Professor Scott Galloway’s advice: Paraphrasing his standard wedding toast:
“1. Express affection and desire. Everyone wants to be wanted. It’s healthy and it is part of what makes your relationship singular.
2. Never let your wife / girlfriend be hungry or cold. Two thirds of the really awful arguments you’ll have it’s because someone is hungry or cold. Carry blankets and protein bars. (You’re welcome.)
3. Don’t keep score. Decide what kind of friend / son / daughter / spouse / employee / human being you want to be, and practice being that. Put the scorecard away.”
Practice sitting and standing "like a statue" to teach them how to be still. Start with a goal of 5 or 10 seconds, gradually move to 2 minutes. Same thing for "silent game" to teach them how to stay quiet when they need to. Bribery helps teaching this concept!
Challenge yourself every day, in one way or another. Mentally (read!) Is there any room for growth in an area you are struggling with? physically (take your pick but never take stupid risks with your safety), emotionally (allow yourself to be vulnerable. Apologize.), spiritually (pray/meditate/ fast.)
No dating while unstable. Being responsible for someone’s heart means being prepared to treat them with respect at all times, regardless of whether they make you angry, jealous, annoyed, rejected, humiliated or heartbroken. If (a) you don’t think those things could happen or (b) think there’s a reasonable chance you’d lose your temper, then you’re not ready. And that’s okay! You’ll get there in your own time. In the meantime stay off the market.
Consider the source.
When you get information, look at where or who it’s coming from. Do you trust them? Are they an expert?
When someone criticizes you. Do they know why they’re talking about and are they taking chances themselves. Pay no attention to hecklers.
Drills (Writing pages of lines, grammar games,etc) Contractions, pronouns, commonly misspelled words, homophones like their and they’re, etc.) Drill drill drill! Written communication is so important and a simple mistake could cost big points at work.)
Inevitably you will make mistakes in your career. Someone will dress you down for it. It stings. But they are doing you a favor. Thank them for it. We all have to learn, and we can’t do that if our pride gets in the way. Be humble and accept constructive criticism.
It’s best not to cuss but writing bad words is even worse than speaking them. Even in casual texting, etc. Always an asterisk in place of a vowel to avoid being rude.
A lesson from author Tom Zumba. I hope you’ll never need it:
“There is nothing
nothing
easy about this thing called grief.
Nothing.
But I ask you to please
please
please
say yes
more often than you say no.
Say yes to you.
To possibility.
To hope.
To love.
To life.
To healing.
Please choose the light
more often than you choose the darkness.
Not that there aren't gifts in the darkness.
There are.
But it's often so much easier to find them
the gifts
in the light.
Do all you can to stay in the light.
Please remember that the person you love
so
so
so dearly
lived.
Don't forget that.
He lived.
She lived.
Here with you.
And your relationship continues.
Always.
Don't be so overwhelmed
and paralyzed
and pissed off
that he died
that she died
that you spend most of your time
focusing on their death.
Focus on your life.
Together.
Say yes as often as you can.
Choose light as often as you can.
Remember that he lived as often as you can.
Don't lose her in the details of her death.
This thing called grief is hard
hard
hard work.
But you are stronger than you think.
His book is called Permission to Mourn
There’s always a temptation to throw money at your problem. But remember there’s nothing you can buy that will make up for what is really needed. And the stuff that accumulates while you try to fix the problem just ends up being a problem on its own.
Define success for yourself. Be wary of becoming a corporate coal miner. Why bust your $@!#% for years and in school so you can bust your $@!#% for years in a soul-sucking job? Regardless of compensation that is not success in my book. How do you define success?
For me it's "Do good. Have fun. Belong to a tribe. Meaningful work with people you love.Make enough money to pay the bills and not have to worry about the basics."
Born To Dance has lessons and also does birthday parties. A dance class is a good way to get up and out of the house on Saturday mornings during the winter months. It'll be fun at this age - while he's still young enough to enjoy it without being self-conscious. Also a good way to get exercise before he's ready for organized sports.
My Nana, born around 1913, used to decry “some people think the world owes them a living.” A hundred years later I agree. Nothing worse than entitlement.