Grit.


14



If a girl is drunk she cannot consent. Don’t even think about hooking up when your partner is intoxicated. It’s immoral and illegal. No excuses. No exceptions. . Break this law and you will be (rightfully) charged with rape and you will get sent to prison.


15



Practice making yourself do something you don’t feel like doing. Practice and it gets easier


10, 12, 15, 18, 21



When you’re in a disagreement with someone or feel you’ve been wronged, it’s helpful to remember who the other person is. Are they someone of integrity? (If they’re your friend I bet they are.) Remember then, that even though they may have done something to hurt you, they were likely believed their actions were doing (or at least trying to do) the right thing. People sometimes get it wrong. Or they don’t have all the facts. Or their mind is just somewhere else. The pain you may feel from a perceived slight is probably not intentional, but even if it is, try to forgive and let it go. We’re all just doing the best we can.


16, 21



Small joys are what gets you through big grief.


14, 18, 21



You have to learn how to not start, and how to stop abruptly when you’re turned on. Doesn’t matter how much you want it, nothing happens unless she gives enthusiastic consent, and nothing continues if she were to withdraw consent for any reason or at any time. Look up the making tea analogy for consent. It’s perfect.


14, 15, 16, 17, 18



Put him in charge of figuring the tip out when we’re out at a restaurant. Calculate 15% or 20% etc. Also emphasize that the difference between a good tip and a great tip is usually just a few dollars but it makes a difference to the recipient. Be generous with people who are in service professions.


12-14



Watch Ted Lasso together.


16



Attend a school board meeting or some sort of government meeting. Attend / participate.


13



Check in on your friends. Even the ones that seem fine.


14-21



Toast your wife at every occasion.


21



Enroll in a CPR course. Re-certify every year.


13



People want to be heard. Listen to your clients, even when they're upset. Don't make excuses or anything, just let them talk. They mostly just want to be heard. Once they're calm, you can solve the problem.


21



Try out Petra Lingua online language courses for kids. (Ages 3-10)


4



So what you can. If you’re overwhelmed or depressed, and I can’t get it together to brush your teeth, rinse with water. Tomorrow, rinse with mouthwash. In a few days, brush without bothering to put toothpaste on the brush. This is a pretty extreme example but u get the picture. If you can’t do a load of laundry, just pick up the clothes into a pile. Tomorrow separate the pile. If you can’t face doing a full leg day at the gym, do one rep. Just do what you can, and eventually you will get up to speed. Give yourself grace, my love.


15, 17, 21



There are things you should not say: Never comment or ask a woman about her age or weight. Never comment on how many kids someone has (or doesn’t have.) The size, timing, composition, etc of someone else’s family is not your business to weigh in on. You never know who is struggling with loss or infertility, etc. And if someone announces they are expecting their seventh kid, the only correct response is “Congratulations” “How are you feeling?” etc. Just like you would if it was their first. Never ask someone how much weight they lost. If they’ve lost weight, just say “You look wonderful/amazing/ fantastic, etc.” And of course never comment on anyone having gained weight. Just say “You look wonderful.” And never never never ask someone how much money they earn or how much money they have, or how much they owe or paid for something, etc. People’s finances are personal, and are just not any of your business.


15, 20



“Your life unfolds in proportion to your courage.” -Danielle Le Port


15, 18



On marriage: Your spouse will change. You will change. Some for the better, some parts for the worse. Tastes, plans, health, body shape, education, needs, beliefs... all change throughout our lives. It’s growth. (It’s also decay!) Support each other through both. Encourage each other to be true to yourselves. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Be kind. Pray for each other. Have fun together. Keep learning about each other. Be your partner’s biggest fan.


21



Theme: Dignity


11



You remember experiences, connections. Not stuff. Don’t get too caught up in stuff.


12, 15, 17, 21



Golf lessons. Grampa loved golf, if he were here he would have taught you himself.


9



Your great-great grandmother was a seamstress at Marshall Fields. Her husband was a firefighter in Chicago. The immigrated from County Wexford in Ireland.


10



Always clean from clean to dirty. Wash glassware first, greasy dishes last. Sink and tub first, then toilet. Then floor. Top-to bottom is another general rule.


13, 18



Let’s talk about how we can bless people - with what we have and by how we act.


7



Healing doesn’t mean becoming the best version of yourself. It’s learning to love even the worst parts about yourself.


17, 21



“First things first!” It’s a constant struggle to get out of the house or complete a task. Hammer home “first things first!” After they’re dressed (or whatever task) THEN they can have screen time or playtime free-time, etc.


4



Lookout for the girls when you’re in a group. Some boys will try to take advantage or straight up r@pe them. Your responsibility goes beyond avoiding harming anyone. Your male privilege is a perk…earn it. Protect girls from sketchy dudes. No big deal, just help when you can and then move along. Don’t expect a cookie.


14,15, 16, 17, 21



“There’s a part of me that’s a part of you” said a painter whose name I can’t remember. I don’t think he was talking to anyone in particular, or if he meant we’re all a part of each other. Either way, it’s a beautiful thought.


20



“I don’t know what I think until I write about it.” - Joan Didion


15