Just because someone is an a-hole it doesn’t mean they’re wrong.


17, 21



Best take on parenting: “My kid is never gonna not feel safe with me.”


1, 5, 10, 15



People will speak or act in all kinds of unpleasant ways. Stay calm and kind.


14-21



An album is like a book, meant to be taken as a whole. It tells a story, has its own vibe. Let’s listen to an album together every week.


12



Zootopia is a good movie to illustrate what a bully is and how we should stand up to them when they are hurting or taunting other kids.


5-8



I just want to to know that I didn’t know what the $@!#% I was doing. It’s a miracle you turned out so beautifully! Just know you don’t have to have it all figured out. You’re going to have a wonderful life. xoxo - Mom


21



Explain what “On my honor” means.


8



Remember that your tend to act like/ think like the people you hang around most. Choose your friends (and your spouse) wisely.


10, 14, 21



Don’t use a bad word when you can use a good word.


10



“It’s not your job to make people love you. It’s your job to show people who you are and allow them the opportunity to love you, if they want to. If they don’t, please just let them walk away. They were probably going to walk away anyway, they were just sticking around to see if you’d beg a little bit. Don’t even give them that. Let them go. You’re not a shape shifter. You’re not going to turn into the version of yourself that you think would be more lovable by the person you are trying to be loved by. That’s not love, that’s exhausting.” -Elyse Myers, one of my favorite Tiktokers. You deserve to be loved for who you genuinely are. I wish I’d read this when I was young. Would’ve saved me years of pain and frustration.


16-21



When they confide in you or tell you something that makes them so vulnerable u don’t know what to tell them, just sat “I’m so glad you told me.” (You’re not alone, I heard you, I’m here and will stay with you until it’s resolved.) re-ticket yearly.


9



Always have a 5 year plan. Be thinking of goals you want to work towards, however big or small. What inspires you? What drives you? What do you want to accomplish or cure or solve?


15, 17, 21



Read “Raising a Screen Smart Kid” by Julianna Miner before you consider giving him a phone.


10



Be generous in all things. That is my hope for you.


14, 18, 21



Replace “but” with “and.” “I love you but...” Becomes “I love you and that’s why...” etc.


9



“You don’t get what you deserve. You get what you negotiate.” - name escapes me


15, 19, 21



You will come to rely on whatever you choose to help you feel better. You may even become addicted. So choose carefully. Rely on creative, positive, spirit-affirming practices to replenish yourself. Don’t fall in to the trap of alcohol/ food/gambling/smoking/sex/shopping, etc. to numb your pain or avoid dealing with difficulties. ________EVERYONE feels stress, anxiety, loss, despair, frustration and a while bunch of crappy feelings at some time or another. It’s okay to feel those things. But how you choose to DEAL with those feelings will determine a great deal in how happy your life will be.


12, 14, 16, 17, 21



Know the difference between an inconvenience and a tragedy. Hint: If it can be fixed with money or effort, it’s probably not a tragedy.


15, 20



Before speaking (or texting) ask yourself three questions: Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary? If not all three, don’t speak. (PS “kind” isn’t the same as good news. You can deliver bad news with kindness.)


11, 14, 20



Kindness + Confidence = secret to success and “popularity.”


10, 12, 13, 14, 15, 17, 18, 21



Watch Abby Wambach's 2018 Barnard commencement address together.


16



Listen to records, a whole album at a time. 2 or 3 in a row. Bring friends, eat, drink, hangout, be goofy, dance, etc.


14-18



Sometimes you can be so angry you don’t know what to do with yourself. It’s like being forced to keep your hand on a hot stove, trying to get through one minute at a time, one even one breath at a time. But there’s no need to white-knuckle it. The rage you feel is demanding to be acknowledged and validated. It needs to be processed, not ignored, stuffed down inside. A short list of some outlets for rage that’s begging to be heard are: art, music, physical activity, time in nature, anything creative or expressive. Baking, writing, improv, storytelling, stand up. Maybe try challenging yourself to do something difficult, something doable but you would have never thought you could do, like run a marathon, etc. Literally talk to the rage. Name it. Is it male or female? Young or old? Is it human or animal or alien, etc? Giving Rage a name, say for example Helen. Helen is a straight-up terrifying 8th grader. She has a few things she’d like to unload about. Dialog it in your head. And when you’ve heard her out, Helen will leave peacefully, if not painlessly. What do you do with yourself when the rage is gone? Give yourself permission to start over. Always remember I love you. xoxo


14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 21



Conflict resolution tip: Are we talking about how we got here, or how we get out of here? Because those are two entirely different conversations.


14, 16, 20



When they’re upset just ask what they need: space, distraction, or talk about it.


12



Relationship advice: Is she interesting? You’ll spend more time with her than anyone in your life. Does she make you laugh? Will she make a good mom? Life is long. These are the things that matter.” -Paraphrased quote from Barack Obama


21



We’re all just so delicate. It’s just our nature. Treat others (and yourself) accordingly. Even/ especially the ones that seem to be tough as nails or sharp as wire. Try not to lose sight of that.


13, 16, 20



If you have to pretend to be someone else to get or keep a relationship or job, etc. then that relationship/job is not for you!


15, 17, 21



Venting is crucial but not always appropriate. Make sure you’re in the right place (no chance whatsoever of being overheard), the right time (take care of business first) and that the person you’re unloading on has the mental bandwidth to listen to you vent your emotions. Avoid interrupting if they’re busy, or not in a good headspace. You’ll know this because you asked.


14, 17, 21