To avoid miscommunication and misplaced expectations, tell your partner what you need from them. But if what you need is for them to be a different person, that’s not fair to them or to you. Let them go and set about finding the right person.
I think the term “find myself” simply means figuring out how much of what you do/think/want/believe/care about/ feel is there because some parents, siblings, family — or institutions — or ad campaigns — or political party, or whatever put it there and fed it, vs. how much ch of all that you present to the world and to yourself, is genuine…The good, the bad, and the ugly? (Go find yourself! Tell the rest of us to F off!) xoxo
Adopting a “do it right now” mentality has done wonders for my self-discipline. Something on the floor? Grab it right now. Thinking about cooking later? Cook right now. Laundry finished? Put them up right now. Home from a trip? Unpack right then. It’s the small things.
Jump in and help where help is needed. Don’t wait to be asked. Whether it’s clearing dishes at home or friend’s house or tasks at work. It could be something big like solves problem or little, putting paper in the copy machine at work.
We can learn, we can evolve. Let yourself be moved by the spirit. More beauty, more service, more humanity, deeper (or questioned) faith, more love. Always more love. That’s the best I can hope for: that you live a life full of love.
Teach them about Oliver Cromwell’s rule: “I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible that you may be mistaken.”
Leave room for your mind to be changed by new evidence or perspective.
You are 100% replaceable at work. You are not replaceable at home. A good work ethic is crucial but don’t drain yourself to the point that you don’t have anything left for your family and friends.
Practice road-rage roll playing. People are NUTS! It's hard to imagine how you'll react when someone gets aggressive with you. Let's practice staying calm when someone is shouting and in your face.
“It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to grieve. Because you can also live your life, and love your life, and be happy too.” Excellent advice from 9/11 survivor.
Learn about current trends in social media. Figure out where you draw boundaries, what platforms are allowed and not. Teach them how to stay safe, be positive and kind and always respectful.
Listen to books of love letters. I forget the title but one of the Bush twins wrote a book about her grandparents (George and Barbara). Stories about real love, real life. Fiction is great too but having a real world examples of happy partnerships is gold.
Emotional pain is just like physical wound- you can choose to ignore it but it will only fester. Address the pain. Literally talk to it, and listen to it- it’s got so much to say.
Ditch the serving bowls, plates, tablecloth and utensils. Cover middle of table in tinfoil for the food. Give each kid a tinfoil placemat in lieu of a plate. Let them eat with their fingers. (Works great with spaghetti, chicken, ribs, shrimp, etc. Try it with ice-cream and cake for a birthday party!
Resentment is a sign you are giving too much and are in need of replenishment. It’s a good example of how even the “negative” emotions are on your side, interpreting your experience in the world.