“Racism is real, even if you aren’t a racist. White privilege is real, even if you don’t feel it. Police brutality is real, even if the cop you know is kind. Your world isn’t the world. Everything is not about you.” -Mohamed Safa
Beware that when you’re first exposed to a new thing: a car, a college tour, house, etc. you will feel AMAZING and totally seduced by the shiny newness. Be cool. Remember that glitters is not gold. Things don’t need to be perfect and even if the house is it doesn’t mean life will be.
Talk about “don’t judge a book by its cover.”
People come in all shapes, sizes, appearances. “Clean cut” is an outdated and misleading notion. Be open to who people are on the inside, they’re pretty amazing if you give the a chance.
Your great-great grandmother was a seamstress at Marshall Fields. Her husband was a firefighter in Chicago. The immigrated from County Wexford in Ireland.
Imagine hearing the apology you need to hear. Often times that really helps, even if the person never actually says it. It makes it easier to forgive and move on.
Make yourself a good hand. Don't wait to be asked, just jump in when you see a need. Wash a dish, make a bed, change a tire, help out a friend or a stranger whenever you can.
Your mother and I would never want you to sacrifice the wellbeing of your own family for us. They should always be your priority. In the years ahead, make the choices that affirm that.
I love the quote “The call towards authenticity is sacred” by Paula S. Williams
I think it means that a few things: Being called. We are called by something higher to grow and stretch, to evolve. That evolution is a journey that should be undertaken with humility, compassion and love. To impede one’s quest to be authentic, be it our own or another’s, is a grave injustice and should be avoided at all cost.
Newborn babies don’t know their tummy hurst because they have to pass gas. They don’t know how to fall asleep when they’re tired. We have to provide all that context and help them learn about themselves. And we have to be patient with them. It’s hard work being a baby!
Be on the lookout for people who are not included and reach out.
There was a girl in my 8th grade class who was pregnant. Nobody talked to her, including me. Looking back, I regret that deeply. How scared and alone she must have been. She could have used a friend. I wish I would have asked her to sit by me at lunch or talked to her about homework or something.
Always clean from clean to dirty. Wash glassware first, greasy dishes last. Sink and tub first, then toilet. Then floor. Top-to bottom is another general rule.
Tell them who they are: kind, creative, smart etc. A person of honor and integrity, a part of the divine universe.
Demonstrate for them what it means to live according to your values.
Encourage them to listen to their body, guide them on how they might best find (and align with) their truest nature.
Listen to them when they’re exploring what that might look like.
Support them when they decide.
Staying calm while under pressure or when you could scream in frustration - that is most of the battle. Sometimes the fact that you stayed calm qualifies as a win.
Get to know your body, push yourself in terms of strength and endurance. You're stronger than you think. You're growing stronger every day. Your body is amazing and healthy. Take care of it! Enjoy it! Use your amazing strength and energy to do good in the world.
Sometimes I think the best way to take care of them is to teach them to take care of others: Littler kids, sick or disabled, those who’ve been left out.