For parties, collect cell phones and put them in a basket. "Parent calls only. Enjoy the people here! They're pretty awesome!"


12



Are they (we) getting enough quiet?


8, 12-14



Build something beautiful.


13, 21



Respect people’s boundaries / quirks. Someone who “doesn’t fly” may have fear of enclosed spaces due to anxiety or past trauma. Someone who doesn’t drink may have had a parent who was an abusive alcoholic. Don’t laugh, question or prod. If they want to talk about it, fine. Otherwise just accept their boundaries.


15, 21



Most times there isn’t a “right decision.” You make a decision and then it’s up to you to *make* it right.


12, 16, 19, 21



In marriage there will be times or occasions when one of you will be “pilot” and the other “copilot” (depending on skills, abilities, circumstances, etc.) Both pilot and copilot are good! But never be a “passenger” in a relationship.


21



Create tech-free zones and times.


10, 11, 12, 13, 19, 21



Book recommendation: “Star Fish” by Lisa Fipps.


11



Use Shutterfly or something like it to make Christmas books and birthday books each year.


Infant-21



No bragging. Don’t toot your own horn.


11, 15, 21



“For better or worse means no matter what life throws at us, not no matter what you do to me.” - Brenda Linn


19, 21



If you don’t know what to do ask yourself how you want to feel. Once you have a good idea of that you can find lots of paths to get you there.


16, 21



The Buddhists say “life is suffering.” I think struggle might be a better word. Struggle is unavoidable, and it would do us good to stop expecting otherwise. And yes, everybody experiences pain and loss, etc. but I don’t believe we should expect our lives to be full of suffering.


17, 21



Curate a presentation on heartbreak. Talk about heartbreaks endured by people we know, fictional characters, historical figures, etc. Point is to normalize it, prepare them for it and teach them that they will come out the other side.


14, 20



Be a good guest. Never arrive to a dinner or a party empty handed. Bring a gift: flowers, food, drink, etc.


18



Mindset for a breakup: “I’d rather adjust to your absence than be continually frustrated by your presence.” Can work with romantic partners, jobs, habits...anything you’re hanging on to that you know you should let go of.


19



Be yourself. No need to pretend to like something the crowd is doing. Half of them are probably just as unenthused as you are but are afraid to say so.


12, 15



We do what we do and feel how we feel because we think what we think. Our thoughts are so powerful. Let’s take each one captive today and be sure they’re the kind of thoughts we want guiding and influencing the way we live our lives.” -Lysa TerKeurst


14



Listen to The Moth (storytelling) together.


15



Today is not the day to lose your sh*t. Deep breaths, cold water, do your hair. You’re gonna be just fine.


1-21



Avoid bird seed or pet food near your home. It attracts mice, rats, ticks, etc. keep bird feeders that use seed a good distance from the house. Try liquid feeders near windows. Or use a feed tray or hulled seeds (little waste.)


20



This Coda is my creation. It’s what I wanted to accomplish as a parent. What you do with it is entirely up to you. I hope you never feel like you have to do the same. Make your own way. Make yourself proud. If you’re happy, I’m happy.


21



Educate yourself. You can't solve a problem if you don't understand it.


14-21



If you have a goal, just dive in. It's okay if you mess up or fail. Start over, get help... but start.


13, 18, 21



Cut people some slack, everyone is entitled to a bad day.


17-20



Don’t Just “go along for the ride” in your relationships. Be clear about your intentions and act accordingly. It’s part of being a man. A GOOD man. Sometimes you just need to have a talk and make sure you’re both on the same page. It won’t $@!#% you!


16, 21



Sometimes the only thing you can do is to show up. Be there.


13, 15, 17, 21



Emotional pain is just like physical wound- you can choose to ignore it but it will only fester. Address the pain. Literally talk to it, and listen to it- it’s got so much to say.


11, 13, 15, 16, 17, 19, 21



You can’t selectively numb feelings. The inclination to drink, use, shop, gamble, etc. is real but it’s a lie that it will make you feel better. Numbing makes this much, much worse. So feel! The good, the bad, the scary. Talk about your feelings, write about them or create something from your feelings. This is how to process in a healthy way.


16, 20