesn’t know what to do with that input. It becomes part of your brain, imprinted as normal or the way sex should be. When you’re older, the brain can see something that’s outrageous and recognize it and discard it. Also it’s incredibly misogynistic, will do horrible things for the way you see women. While some is fairly harmless and totally normal, even too much of a good thing is a bad thing. Too much of a bad thing is disastrous.


11, 12, 13, 14, 15



People want to be heard. Listen to your clients, even when they're upset. Don't make excuses or anything, just let them talk. They mostly just want to be heard. Once they're calm, you can solve the problem.


21