You gotta play with them. Down on the floor, at the park, in the water, in the snow. Connect through play, it will be the foundation of your relationship.


1-4



Tube first 2 or 3 years of your life I would sing to you after bath time as I was getting you in your jammies. Two songs: Oh Shenandoah and Danny Boy. Rubbing your tiny little feet with baby lotion while singing to you is one of the happiest memories of my life.


21



Give them the book Starfish by Lisa Fipps.


12, 14



Your brain seeks novelty. Try new things as long as you live. Take risks (but not safety risks!)


20



If someone doesn’t want your attention or warrant your attention, don’t give it.


15



You remember experiences, connections. Not stuff. Don’t get too caught up in stuff.


12, 15, 17, 21



A wise friend once told me that the kids will do as well as you do. You can’t be a good parent if you’re a miserable person. Do what you need to do to stay healthy and sane.


1, 5, 15, 21



“I don’t give a rat’s $@!#% how much respect u garner out in the world if you don’t show respect and love and serve those you love at home.” ____loosely quoted from Glennon Doyle’s ‘Untamed.’


14, 19



Surround yourself with people, places and spaces that feed your spirit. At the very least, avoid those that drain your spirit.


17



When you feel like you’re on fire with anger or fear, if you can’t shake it, put that fire to good use.


14



Share a few of our most embarrassing moments. Teach them it’s okay to laugh at yourself and even when you’re mortified in the moment being embarrassed isn’t fatal. (And it happens to everyone.)


11



If it makes you happy it doesn't have to make sense to anyone else.


11, 14, 20



Any thought about self-harm is like a “check engine” light going off for your brain. Seek professional help. You will recover.


12, 14, 15, 17, 19, 21



The bull-sh*t never ends. Dealing with the bull-sh*t IS your job. If you think you’ll ever reach a “post-bullsh*t stage in your life, you’re wrong.


12, 15, 19, 21



“You will encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated.” -Maya Angelou


17



Check into Brilliant.org for STEM activities.


12



Spend time with people you admire, in person and biographies, documentaries, novels and movies.


14-17, 21



To quote Harvard professor Adam Grant: “Argue like you’re right and listen like you’re wrong.”


15



Career is so important to your life satisfaction. Do what makes you happy. If you’re really at a loss for what you want to do for work, then go where you’re needed.


18, 21



Be generous in all things. That is my hope for you.


14, 18, 21



1

Bring Christmas cookies to local fire station and police station. (Annually)


7-14



Ask him to memorize and recite William Ernest Henley poem “Invictus” as a Christmas present for me.


15



You are 100% replaceable at work. You are not replaceable at home. A good work ethic is crucial but don’t drain yourself to the point that you don’t have anything left for your family and friends.


21



Ability is distributed equally across all demographics, geniuses, artists, musicians etc. are not more likely to be born in a rich community-but they are far more likely to emerge from one with their gift’s having been nurtured. Ability is evenly distributed but accessibility is not. How many lives could be saved if the brilliant surgeon never gets to college? It’s a core mission of mine to do my part to help change that so that all children can realize their dreams if they work for it. No locked gates!


12, 18, 21



A wise friend once told me "Don't dump grace down the drain." Respond to nudges: Speak up even if you're afraid, reach out to someone who's hurting, forgive someone (or yourself.) God is so good and so generous...accept his gifts.


15



Ladies, don’t waste a moment of your precious time trying to get a man’s attention. If he’s interested he will love heaven and earth to get YOUR attention. Save your energy for joy and work and learning and doing whatever floats your boat! Let him be the one to twist himself in knots.


15, 18, 20



On September 11th I was at work in Fairfax VA. News reports were saying a plane was headed to the Capitol, that the Whitehouse had been hit. In the immediate aftermath of a big event, news reports will be unreliable. Wait until the facts are in. Several of the nurses had husbands who worked at the Pentagon. One of the doctors was married to a U.S. Senator in her office on the Hill. It was surreal, but no one panicked. I remember we all burst into tears when my friend’s husband called saying he was safe. So relieved.


15, 17



Life is like the ocean: Filled with energy, beauty, scary schit, lots of interesting creatures and so much to be in awe of. We couldn’t possibly control it but we can be a part of it.


16



What problem do you want to solve in the world?


1Infant-14



Just show up. That’s all we can really control. Show up, (don’t run) and take it from there. You got this.


21