"You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read." ~ James Baldwin


14, 19



You’re gonna want to quit, many times. Whether it’s a job, a marriage, a degree, a cause… whatever. I have no way of knowing whether or not you should quit, just know that feeling like you want to quit is normal when you hit a setback or disappointment, or rejection or betrayal. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to feel that way forever. Sometimes it’s best to cut your losses, sometimes it’s better to stick it out. Treat yourself with patience and compassion while you consider what’s best.


14, 17, 21



What’s the Mark Twain quote about it’s not what you don’t know that gets you into trouble it’s what you know for sure that just ain’t true.


13, 21



Help him practice having tense conversations without getting a tone of voice.


15



Begin again. Whether by choice or necessity, sometimes there’s no other option.


15, 21



Make sure they have resources other than us. Hotlines for teens such as Boys Town National Hotline, National $@!#% Prevention Lifeline, etc.


12



Dating advice: If they like you, you’re gonna know. If they don’t, you’re gonna be confused.”


16, 21



Anyone who asks you to violate your values doesn’t deserve your allegiance.


16, 21



Think about God as the driver of our car or the pilot of a plane- He gets us through the storm, he shows us and encourages us to enjoy the beauty of the scenery. But all the while He keeps us with him. He doesn’t cause the storms, He gets us through them. We can trust in his goodness and wisdom even when the conditions are really scary.


5, 12



“When you are not fed love off a silver spoon you will learn to lick it off of knives.” Lauren Eden (poet)


0, 20



Ask them to think of foods that taste good and also foods that make them feel good. Involve them in lunchbox decisions, dinner planning and prep, etc. so they’re empowered by their food habits.


6-9



Sometimes we’re just not ready to appreciate or understand a book or film or piece of art. Revisit them as you age.


19, 21



Win some, learn some.


14, 17, 21



Make yourself a good hand. Don't wait to be asked, just jump in when you see a need. Wash a dish, make a bed, change a tire, help out a friend or a stranger whenever you can.


14-20



A man is not a financial plan.


17



If you’re unable to help someone, help someone else. Throw some goodness or beauty in the bucket of humanity.


16



If someone wants to leave you, let them. Don’t waste your energy trying to prove your worth to anyone.


14, 19, 21



You don’t have to lower your standards, just lower your walls.


12, 15, 21



Putting up the Christmas tree the weekend or next after Thanksgiving, then watching Polar Express in the glow of the lights. Maybe the smell of gingerbread cookies baking too.


5-9



Before a play date or sleepover ask the parent “Are there any unlocked guns in the house?”


6-9



Set up automatic payments so they are initiated on your end, so that you send out money to the bill/ company you’re paying instead of giving them access to take money out of your account.


20



Success = liking who you are, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.


14, 17, 21



Always have a 5 year plan. Be thinking of goals you want to work towards, however big or small. What inspires you? What drives you? What do you want to accomplish or cure or solve?


15, 17, 21



“When little people get overwhelmed by big feelings it’s our job to share our calm, not join their chaos.” L.R. Knost


1, 2, 3, 4, 10



It’s not fair to resent someone for being who they are. We can all improve ourselves, learn and grow etc. but we should never ask anyone to change who they are in exchange for our love. And that goes both ways - never change who you are to fit someone else’s idea of who you should be. Be open to ways to can improve yourself of course, but surround yourself with people who love you for you and encourage you to be your genuine self and who want the best for you.


12, 15, 18, 21



Ask “What are you going to teach ME?” Let him work on something to teach.


11



I’ve been trying to retrain my brain to deal with anxiety in healthy ways. It’s SO hard when these connections were fused decades ago. BUT I REFUSE to be a party to YOU laying down those same unhealthy neurological pathways. I’ll teach you better ways to handle stress and anxiety. Exercise/ Music/ warm showers/ creativity/ rest/ journaling/ meditation... WHATEVER! I promise to Somehow teach you what I never learned.


5-10, 14



Numbing doesn’t work. Let it hurt, let it heal, then it lets itself go.


15,21



Avoid love bombing.


15, 17, 21



Consent is more than the literal


13, 14, 15, 16, 21