Kitchen Commandment: She who cooks the dinner shall not clean up from dinner. I don't want to raise any of you to take housework for granted. It's hard. It's unfair and not cool to expect anyone (parent, spouse, roommate, etc. )to wait on you.


7-18



Be extra careful when you’re parking or pulling out of a driveway. It’s hard to see little kids or pets.


16



You have to learn how to not start, and how to stop abruptly when you’re turned on. Doesn’t matter how much you want it, nothing happens unless she gives enthusiastic consent, and nothing continues if she were to withdraw consent for any reason or at any time. Look up the making tea analogy for consent. It’s perfect.


14, 15, 16, 17, 18



Teach to use nail clippers


7



You’ll miss me when I’m gone, but if I did my job right you won’t need me.


21



Practice being okay with someone misunderstanding you. Not everyone is going to “get” you. That’s okay.


14, 19, 21



“A recipe for being mistaken: 1. Dislike someone who's often right. 2. Never agree with someone you dislike.” ——- Paul Graham


16



Sometimes the only thing you can do is to show up. Be there.


13, 15, 17, 21



Check out the Jesuit Volunteer Corp. A short but deeply meaningful immersion into service, faith in action, selflessness and living on a lot less than you think you need.


19



Small joys are what gets you through big grief.


14, 18, 21



Enjoy your success but don’t flaunt it.


21



Typically, brains aren’t mature until about age 25. ADHD brains take longer


17, 21



Read A Mother’s Reckoning by Sue Klebold (mother of Columbine shooter.)


12



Read BIOGRAPHIES. So many interesting stories and valuable lessons. Historical figures, those close to them (those are often the real treats!) Also people from all walks of life, different industries. Artists, entrepreneurs, athletes, statesmen, etc. Bonus points for listening to the audiobook if subject narrates it.


20



Wintergreen snow sledding trip.


6



The opposite of depression is expression.


15



Send thank you acknowledgemnt for gifts received


1-21



Surround yourself with people and ideas that inspire you and captivate you. Life is too short for destructive relationships.


13, 18



To calculate military time starting at 1300, subtract 12.


15



Visit the Grand Canyon together


18-21



Spend time with people you admire, in person and biographies, documentaries, novels and movies.


14-17, 21



Quoting Sarah Bessel: “One of the best things Jen Hatmaker has taught me about raising big kids: if they get on the roller coaster of Big Emotions, my main first job is to stay on the platform. I am NOT to get in the car and ride up


12



There’s a difference between looking cool and being cool. A person who wants to look cool is trying to impress other people. A person who is actually cool is true to himself /herself. Dress how it makes YOU happy! And fun fact, it’s those people who are the most well-liked because they sort of give others permission to be themselves…and everyone wants to be seen and liked for who they really are. So if you want to be popular remember three things: Be kind. Be yourself. Don’t judge


12,15



Watch film “Radio” (2003) and talk about being brave. Teach them that doing what’s right takes courage.


8



Honesty without kindness is brutality. Kindness without honesty is manipulation. (That said, when anyone asks if that outfit makes them look fat, the answer is “you look perfect.”)


20



You always have a choice. Always.


15, 19, 21



Kids who are a little different (maybe they make funny sounds, look different, or aren’t able to talk or walk very well, etc.) Remember that just because they might be different, they are never “less than.” Their feelings matter as much as yours. They like to play as much as you. Their families love them as much as your family loves you. Include them as much as you can. You could end up making a great friend!


6



Being numb is not the same thing as being happy.


15-18



“The flower does not dream of the bee. It blossoms


15



They’re very teachable at this age. When behavior is bad, send to their room for a brief “time-out.” Then go get them by sitting and putting him/her on your lap. Talk (1-3 sentences) about why we don’t behave that way and how I expect you to behave instead. Then hugs and kisses. If the offense is really bad, introduce consequences (which have to be immediate, they wont understand missing out on something hours from now, won’t make the connection.)


3