I want you to remember that for the first three years of your life I couldn’t take a poop without you on my lap. So there will be no shirking hugs from Mom now that you’re a teenager. xoxo


14



Water park for fifth birthday


10



Bedtime often goes to sh*t in a hurry because kids are tired and parents are out of patience. Be kind. If your kids are anything like you, they’ll need extra tenderness at bedtime: cuddles, soft words, prayers. Forgiveness for the ridiculous tantrums over silly stuff. Take pity on them, their little bodies are tired and they haven’t learned how to function on empty.


1-4



White privilege doesn’t mean that your life hasn’t been hard, it means that your skin color isn’t one of the things making it harder.


14



Be mindful of avoiding the “race to nowhere.” No sense in stressing over school and work. We get one life!! LIVE it! Work hard at what you love. There will be seasons of busting your butt, and that’s good. Just make sure it’s in pursuit of something you’re passionate about. And I hope you take seasons of rest, too. Time to recharge, reflect and decide what’s next for you.


14, 16, 18, 21



Conspiracy theories... Where do I begin? They’re pure sh*t. They are fueled by fear and ignorance, usually peddled by people who have an agenda.


12, 16



People will speak or act in all kinds of unpleasant ways. Stay calm and kind.


14-21



Play up your strengths. What are your strengths? What are you really good at or love doing?


13, 17, 21



Fire drills. Practice what to do, where to go if the house is on fire. Have an escape plan.


5-10



Institute a “leave by” time instead of a curfew. That way they won’t panic / speed if something out of their control happens to make them late. “Leave Riley’s house by 10pm.”


13



A simple trick to calm your nerves: Name 5 things you can hear right now.


5-15



Never do two illegal things at the same time. Don’t break the law while breaking the law.


16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21



“In the middle of the pain you didn’t cause, the change you didn’t want, the reality you didn’t know was coming . . . your life can still be beautiful.” Lysa TerKeurst


20



Compete for the last meatball at Sunday dinner: Biggest burp, telling the best story, finished vegetables first, etc.


5



Violent thunderstorms can be dangerous. Avoid driving or being out in severe weather: car accidents, downed trees, high winds, lightning, flash floods, etc. are all potentially deadly. Don’t take your safety for granted. If the weather is severe, stay sheltered unless you absolutely positively have to be out and about.


12-14, 16, 21



Let's find little ways to practice self-control and build that muscle.


11



1

Just focus on shining on your own terms. Your shine is not dependent on anyone or anything else.


15



Be a good guest. Never arrive to a dinner or a party empty handed. Bring a gift: flowers, food, drink, etc.


18



I’d rather you be brave than perfect. Take chances. Fail, then pick yourself up and keep going.


18



Have dinner guests sign the under side of the dining room table. Let the kids’ friends sign too - or have their own version of a guestbook - the inside of a cabinet or the basement door, etc.


5, 12-14



“Bullies are scared people hiding inside scary people.” -Michelle Obama


8-12



Trust fall. Learn to be vulnerable. You can’t say the wrong thing to the right person.


12, 16, 19, 21



YouTube Hank Green “Study Hall.” It talks about navigating the mess of college and career choices, like choosing a major (and what a major is!) What interests align with which majors, etc.


12, 15, 16



“Don’t ever let anyone tell you what you see with your own eyes isn’t happening.” -English teacher Read Diary of Anne Frank together.


12



Being numb is not the same thing as being happy.


15-18



A hard day’s work is something to be proud of, not afraid of.


8, 12, 15, 20



I hope you become more of yourself with every passing year. I love you so.


21



The person who lives in the body gets to say who touches that body.


5



You remember experiences, connections. Not stuff. Don’t get too caught up in stuff.


12, 15, 17, 21