Talk about de-escalation techniques.


15



Be thankful for opportunities to be of service. It means God is trusting you to help.


8-14



Whatever you choose to do, do it well and there will always be a demand for you. (Quoting Adam Schiff from his book “Midnight in Washington.”


16



Offer gifts to the Lord. Maybe it's your school work, or your career, or the kid you raise, or your life in general. Wrap it up and make it a present to the Lord.


9-15



Participate in an exchange program - either through hosting or traveling yourself & immerse yourself in the new culture


17



Try to avoid the temptation to reach a conclusion too quickly or cling to it too tightly.” (Paraphrasing James Comey from his book ’A Higher Loyalty,’ which I recommend as a fantastic lesson in leadership - and history, and public service.)


19



When making decisions or setting goals etc, approach from the perspective of your truest self. That’s integrity.


14, 18, 21



Gambling is a very tricky thing. It can get out of hand easily because of how the brain works. That initial “rush” of excitement starts to burn pathways, and causes chemical reactions that need to be fed more and more. Before you know it you’re gambling more often and with more money, trying to achieve that rush. Be very, very careful with gambling. Gambling casinos and online gaming know this and they exploit it to make TONS of money. It’s a scam. Avoid gambling all together or step away very early.


16, 18, 19, 21



Two words: Kinetic Sand.


3



When you’re in a disagreement with someone or feel you’ve been wronged, it’s helpful to remember who the other person is. Are they someone of integrity? (If they’re your friend I bet they are.) Remember then, that even though they may have done something to hurt you, they were likely believed their actions were doing (or at least trying to do) the right thing. People sometimes get it wrong. Or they don’t have all the facts. Or their mind is just somewhere else. The pain you may feel from a perceived slight is probably not intentional, but even if it is, try to forgive and let it go. We’re all just doing the best we can.


16, 21



Slow down and normalize making out without it leading to anything more. Physical intimacy can mean lots of things that aren’t sex: kissing should feel safe, personal and playful. ALWAYS be respectful and never assume that just because your sweetie is into it that they want to go farther. If your goal is to “score” do it by yourself.


15, 21



Look into Kano (make your own computer)


7-11



Watch the documentary Kelce (2023)


12



Follow your dreams…not your boyfriend’s.


16



It’s best not to cuss but writing bad words is even worse than speaking them. Even in casual texting, etc. Always an asterisk in place of a vowel to avoid being rude.


16



A simple trick to calm your nerves: Name 5 things you can hear right now.


5-15



1

Ask them to name 2 current or historical figures that they admire and why (one man one woman).


6-18



Keep stuff on hand for guests. Be ready to be a good host / hostess at any moment.


16-21



1

Talk about how to speak up for themselves and others.


1Infant-12, 16, 21



Say it early and repeat it often, so that it sinks way down deep: There is nothing you could do to make me stop loving you. No mistake, no failure, no decision, nothing. There is no hole so deep that if you fell into it I wouldn’t climb down to help you out of. I love you no matter what.


7



Look for glimmers. The opposite of triggers. Feels of elation, belonging, peaceful contentment. I just watched you glimmer as you delighted in your first Crunchbox. “I made this!!!”


12, 15, 19, 21



Hydrolaunch Water Rocket outdoor sprinkler toy. Summer fun plus a little science lesson. On Amazon


5



Purchase book "All Are Welcome" by Alexandra Penfold to prep him for kindergarten.


5



Don’t use a bad word when you can use a good word.


10



Look into going to college abroad. Research international universities. Spain, Netherlands, etc.


15, 16



Universal Studios


12-18



Resource: the website Ask, Listen and Learn has great material about how to start a conversation about the dangers of under-age drinking. asklistenlearn.org


9



Dating advice: If they like you, you’re gonna know. If they don’t, you’re gonna be confused.”


16, 21



Have them practice making trade offs based on their financial priorities. For example: Pedicure or movie?


9



This Coda is my creation. It’s what I wanted to accomplish as a parent. What you do with it is entirely up to you. I hope you never feel like you have to do the same. Make your own way. Make yourself proud. If you’re happy, I’m happy.


21