Always keep a clean rag within arm’s reach in the car. You never know when you might need to clean-up a spill or smash a spider while driving 50mph.


16



Challenge: Memorize and recite The New Colossus by Emma Lazarus.


10



Quoting Glennon Doyle: “Things can feel hard and sad and still be exactly right, all at the same time.” She’s referring to her divorce but the sentiment applies to all kinds of tough choices that we all make. Very few choices feel 100% right.


17



Read poem “Wild Geese” by Mary Oliver. (“...You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves...”)


17



Enroll in a CPR course. Re-certify every year.


13



Default to "nice guy." Meaning it should require something significant for you NOT to be nice. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Cut them (and yourself) some slack. Life is hard. We're all in this together.


12



Being well-read is better (and cheaper) than an advanced degree, especially for broader education. Stay curious and read!! Fiction, non-fiction, biographies ...


15, 18, 21



Uplift your friends and surround yourself with friends who uplift you. In person and online. Encourage each other to let your lights shine brightly. Never bully or steal someone’s joy.


11, 15, 18, 20



Fact: when you drink to excess you are significantly more likely to cause harm to someone or be harmed yourself. Being drunk means surrendering your ability to keep yourself and others safe.


12, 15, 18



Time management skills. Look for current resources. Teach about making lists when you're feeling overwhelmed. Start with listing 5 to-do's. Tackle the top 3 of those. Then reassess. New priorities? If no, keep going down the list. If yes, add them to the list in whatever order of importance.


12



If your partner doesn’t want to commit to you, it’s not a matter of convincing them. Even if you get them to walk down the aisle that’s not the problem. It’s not that they don’t want to get married, it’s that they don’t want to BE married to you. And that is not a problem that will go away even if you manage to “get” them to commit. Walk away or spend the rest of your life pulling them along. F that.


21



You’ll miss me when I’m gone, but if I did my job right you won’t need me.


21



Marry your hero.


21



I highly recommend you read The Crane Wife by CJ Houser.


15, 17, 19, 21



Focus on being interesting (and genuinely interested) rather than focusing on being popular.


11, 13, 17, 21



Check in on your friends. Even the ones that seem fine.


14-21



You have to be in a good place to be able to make good choices. If you’re run-down, sick, grieving, addicted or in a really bad relationship, etc. you won’t be able to make healthy choices. It’s a catch 22 I know. My point is that you have to take care of yourself (or get help) so you can be in a position to make healthy, good choices.


17, 21



This Coda is my creation. It’s what I wanted to accomplish as a parent. What you do with it is entirely up to you. I hope you never feel like you have to do the same. Make your own way. Make yourself proud. If you’re happy, I’m happy.


21



Use Shutterfly or something like it to make Christmas books and birthday books each year.


Infant-21



“It’s alright to be yourself. There ARE people in this world who will love you.” -Fred Rogers


12, 14, 17, 21



Which line of poetry would you get tattooed?


17



Learn what triggers you. It’s probably just two or three things. Work on your issues


14, 18. 21



It’s your civic duty to vote (including midterms!) Be an informed voter.


16, 18



Don’t go to sleep on a full stomach.


10, 15, 17, 19



You gotta play with them. Down on the floor, at the park, in the water, in the snow. Connect through play, it will be the foundation of your relationship.


1-4



My favorite Chinese food order is chicken Kung Pao, shrimp fried rice and beef lo mein. That way we all get a little of each meat.


16



Make a deal: flying lessons IF he takes dancing lessons. A man has got to know how to dance! In fact, tack on some other prerequisites like good grades and responsible behavior


16



Some men think if they just act like a total $@!#% then people will assume they’re uber intelligent. Just because someone is scary it doesn’t mean he’s scary smart.


15, 21



Violent thunderstorms can be dangerous. Avoid driving or being out in severe weather: car accidents, downed trees, high winds, lightning, flash floods, etc. are all potentially deadly. Don’t take your safety for granted. If the weather is severe, stay sheltered unless you absolutely positively have to be out and about.


12-14, 16, 21



Always remember - cheesecake is the best cake.


21