A simple trick to calm your nerves: Name 5 things you can hear right now.


5-15



Your sex life should be safe, happy, healthy and consensual. It may or may include going all the way. There’s no rush, every relationship is different. You should feel safe and so should your partner. A lot will be a mystery but you should feel safe. You should be able to trust that your partner won’t intentionally hurt you, emotionally or physically. If you don’t trust your partner to keep you safe, get out.


17



I read this quote in a blog when my oldest was little: "You will never be more needed or more loved than you are right now. You will long for the days when your kids were little." So true. These years are exhausting, but hang in there. You are their sun and moon.


2



People pretend to enjoy all sorts of things. Don’t assume you’re the only one who thinks drinking to the point of getting sick is just stupid.


15



Plan a few screen-free weekends every year. (Reticket until 16.)


7



Build a backyard adventure camp


8



Self-care is active not passive. (Zoning-out on the couch or sleeping all day isn’t self-care.)


13, 15



The things we invite to protect us take their job seriously. They will not abandon the watch without a fight to the death. So be careful, very careful about what u invite as armor. Please don’t place your trust in drugs, alcohol, food, gambling, working, disconnecting, etc. Put your trust in that which is creative, honest, loving, beautiful, interesting, inspiring, challenging or peaceful. These things make much better bodyguards, and they will never turn on you.


13, 16, 20



We feel best when we create. No amount of food, video games or any self-destructive habits will fill that hole. So why fight it?!? Create something, even if it’s as small as a little sketch or poem. Grow a garden, bake a cake. Start a business! Whatever your beautiful heart desires.


12, 15, 18, 21



Your great-great grandmother was a seamstress at Marshall Fields. Her husband was a firefighter in Chicago. The immigrated from County Wexford in Ireland.


10



Read “Lighter” by Yung Pueblo. Read it every year.


17, 19, 21



Try using “No doesn’t tell me your needs” when toddler / little kid disobeys. “Were you trying to be funny? Do you need a minute?”


3



Adjust your expectations but never lower your standards.


12, 15, 18, 21



Be generous in all things. That is my hope for you.


14, 18, 21



Pick an issue. One single issue, i.e. the economy or the environment or coverage of a certain event such as a crime or a sport season. Read at least one newspaper article on that topic every day. NYT, London Times etc.


14, 15, 16, 21



Read “Raising a Screen Smart Kid” by Julianna Miner before you consider giving him a phone.


10



Behind every behavior is a need.


2, 3, 4, 13, 14



Some relationships (or jobs) are f*cked, and cannot be unf*cked. Release them and move on.


21



Buy “Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids” by Kristen Jenson


8



The mind replays what the heart wants to heal.


16



Robin Williams was one of the best examples of how to be a good human.


15, 19, 21



Kitchen Commandment: She who cooks the dinner shall not clean up from dinner. I don't want to raise any of you to take housework for granted. It's hard. It's unfair and not cool to expect anyone (parent, spouse, roommate, etc. )to wait on you.


7-18



You are never too old to play in the snow.


16



Life is hard. But it's not so hard you can't figure it out. You're going to be fine. xoxo


11-21



Sesame Street has great resources on teaching finances to little ones.


4-5



Unkind people are unhappy people.


8, 18



When you feel like you’re on fire with anger or fear, if you can’t shake it, put that fire to good use.


14



Never consent to a search. Ask if it’s required. If not, no search. If yes, ask for your lawyer.


17, 21



Like me, you turn to food for comfort. That’s okay to a point, but it won’t help. That hole you’re trying to fill will just get deeper. So if you can’t or won’t stop eating for comfort please consider this suggestion: Do something creative first. Sing, write, paint, run, lift, act, improv, whatever. The hole will be so much more shallow when you go to try and fill it with food. Hopefully, eventually you’ll get to the point of staying in “creative mode” to feel better.


10, 12, 13, 16, 21



YouTube Randy Pauch The Last Lecture. Watch together.


14