Sit down together and write house rules on anger. We don’t hit or bite. Do we yell and slam doors? Name-call? Say “I don’t love you” ? Bad words? What’s appropriate anger and what’s unacceptable?


4-6



Start a vegetable garden.


7



Put together a PowerPoint project outlining addiction: substance, gambling, shopping, hoarding, eating, etc. Have them so the research and put it together. Discuss. Reward its completion with a fun activity or trip.


15



If there’s a ever a bird in the house, close the interior doors, open the doors to the outside and shoo it out with a broom.


18



Tube first 2 or 3 years of your life I would sing to you after bath time as I was getting you in your jammies. Two songs: Oh Shenandoah and Danny Boy. Rubbing your tiny little feet with baby lotion while singing to you is one of the happiest memories of my life.


21



I’m cool with “C”s. Do good work but don’t put too much pressure yourself.


14



Dress for energetic alignment. Screw what other people think. Your ability to live a creative, wholehearted life is inversely proportional to how much you care what people think of you. (Care what YOU think of yourself. Express yourself however you can as long as you’re not causing harm or breaking the law. Have fun. Be gentle to yourself.


13, 15, 17, 19, 21



Being numb is not the same thing as being happy.


15-18



Read Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson together.


17



Read maps.


9-14



“You don’t emerge from $@!#% empty-handed” a friend once told me. Even the worst periods of your life will bring gifts. Be thankful for those gifts, and enjoy them.


19



Just focus on shining on your own terms. Your shine is not dependent on anyone or anything else.


15



Check out Long Lake Summer Camp in NY. Theater, the arts, etc.


12, 13, 14, 15, 16



Be supportive of someone who is trying to better themselves.


16



If a girl is drunk she cannot consent. Don’t even think about hooking up when your partner is intoxicated. It’s immoral and illegal. No excuses. No exceptions. . Break this law and you will be (rightfully) charged with rape and you will get sent to prison.


15



Watch the western “1883”.


13



“How we learn to hold what hurts shapes so much of who we are. What we choose to do with our pain defines us more than most things.“ -Chani Nicholas


11, 14, 17



Open a Bank Account


8-12



Keep stuff on hand for guests. Be ready to be a good host / hostess at any moment.


16-21



1

Eat with purpose, not for it. Sometimes the purpose is fuel, sometimes celebration. Eat accordingly!


19, 21



Live a life of dignity and joy.


14, 21



Plan a trip someplace where we can see the Northern Lights.


15



Like Cindy Crawford said, "I eat anything I want … I just don't eat as much as I want." Be mindful of portions. No need to eliminate the junk food but keep it to a minimum.


17, 21



Respect people’s privacy. No snooping, eavesdropping, peeping, etc.


11



You tackled a big project and you're wondering if it will be a success. Ask yourself: "Was I fair?" Was I kind?" " Did I put in the work?" If the answer is yes, then rest well, no matter what the outcome. If the answer is no, go back and fix it.


17



If they like you you’ll know. If they don’t you’ll be confused.


15, 21



Healing happens when you give up the hope that the past could have been any different. xoxo


20



"Tough times don't last. Tough people do."


11-14



This Coda is my creation. It’s what I wanted to accomplish as a parent. What you do with it is entirely up to you. I hope you never feel like you have to do the same. Make your own way. Make yourself proud. If you’re happy, I’m happy.


21