Behind every behavior is a need.


2, 3, 4, 13, 14



Paint rocks with pictures or kind messages and find public places to leave them where they can hide in plain site. See RockOurWorldArt.


8-11



Teach them about Oliver Cromwell’s rule: “I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible that you may be mistaken.” Leave room for your mind to be changed by new evidence or perspective.


14



ADHD hack for studying or projects- Leave yourself notes about where you left off.


13, 21



Kitchen Commandment: She who cooks the dinner shall not clean up from dinner. I don't want to raise any of you to take housework for granted. It's hard. It's unfair and not cool to expect anyone (parent, spouse, roommate, etc. )to wait on you.


7-18



Never make someone feel bad for liking something. Not your kids, your friends or colleagues. Joy is a beautiful thing. Cherish it in yourself and in others.


8, 9, 12



Remember this: “It’s not always about you.” It’s a natural tendency to take things personally- someone’s bad mood, or not paying attention to you, or not calling, etc. But most times when we see people acting shy/aloof/crabby or mean - it has nothing to do with us and everything to do with them, and what they’re experiencing. Try (a) not to take things personally and (b) to have compassion for people, who are all going through something.


12, 16, 20



Doing something you don’t want to do just to look cool is the opposite of cool.


9, 11, 14, 15, 19, 21



Creepy is as creepy does - it’s not something you “are” it’s something you do. If you don’t want to be a creep then don’t f*cking act like one. People have a right to live their lives without being intruded upon. Don’t lurk, if you want to get to know someone tell them. Invite them to do something together or just hang out. If they’re not interested then drop it. You can ask again only if they have clearly signaled they changed their mind. (Which is more likely to happen if you respect their boundaries.)


13, 16, 19, 21



End of August by Robert Frost is one of my favorite poems.


20



Tell them who they are: kind, creative, smart etc. A person of honor and integrity, a part of the divine universe. Demonstrate for them what it means to live according to your values. Encourage them to listen to their body, guide them on how they might best find (and align with) their truest nature. Listen to them when they’re exploring what that might look like. Support them when they decide.


1, 2, 5, 7, 12, 16, 18, 21



There’s one thing I’ve noticed that makes the difference between an adult and someone who is over 18: That person’s proclivity for reading. Books make you smarter, yes but they also make you kinder, funnier, more empathetic and more tolerant of opposing viewpoints. Travel has a similar effect but is a lot more expensive! If you want to be a genuine grownup, read (or listen to) everything you can get your hands on.


10, 14, 16, 20



Never say anything behind someone's back that you wouldn't say to their face.


11, 14, 18



Read The Invisible Boy by Trudy Ludwig.


4



Sit down together and write house rules on anger. We don’t hit or bite. Do we yell and slam doors? Name-call? Say “I don’t love you” ? Bad words? What’s appropriate anger and what’s unacceptable?


4-6



Don’t have a clue? (Relationships / career / character, etc.) The solutions can be found in books. READ! Novels, biographies, history, religion, humor, politics, finance, sports, and whatever sparks your interests at the moment!) You’ll learn about the world, and you’ll learn about yourself. READ!!!! (or listen!)


12, 15, 18, 20



“When happy, be kind. When sad, be kind. When ever…be kind.” - Cory Booker


9, 12, 15, 19, 21



Cut people some slack, everyone is entitled to a bad day.


17-20



Define success for yourself. Be wary of becoming a corporate coal miner. Why bust your $@!#% for years and in school so you can bust your $@!#% for years in a soul-sucking job? Regardless of compensation that is not success in my book. How do you define success? For me it's "Do good. Have fun. Belong to a tribe. Meaningful work with people you love.Make enough money to pay the bills and not have to worry about the basics."


17



Plan a neighborhood "Winter Olympics" for snow days. Create indoor and outdoor events.


8



“For better or worse means no matter what life throws at us, not no matter what you do to me.” - Brenda Linn


19, 21



If you have to pretend to be someone else to get or keep a relationship or job, etc. then that relationship/job is not for you!


15, 17, 21



Practice these skills: Love yourself Respect yourself Value yourself Enjoy yourself


4, 6, 8, 12, 15, 17, 21



So what you can. If you’re overwhelmed or depressed, and I can’t get it together to brush your teeth, rinse with water. Tomorrow, rinse with mouthwash. In a few days, brush without bothering to put toothpaste on the brush. This is a pretty extreme example but u get the picture. If you can’t do a load of laundry, just pick up the clothes into a pile. Tomorrow separate the pile. If you can’t face doing a full leg day at the gym, do one rep. Just do what you can, and eventually you will get up to speed. Give yourself grace, my love.


15, 17, 21



Read up about the National Parks. Pick one to plan a trip to.


9



May you make yourself proud every day. That’s my wish for you. (I will always be proud of you.) xoxo


9, 14, 21



Review basic grammar mistakes: Their, they’re and there. “It’s” and “its” “a lot”, etc.


10



Never take friendships for granted. Show up. Reach out. Be there when they need you. Friends are gifts; tend to those relationships with love.


15, 20



Life is hard. But it's not so hard you can't figure it out. You're going to be fine. xoxo


11-21