When you’re ready to grow up, (or when you have to even though you might not be ready) … Accept your responsibilities, gifts, and challenges with an unflinching honesty, with humility and dignity. Resolve to do good and to stay true to yourself. Remember the light inside you and look for the light in others. Be kind. Have fun! Know that you’re loved… So much.
15, 18, 21
You’ll be finished with school soon. The most important thing I hope you learned is that there is still so much yet to learn.
21
You can’t selectively numb feelings. The inclination to drink, use, shop, gamble, etc. is real but it’s a lie that it will make you feel better. Numbing makes this much, much worse. So feel! The good, the bad, the scary. Talk about your feelings, write about them or create something from your feelings. This is how to process in a healthy way.
16, 20
Try silence. Just sit with it (problem/feeling/etc.) invite the problem to sit next to you and just be quiet. Five minutes every day for a week or two. Your solution will appear. Stop running and just sit with it.
16
Be mindful of the patterns we’re falling into as a family. Teach them to be mindful of their patterns too.
6, 8, 12, 18
Be a good guest. Never arrive to a dinner or a party empty handed. Bring a gift: flowers, food, drink, etc.
18
Show them a picture of a riptide and explain about swimming parallel to the shore instead of fighting it. Google Outer Banks NC green fluorescent dye in riptide.
9-15
You should feel safe with friends. They shouldn’t try to get you hurt or in trouble. Anyone who makes you feel unsafe is not your friend.
8-15
Whatever you choose to do, do it well and there will always be a demand for you. (Quoting Adam Schiff from his book “Midnight in Washington.”
16
The better you eat, the better you feel. (And look.) if you eat like sh*t you’re going to feel like sh*t. Eat your vegetables! xoxo
17, 21
Reinforce this at every opportunity: “You matter.” Kids respond to this message deeply, whether it comes from a positive source (parents/teacher/coach) or people who are only trying to exploit them.
2-18
Let them borrow your calm. Little ones (grownups too) sometimes just need to freak out a bit. Stay there. Be near. Don’t judge or even help. Just be there, and stay calm. Your loving energy is all they need as they work through it themselves. Keep them safe but other than that don’t help or advise unless they ask.
2-6, 17, 21
You’ve been entrusted with so much. Think about how much of an honor that is, and how big a responsibility.
16, 18, 21
You don’t have to look for love. You definitely don’t have to audition for it. All you need to do is be the most “you” you can be. And if you have no idea what you love or who you are…congratulations! Figuring it out will be the best part.
13, 15, 16, 17, 18, 21
Watch film “Radio” (2003) and talk about being brave. Teach them that doing what’s right takes courage.
8
Make a deal: flying lessons IF he takes dancing lessons. A man has got to know how to dance! In fact, tack on some other prerequisites like good grades and responsible behavior
16