Be a safe place. Teach them to be a safe place too.


12



When it comes to conflict- what is your part in things?


15, 21



“It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to grieve. Because you can also live your life, and love your life, and be happy too.” Excellent advice from 9/11 survivor.


12, 15, 19



Pedestrians get hit all the time. Be aware when you’re driving OR walking. Wear reflective gear if walking at night. Stay off your phone when driving OR walking.


15



Ask”How can I be a better parent to you?” Listen.


1Infant-18



Never give unsolicited advice. Instead ask “How can I best support you?”


14, 20



Replace “but” with “and.” “I love you but...” Becomes “I love you and that’s why...” etc.


9



The things we invite to protect us take their job seriously. They will not abandon the watch without a fight to the death. So be careful, very careful about what u invite as armor. Please don’t place your trust in drugs, alcohol, food, gambling, working, disconnecting, etc. Put your trust in that which is creative, honest, loving, beautiful, interesting, inspiring, challenging or peaceful. These things make much better bodyguards, and they will never turn on you.


13, 16, 20



Keep a pair of nail clippers in the car - much better lighting outside. Clipping tiny fingernails is terrifying!


Infant-1



1

“If you can’t figure something out, figure out how to figure it out.” - Paul Graham


18



Read “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” by Dr. Marc Weissbluth


Infant



Give yourself a break from thinking about yourself.


13, 16, 21



Keep stories about younger years to tell them later: You used to call yellow “lellow” etc. Ten years from now you think you’ll remember this stuff but you won’t.


2



Don’t use a bad word when you can use a good word.


10



Start a yearly “review” right before school year. Raise allowance as appropriate. If they want more money, they’ll have to take on more responsibilities.


8



You never know what people are going through. Depression, PTSD, anxiety could look like avoidance, anger, risk-taking, promiscuity, etc. Look out for friends, coworkers and loved ones who may be in pain. You don’t need to solve their problem, just allow for the possibility that they’re going through something. Try to give them the benefit of the doubt and not write off “bad” behavior as a character flaw. Offer a non-judgmental ear.


15, 20



Two words: Kinetic Sand.


3



If you see a kid sitting alone, he or she might be your next best friend. Go say hi! Ask him/her to sit next to you / play on your team, etc. No need to worry about whether that person is “too cool” or “not cool enough,” they’re just a kid. Like you.


8



Don't say anything out loud that you wouldn't want repeated or overheard. Don't email / text, etc. anything that you wouldn't want forwarded.


11-15



Ask the question “What are you doing when you feel most like yourself?”


16



Go as a family to local high school musical productions.


7-18



Be kinder than necessary.


9, 15, 21



Be willing to say “I don’t know” if you don’t know! Don’t just make stuff up.


15, 20



The more you want, the less you get.


14, 16, 21



Something to remember on those days when the kids are making you nuts and you’re at the end of your parenting rope: “They love you no matter what. They always want to be close to you. Even when you’re screwing up, they still think you’re amazing. They want to be just like you when they grow up. You are their hero. You may be their mom, but they’re constantly reminding you of your worth.”


2



Enjoy your success but don’t flaunt it.


21



Better to be a little hungry than too full.


15, 21



To calculate military time starting at 1300, subtract 12.


15



No bragging. Don’t toot your own horn.


11, 15, 21



Remind them they’re safe to feel whatever they’re feeling.


2, 12, 21