If you don’t have anything intelligent to say on a subject it’s fine (encouraged) to say nothing. Listen. Learn.


20



Give people the benefit of the doubt. Unless someone gives you a reason not to trust them, assign the best possible motive to their actions.


14-18



Let’s find an activity where you can work with your hands


11



Don’t confuse impulsive with courageous.


10, 14, 19, 21



Ask “What are you going to teach ME?” Let him work on something to teach.


11



“Tell me the story of your day.” (Works better than “how was your day?”


5, 6, 10



Resource: the website Ask, Listen and Learn has great material about how to start a conversation about the dangers of under-age drinking. asklistenlearn.org


9



Use Shutterfly or something like it to make Christmas books and birthday books each year.


Infant-21



Shampoo their hair. Nice luxurious shampoo. It’s a treat. In “5 Love Languages” speak, its an act of service and physical touch.


5, 7, 9, 12



Talk about how choices become habits. Habits can become addictions. Describe how pathways are literally dug into the brain and it's very hard to change them once those paths are made.


13-16



2

“There is no such thing as a “bad kid” - just angry, hurt, tired, scared, confused, impulsive ones expressing their feelings


7, 12



Typically, brains aren’t mature until about age 25. ADHD brains take longer


17, 21



Be willing to say “I don’t know” if you don’t know! Don’t just make stuff up.


15, 20



My mom did laundry twice a week: Tuesdays and Saturdays. She separated colors! It never piled up and we all had clean clothes. I do laundry daily, it's never done and we can't find what we need. Ask Grandma what was her secret to the science of laundry. Because it's now your job to do all your own laundry!


14



Practice "shaking off the sleepy." It's hard to wake up when your body is screaming for more sleep. If you practice, you'll get better. Get up, get in the shower and shake off the sleepy. It works!


6, 7, 13-15



I’ve stopped worrying about you being able to make your way through life. You’re not even 8 years old and I can see you’re going to be just fine. You’re smart, kind, curious, hilarious and so very lovable. I worry about your safety, I stress about your health, but I don’t worry about your character. I’m so proud of you, and I love watching you grow.


14



All behavior is communication.


2-6



You have yet to meet so many parts of yourself. All kinds of different people, places and experiences will draw those parts out of you.


15, 18, 21



When someone gets upset for seemingly no reason maybe it’s not something you did or said but something you simply triggered. Try not to get defensive. Either gently remove yourself from the situation or if you want to engage with them just ask “what did I trigger?” Or “what story are you telling yourself right now?” Then, just listen.


20



Sleep paralysis runs in the family. If you ever feel like you’re awake but you can’t move - don’t panic. It will pass in a minute. It’s just a lag time in your sleep/wake cycle.


20



Read Big Magic by Liz Gilbert. Re-read every 5-10 years.


19, 21



Pretty much everything boils down to looking for love, its many forms. Look in good (creative) places. Avoid looking for love in bad (destructive) places.


15, 17, 19, 21



Spend time with people you admire, in person and biographies, documentaries, novels and movies.


14-17, 21



“Courage is cheaper than Channel. It works better too.” - Scott Galloway


14, 15, 16, 21



Read “Raising a Screen Smart Kid” by Julianna Miner before you consider giving him a phone.


10



Give book "50 Things Every Young Lady Should Know" by Kay West.


14



“Vulnerability is not about winning or losing, it’s about showing up and being seen.” -Brene Brown Be vulnerable, that’s where the good stuff lies.


18



When you’re getting serious in a relationship here’s something to consider- To what extent is your partner is willing to put others’ needs before their own?


21



Ask him to memorize and recite William Ernest Henley poem “Invictus” as a Christmas present for me.


15



Dream big. Work hard.


18