“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as remaining where you no longer belong, or where you’re unable to be yourself and thrive.” Mandy Hall (paraphrased.)


21



They are looking for your support, not your solutions. Applies to all ages.


2, 3, 4, 8, 11, 13, 16, 18, 20, 21



You don’t have to like everyone you go to school with, or work with. You don’t even have to like your family! BUT, you have to treat everyone with respect and kindness. They are worthy of that no matter what your opinion of them may be.


15, 21



Typically, brains aren’t mature until about age 25. ADHD brains take longer


17, 21



“Forget about sex. Just play first.” Forget about making a move and just have fun. Dance, listen to music together, go somewhere exciting, look at something beautiful, read to each other, play sports, let yourself be seen and encourage them to do the same. Communicate in a hundred ways: talk/send texts/ post on social media, pass notes, whatever. Sex isn’t the door to intimacy, feeling safe to be yourself around your partner is.


15-20



Any thought about self-harm is like a “check engine” light going off for your brain. Seek professional help. You will recover.


12, 14, 15, 17, 19, 21



Help them develop a positive attitude. http://www.momentsaday.com/10-activities-help-young-children-develop-a-positive-attitude/


5



YouTube Hank Green “Study Hall.” It talks about navigating the mess of college and career choices, like choosing a major (and what a major is!) What interests align with which majors, etc.


12, 15, 16



Remember what a teenaged sh*t you were before throwing in the towel on the next generation. We’re all self-centered, entitled and oblivious when we’re young. The goal is that they don’t *stay* that way. Be the parent they need, and they’ll listen. It may take a year or twenty, but they’ll see the light if you just pour love into them.


12-21



Don't let the laundry pile up. This lessons extends to pretty much every chore: Stay ahead of it and you won't get crushed by it.


17



You’re gonna be misunderstood a lot. Some people just won’t like you. It’s okay. Wish them well and let it go.


10, 13, 16, 21



Sometimes progress is slow - Keep working. Sometimes change is swift - hang on!


16



There is so much darkness in the world - keep pushing back against it every way you can. Be a force for good.


14, 16, 21



Check out news-for-kids websites like Dogo News and NBC Learn.


7



Processing an emotion means you’re not acting on it or avoiding it, you’re just with it. I like to picture it as a person and then imagine having a cup of coffee or a beer with it. Hope this helps you. xoxo


13, 16



Model being a considerate person.


2-18



Practice not putting stuff off. If it takes 10 seconds or less do it now. Then move up to 30 seconds or less. Keep going up to ~3 minutes. Good example is putting away laundry or emptying dishwasher, etc.


15



Make sure they have resources other than us. Hotlines for teens such as Boys Town National Hotline, National $@!#% Prevention Lifeline, etc.


12



Actions have consequences- so does inaction. Avoiding a problem or decision is not an effective solution.


18



Con-men (or women) appear perfect. They are good-looking, kind, flattering, etc. Most people are good. But be careful of those who seem to be too good.


15



Anger is the bodyguard of sadness.


12-15, 21



“I need help. But I don’t know what I need help with. Could you ask me a few questions and help me figure it out?” Keep this one in your back pocket.


5, 7, 11, 13, 16, 19, 21



Pray for the courage to be yourself.


10, 13, 15, 17, 21



Use Shutterfly or something like it to make Christmas books and birthday books each year.


Infant-21



Apollo 13 and The Martian Great movies about space, science, engineering, etc. Watch together.


12



Marriage tip: King sized blanket on Queen size bed.


21



Resentment is a sign you are giving too much and are in need of replenishment. It’s a good example of how even the “negative” emotions are on your side, interpreting your experience in the world.


16, 18, 21



Your spouse will be absolutely unbearable roughly 10% of the time. So will you be, by the way. Give grace. Receive it too. Also, physical distance helps, even for a few hours.


21