Invest in a laminator, a label maker and a glue gun. You’ll be glad you did!


5



“You belong in every room you enter.” - Shonda Rhymes


6-21



Compassion: Acting with love when faced with another’s suffering.


16



Institute “Family Night” a screen-free night of games and fun and togetherness. Can use these times for conversations about things you want to address / teach. Maybe make theme nights and build around a lesson so it’s fun and enjoyable. Continue through school years.


4-6



“ A vocation is where our anger and our joy meet.” -Sarah Bessey


16



Technology doesn’t remove the expectation of good behavior. Be mindful of your manners (and all of our collective humanity) when posting on social media. And no anonymous trolling. If you’re not prepared to sign your name to what you’re putting out there, that’s a good indication you shouldn’t be doing it.


13, 20



Be mindful of privilege. Discuss the concept, point it out where you see it.


11-18



1

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” - Winston Churchill


16, 21



Sometimes good people aren’t a good match. It’s better for both of you if you’re honest with yourself and with them.


17, 21



Assume any email or text you send will be distributed.


12, 15



When backing up a trailer, put your hand at the bottom of the steering wheel and move the steering wheel in the direction you want the trailer to go.


19



We’re born full of love. Life is about choosing where you want to put it. -xo


15, 19, 21



Avoid love bombing.


15, 17, 21



Stuff is gonna happen! They will make incredibly stupid choices and get into all kinds of trouble. Take a beat. Be radically merciful. THAT is what they’ll remember and that is the lesson they’ll learn.


12-21



American Sign Language course


15



You’re not obsessed with that person you’re just hyper fixating. It’s ADHD.


12, 16, 19, 21



To paraphrase Ted Lasso, it’s the people who think they’ve got it all figured out who delight in judging people and events. It’s better to be open minded, ask questions. Be curious, not judgmental.


15, 21



Summer Olympics for neighborhood kids. Create events in all kinds of sports, games and skills. Mix it up so the littler ones and the less athletically inclined have something they can succeed at too.


8-12



Difficult conversations: Break-ups, layoffs, etc. happen. Practice delivering bad news and getting bad news.


15-21



Check out School of Rock (Vienna) or Bach to Rock.


9



Start a tradition of asking them to memorize and recite a poem or famous speech for a gift for Mother’s Day, Christmas, etc. Start small with the little ones, expand as they get older.


8



Super good-looking people often don’t develop good people skills because they’ve been able to get by on their looks. Listen! Beauty fades. Get curious about people who don’t necessarily catch your eye right away.


16, 19, 21



I’m not a tattoo person but I don’t rule it out entirely. Here’s my opinion about tattoos: I’m cool with anything you would do if you were the only person on earth. Not to gain attention, acceptance or affection. Not for the approval of anyone else. No performative tattoos, okay?


16, 17, 18, 21



Listen to podcast “1912” about an incident of alarming racial injustice Forsyth County GA.


12



I did my best to guide you, but I’m sure there are many areas where my take is just not aligned with yours. That’s okay! Bunny please don’t feel any obligation to believe what I believe or take any advice, or continue any tradition mentioned in this Coda.


21



I read this quote in a blog when my oldest was little: "You will never be more needed or more loved than you are right now. You will long for the days when your kids were little." So true. These years are exhausting, but hang in there. You are their sun and moon.


2



Long before I was old enough to decide what I wanted my life to be about, I was set on a path of other’s choosing: marriage, kids, Catholic. I took that assignment to heart. Focused like a laser beam. Ironically, I believe that it’s because marriage and a conventional family was my prime directive that I ended up becoming roadkill on that path. My point is twofold: don’t let me or anyone else tell you what your life should look like. Maybe college isn’t for you, maybe marriage isn’t something that appeals to you, maybe it is! Keep exploring until you find a direction that fits your own values and priorities. As long as you’re paying your bills and you’re not hurting anyone including yourself, knock yourself out! Go wild! Do whatever feels right. And if you don’t know where you want to be, go where you’re needed to start with. I love you forever no matter what you do.


17, 21