“Beer muscles” is when guys gain a sense of indestructibility, an exaggerated sense of their own strength. Fights and aggressive behavior ensues.


15



Never give unsolicited advice. Instead ask “How can I best support you?”


14, 20



Be on the lookout for people who are not included and reach out. There was a girl in my 8th grade class who was pregnant. Nobody talked to her, including me. Looking back, I regret that deeply. How scared and alone she must have been. She could have used a friend. I wish I would have asked her to sit by me at lunch or talked to her about homework or something.


11-13



101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think by Brianna Wiest. Listen to it yearly!


16, 17, 18, 19, 21



Model good nutrition and fitness routine.


4



Questions 1. How did you fail today? 2. What did you learn? 3. What do you love about yourself? 4. Name something you’re grateful for. 5. How are you in service to others? 6. Did you feel God’s presence today? 7. Are you happy in your heart? 8. What is something that scares you? 9. What do you need to feel safe and supported? 10. What’s something you like doing that makes your heart happy?


7, 8, 9, 15



Start a tradition of asking them to memorize and recite a poem or famous speech for a gift for Mother’s Day, Christmas, etc. Start small with the little ones, expand as they get older.


8



“When little people get overwhelmed by big feelings it’s our job to share our calm, not join their chaos.” L.R. Knost


1, 2, 3, 4, 10



What problem do you want to solve in the world?


1Infant-14



Look for answers where truth, laughter, kindness, beauty, compassion and love are found. (Not in outward appearances or illusions of perfection. Not in cynicism, apathy or destructiveness.)


10, 13, 16, 19, 21



If you’re ever in a situation where you’re worried you might need people to believe you in the future, take contemporaneous notes. Write or record what happened, how you responded. Focus on the facts but don’t ignore your thoughts or feelings, include them in your notes. Date and sign it. Keep it safe.


14, 17, 19, 21



Talk about the difference between not feeling comfortable and not feeling safe.


7, 11, 14, 19. 21



Read up on the adolescent brain.


11, 13



Keep porn to a minimum. Never at school or work. It's normal to be curious but it's really not a healthy representation of sex. Porn is a business. It's designed to get you off, not to be realistic or educational. That's not the way sex looks or how you're expected to behave. Try O.school instead.


15



Kindness is magic.


11, 15, 21



“Never let anyone tell you who you are. SHOW them who you are.” - Kamala Harris


12, 13, 17, 21



My Nana, born around 1913, used to decry “some people think the world owes them a living.” A hundred years later I agree. Nothing worse than entitlement.


13, 15, 21



Buy life insurance when you're young.


21



Go on a cruise


12-15



When you apologize don’t offer excuses just acknowledge your mistake, apologize for the consequences, and assure them it won’t happen again.


12, 16, 21



A friend of mine lost her son in a horrible accident. She wrote “I don’t believe God caused this but I do believe he can redeem it.” That has stayed with me for years. God doesn’t cause suffering... He showers those who suffer with his grace.


18



Wintergreen snow sledding trip.


6



Remember when you’re faced with bullies, jerks and people who say bad things , follow advice from the Obama's: "When they go low we go high."


1Infant-14



Plants eat sunlight. Eat mostly plants.


14, 17, 21



Read the Hobbit aloud with him. Afterward, encourage him to read The Lord of the Rings by himself.


9



Talk about de-escalation techniques.


15



Major regret: focusing too much on being liked (or loved.) You can’t *make* anyone love you. Some people just won’t like you… that’s okay. Make yourself proud. Do YOUR thing. Spend time on what matters to you.


14, 21



Devotion is revealed by behavior, not intention.


15, 17, 21



When disciplining remember: First acknowledge the emotion, then address the behavior.


2-4, 13, 15



1

Sometimes big stuff happens. Big good, big bad, big change. It will take some time to adjust. Maybe a month, a season, a semester or maybe a year or longer. Gear up. Psych yourself up for a difficult day/month/year. You can do this. Stay present, don’t get ahead of yourself or get bogged down in what’s done. “What if?” and “if-only’s” are not your friends. Be good to yourself and be good to others. Rest, nourish, create, have fun and keep the faith.


15, 21