You are always responsible for how you act, no matter what you’re feeling. (Or whether you’re drunk or in any way impaired.)
Hammer this point home for the next 10 years!
What does it mean to grow up? Sacrifice- When you put someone else’s needs before your own. Responsibility- When you can be counted on to do what’s right and also to do what has to be done. Trustworthiness- You keep your word.Sincerity - You are true to yourself and don’t pretend in order to fit in. It’s about choices and actions and deciding what you value and then building a life around those values.
Check out the Jesuit Volunteer Corp. A short but deeply meaningful immersion into service, faith in action, selflessness and living on a lot less than you think you need.
Things are rarely black and white. Most situations (and all people) are complex. A nuanced approach is necessary to understand them. You can’t learn - or love, if you’re judging.
If you feel like you can’t get your act together, that you’re less mature than some others your age, I have the recipe for being a grown up: Read, travel, help those in need.
READ everything you can get your hands on: books, audio books, newspapers, etc. Travel to places that are different than your experience. Keep a lookout for people (or animals, or groups or causes, etc) who are struggling. HELP those in need.
Challenge yourself to excel at something. You’ll be astonished how good you can get by practicing consistently.
There’s nothing magical about high school quarterbacks or drummers. Girls like boys who have something going on.
Be appreciative of people’s time. Send thank you notes after interviewing and applying for jobs, scholarships, etc. even if you don’t get picked.
It’s common courtesy and it’s a good way to make a good impression for next time.
No matter how smart you are or how much you know, you still don’t know everything. ALWAYS be willing to learn and to change your position when faced with new information or perspective.
I’m parenting as in most things, staying calm is more than half the battle. Practice keeping your cool in all situations. No yelling blaming freaking out or meanness. Calm rules the day.
Newborn babies don’t know their tummy hurst because they have to pass gas. They don’t know how to fall asleep when they’re tired. We have to provide all that context and help them learn about themselves. And we have to be patient with them. It’s hard work being a baby!
Talk about how choices become habits. Habits can become addictions. Describe how pathways are literally dug into the brain and it's very hard to change them once those paths are made.