If you’re anything like the rest of your family you will have a lot of opinions -and that’s OK! Just remember a couple of things: First: you have a right to your opinion but you do not have a right to your own facts. facts matter. seek the truth even if i it means you are proven wrong. And second, with regard to opinions ...it’s better to not express them so much if you can help it! You may be the first in the family to get this concept and put it into practice!
13-15
I did my best to guide you, but I’m sure there are many areas where my take is just not aligned with yours. That’s okay! Bunny please don’t feel any obligation to believe what I believe or take any advice, or continue any tradition mentioned in this Coda.
21
When driving in the car with your kids, ask them to count motorcycles, cyclists, pedestrians. Prize to the highest count! This will train them to be on the lookout for them.
10
College: you’re gonna do great! You’re also probably gonna want to quit at some point during your first year. Totally normal. If you decide college isn’t for you or now isn’t the right time, okay. But give it a year if you can. You’ll thank yourself later.
17
Emotional pain is just like physical wound- you can choose to ignore it but it will only fester. Address the pain. Literally talk to it, and listen to it- it’s got so much to say.
11, 13, 15, 16, 17, 19, 21
Spend time with people you admire, in person and biographies, documentaries, novels and movies.
14-17, 21
Thomas Jefferson’s Ten Rules of Conduct. This makes a good exercise for penmanship or for writing “lines” as instructional punishment.
11
“Distraction is the death of art. But boredom is the birth place of it.” (Forgot who said this)
12, 15, 21
When it comes to judging your behavior at school/ sports/ work, ask: Was I fair? Was I kind? Did I put in the work? If the answers are all “Yes,” then rest well. If an answer is “No,” then fix it.
16
To paraphrase Chris Rock, “You don’t get points for NOT beating your wife.” Meaning, you’re EXPECTED to do the right thing. So do the right thing, without any expectation of praise.
14, 18
Misquoting someone here: “It’s not about getting everything you want, it’s about giving everything you have.” Stuff will never satisfy. Pouring yourself into something heart and soul will.
16, 21
People may have all kinds of different motives for doing what they do, saying what they say. To “give someone the benefit of the doubt” means that you consider what the best possible reason they may have for doing what they did and assume that was the motive. If someone has earned your trust, even if it’s that they’ve done nothing to break your trust, give them the benefit of the doubt.
11-15
People who have something to prove are dangerous to themselves and others. We are all worthy of love. Remember that.
11, 13, 17, 19, 21
Read BIOGRAPHIES. So many interesting stories and valuable lessons. Historical figures, those close to them (those are often the real treats!) Also people from all walks of life, different industries. Artists, entrepreneurs, athletes, statesmen, etc. Bonus points for listening to the audiobook if subject narrates it.
20
“It’s not your job to make people love you. It’s your job to show people who you are and allow them the opportunity to love you, if they want to. If they don’t, please just let them walk away. They were probably going to walk away anyway, they were just sticking around to see if you’d beg a little bit. Don’t even give them that. Let them go. You’re not a shape shifter. You’re not going to turn into the version of yourself that you think would be more lovable by the person you are trying to be loved by. That’s not love, that’s exhausting.” -Elyse Myers, one of my favorite Tiktokers. You deserve to be loved for who you genuinely are. I wish I’d read this when I was young. Would’ve saved me years of pain and frustration.
16-21
I get it. It’s exhausting when they’re little. But you will never be so needed or so loved as you are during these years.
2, 3, 4
Keep a pair of nail clippers in the car - much better lighting outside. Clipping tiny fingernails is terrifying!
Infant-1
There’s always a temptation to throw money at your problem. But remember there’s nothing you can buy that will make up for what is really needed. And the stuff that accumulates while you try to fix the problem just ends up being a problem on its own.
14, 19
If someone wants to leave you, let them. Don’t waste your energy trying to prove your worth to anyone.
14, 19, 21
In social situations it's better to talk too little than too much. Don't over-share with people you're not close to.
15
Just remember sometimes you’re there for a good time but not a long time. Not every relationship (job, journey, experience) is meant to be permanent.)
15, 19, 21
ABC's of video game addiction: Autonomy, Belonging, Control. Try to find ways to developing these things in areas outside of gaming. Games are great, but not at the expense of everything else.
1Infant-13
Purchase the card game CBT 123 on Amazon. (Cognitive Behavior Therapy teaches kids the connection between Thoughts/ feelings/ behavior)
7