Talk about de-escalation techniques.


15



Be on the lookout for people who are not included and reach out. There was a girl in my 8th grade class who was pregnant. Nobody talked to her, including me. Looking back, I regret that deeply. How scared and alone she must have been. She could have used a friend. I wish I would have asked her to sit by me at lunch or talked to her about homework or something.


11-13



Check out the Jesuit Volunteer Corp. A short but deeply meaningful immersion into service, faith in action, selflessness and living on a lot less than you think you need.


19



Give him a copy of The Secret Lives of Great Composers by Elizabeth Lunday.


14



“Courage is cheaper than Channel. It works better too.” - Scott Galloway


14, 15, 16, 21



Getting your drivers license will depend not only on government requirements (age, passing tests, etc.) but also maturity and trustworthiness.


14



Never say anything behind someone's back that you wouldn't say to their face.


11, 14, 18



Book: “victory. Stand!” By Tommie Smith


14



Something to remember on those days when the kids are making you nuts and you’re at the end of your parenting rope: “They love you no matter what. They always want to be close to you. Even when you’re screwing up, they still think you’re amazing. They want to be just like you when they grow up. You are their hero. You may be their mom, but they’re constantly reminding you of your worth.”


2



Watch Abby Wambach's 2018 Barnard commencement address together.


16



You don’t have to lower your standards, just lower your walls.


12, 15, 21



If someone doesn’t want your attention or warrant your attention, don’t give it.


15



If you get comfortable telling little lies it will be easier to tell big lies. Tell the truth, even on small matters. (Except if your friends ask if they look fat. Then it’s okay to lie!)


13, 18, 21



I don’t remember much about my grandmother (Marie) but I recall her hands. Her ring fingers had a funny curve to them, bowed in a little at the top. My ring fingers do the same thing. I think of her every time I notice it.


19



None of us should ever have to apologize for being who we are.


10, 14, 21



Family trip to a NASCAR race..


6



Philippians 4: 11-13


12



Life is hard. But it's not so hard you can't figure it out. You're going to be fine. xoxo


11-21



Never allow anyone to tell you who you are.


17



Re-Read Tim Russert's Big Russ and Me.


14



Bedtime often goes to sh*t in a hurry because kids are tired and parents are out of patience. Be kind. If your kids are anything like you, they’ll need extra tenderness at bedtime: cuddles, soft words, prayers. Forgiveness for the ridiculous tantrums over silly stuff. Take pity on them, their little bodies are tired and they haven’t learned how to function on empty.


1-4



Read A Mother’s Reckoning by Sue Klebold (mother of Columbine shooter.)


12



Before a play date or sleepover ask the parent “Are there any unlocked guns in the house?”


6-9



Grandpa used to keep a hundred dollar bill stashed discreetly in his wallet “for emergencies.”


17



Don't say anything out loud that you wouldn't want repeated or overheard. Don't email / text, etc. anything that you wouldn't want forwarded.


11-15



That little space between stimulus and response...that’s all the control we get. That space is ours to do with. That space is fertile ground for addiction, for faith, for peace or pain. When the sh*t hits the fan, resist the urge to run away from the pain. Trying to dull it will only make it grow deeper roots.


19



Rock those babies to sleep as often as you can.


0, 1, 2



Let it go. They’re going to make really stupid choices. I drank AND smoked in high school. We all go through it. They need to be able to trust you and rely on you. They’re navigating the world and they need a safe harbor. Be that safe harbor. It’s more important than fighting over stupid behavior. Let them know you don’t approve - sure, but fighting over stupid stuff is just going to make you both bitter.


14, 15, 16, 17



It’s okay to take a beat, a pause before you answer: “Hold on, let me think about how this is going to work...” I’ve seen a lot of mistakes or loss of confidence in an employee because they just blurted out a guess or starting off in the wrong direction only to have to go back- just because the plan hadn’t been thought through. It only takes a minute.


15, 18, 20