Begin planning trip for 10th bday. Maybe to Atlantis in Bahamas or someplace he’d be excited about._____Get him involved in planning and saving.


8



Whatever your first knee-jerk reaction is, it’s not always the right one. Sleep on it.


14, 17, 21



You don’t have to look for love. You definitely don’t have to audition for it. All you need to do is be the most “you” you can be. And if you have no idea what you love or who you are…congratulations! Figuring it out will be the best part.


13, 15, 16, 17, 18, 21



“If you can’t figure something out, figure out how to figure it out.” - Paul Graham


18



None of us sit high enough to look down on anybody.


11, 14, 17, 21



Win some, learn some.


14, 17, 21



When setting off fireworks...Keep a hose or a bucket of water nearby. Also remember Costco is a great place to buy them!


5, 7, 9



Begin again. Whether by choice or necessity, sometimes there’s no other option.


15, 21



Long before I was old enough to decide what I wanted my life to be about, I was set on a path of other’s choosing: marriage, kids, Catholic. I took that assignment to heart. Focused like a laser beam. Ironically, I believe that it’s because marriage and a conventional family was my prime directive that I ended up becoming roadkill on that path. My point is twofold: don’t let me or anyone else tell you what your life should look like. Maybe college isn’t for you, maybe marriage isn’t something that appeals to you, maybe it is! Keep exploring until you find a direction that fits your own values and priorities. As long as you’re paying your bills and you’re not hurting anyone including yourself, knock yourself out! Go wild! Do whatever feels right. And if you don’t know where you want to be, go where you’re needed to start with. I love you forever no matter what you do.


17, 21



Sometimes progress is slow - Keep working. Sometimes change is swift - hang on!


16



Fire drills. Practice what to do, where to go if the house is on fire. Have an escape plan.


5-10



In social situations it's better to talk too little than too much. Don't over-share with people you're not close to.


15



1

Plan out first concert.


11



You can’t grow in faith (or character or friendships) without learning to be humble. To forgive. To listen without agenda. To allow for the possibility you may be in the wrong. Ask for help. God will give it.


16



It’s very easy to wander into trouble- not usually easy to wander out of it.


12



Change “I need to” to “this matters because”. Instead of “I need to walk the dog” say “it matters that I walk the dog because he needs exercise and to check p-mail.” (Helps!)


8, 11, 16, 21



Talk about how to be a good houseguest: Always bring something (food, wine, gift, etc) Make your bed, keep area clean. Enthusiastically accept your host’s hospitality but don’t make extra work for them. Contribute and pitch in where u can. Send a thank you note - or at very least, an email!


18



90 seconds or less. No one wants to hear you talk for more than that. (In a personal setting like giving a toast.)


17, 21



Hold yourself to account when you screw up but give yourself some grace. Instead of “I’m such a terrible person” ask yourself “”How can I make up for this? What can I learn from this? How can I do better next time?”


10, 12, 15, 19



When he comes to you and tells you he’s in trouble, stay calm. Ask “How can I help you?” Figure it out together. No matter how old he is, he needs to know you’re on his side. There will be time for lessons and consequences, etc. But first, help.


7, 12, 15, 21



Golf lessons. Grampa loved golf, if he were here he would have taught you himself.


9



When disciplining remember: First acknowledge the emotion, then address the behavior.


2-4, 13, 15



1

Approach difficult conversations looking to learn something, not to prove something.


16, 21



Two instances when exercise is unhealthy: when you’re only doing it because you want to lose weight or because you’re terrified you will gain weight.


14, 18, 21



Compassion: Acting with love when faced with another’s suffering.


16



Start something new and let yourself revel in being bad at it. Paint badly, dance badly, write badly, play badly. Keep at it, and don’t let yourself get discouraged. Eventually you’ll be good at it!


15, 21



When you begin dating it’s all butterflies and moonbeams. Eventually you’re going to do or say something that hurts the other person and vice versa. For that matter, eventually you’ll disagree about something. It’s VERY important to consider how they handle it. Nobody is perfect, it may not be pretty but it had better be civil. If not, don’t think for a second that they will change. Get outta there.


15, 21



Be the kind of man that people feel safe around. Safe from harm, safe from judgment and safe from ridicule.


17



“Don’t chase your dreams


14, 17, 20, 21



Two words: Kinetic Sand.


3