Talk about how choices become habits. Habits can become addictions. Describe how pathways are literally dug into the brain and it's very hard to change them once those paths are made.
13-16
My mom used to proudly describe herself as an “Irish Catholic Democrat.” I think my dad voted for Reagan once but other than that we’re all pretty liberal.
18
Date all kinds but marry someone who loves you for who you are, with whom you feel most yourself. Someone who will encourage you to grow more into the person you want to be. (And be good at encouraging them to do same.) Never fear or stifle each other’s growth. Celebrate it. Support it. Encourage it.
21
Porn: I wish I could keep you away from it entirely but at least I will prepare you. It’s normal to be curious, etc. but like anything else, it can get to be too much and can be very harmful, especially to a very young person. It can disrupt your healthy sexuality, ruin your relationships and even your career (no porn at work!) Also keep in mind it is a business designed to make money, not to be realistic. That's not the way sex looks. Also the women are NOT enjoying themselves. So try to avoid it, but at least keep it to a minimum!
11-14
Help him write a letter to someone in power if he has a question or concern about something he sees going on in the world.
7-11
“Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.” - Eleanor Roosevelt
13, 19
There IS such a thing as coming on too strong. Err on the side of leaving them wanting more.
15, 18, 21
Work towards your goal. If you screw-up, fix it. The worst thing you could do is give up just because you made a mistake. Nobody’s perfect. Keep going!
14, 19
True masculinity is vulnerable, compassionate and confident. Vulnerability takes courage. Kindness/compassion takes strength. Confidence: when you’re not really interested in what others think about you. It’s a natural byproduct of living in line with your own values and priorities.
11, 14, 16, 19, 21
Talk about how choices become habits. Habits can become addictions. Describe how pathways are literally dug into the brain and it's very hard to change them once those paths are made.
13-16
Procrastinating is an Olympic sport for those of us with ADHD. Talk about ways to get “unstuck.” 1. Change your body - move to a different room or take a walk. 2. If you can’t move your body, move your focus. 3. Ask your brain how it’s trying to help you by paralyzing you. 4. Take deep breaths and let go of the shame and self-doubt you feel for getting stuck.
8, 9, 10, 14, 21
There is so much darkness in the world - keep pushing back against it every way you can. Be a force for good.
14, 16, 21
You may lose a relationship but you keep the love. It becomes a part of you. It changes you for the better.
15, 19, 21
Get book “Talk to Me First: Everything You Need to Know to Become Your Kids'Go-To Person about Sex.” by Deborah Roffman.
7
There’s one thing I’ve noticed that makes the difference between an adult and someone who is over 18: That person’s proclivity for reading. Books make you smarter, yes but they also make you kinder, funnier, more empathetic and more tolerant of opposing viewpoints. Travel has a similar effect but is a lot more expensive! If you want to be a genuine grownup, read (or listen to) everything you can get your hands on.
10, 14, 16, 20
Team them about all the good stuff in life
5-10
Family & Home
Character, Education & Self-Reliance
Sports, Health, Safety & Appearance
Arts, Literature & Self Expression
Science, Technology, Skills & General Knowledge
Fun, Adventure & Travel
Faith & Philosophy
Finances
Emotional Development & Mental Health
Nature, Animals & the Environment
Social Justice, Civics & Humanitarianism
Relationships & Career
What does it mean to grow up? Sacrifice- When you put someone else’s needs before your own. Responsibility- When you can be counted on to do what’s right and also to do what has to be done. Trustworthiness- You keep your word.Sincerity - You are true to yourself and don’t pretend in order to fit in. It’s about choices and actions and deciding what you value and then building a life around those values.
18
Hand out tulip bulbs (or some sort of bulbs) at my funeral and ask people to plant a few in their yard. But NOT daffodils. I hate daffodils. And lilies, hate ‘em.) So tulips then.
21
Keep stories about younger years to tell them later: You used to call yellow “lellow” etc. Ten years from now you think you’ll remember this stuff but you won’t.
2