Sometimes, no matter how great a thing is it can’t make up for what it’s not.


14, 19, 21



Use Shutterfly or something like it to make Christmas books and birthday books each year.


Infant-21



Practice road-rage roll playing. People are NUTS! It's hard to imagine how you'll react when someone gets aggressive with you. Let's practice staying calm when someone is shouting and in your face.


15-17



Ask them to name 2 current or historical figures that they admire and why (one man one woman).


6-18



Be extra careful when you’re parking or pulling out of a driveway. It’s hard to see little kids or pets.


16



Having an opinion is not the same thing as having an informed opinion. If you don't know enough about a subject to speak intelligently about it, keep quiet and educate yourself.


12, 18



“Beer muscles” is when guys gain a sense of indestructibility, an exaggerated sense of their own strength. Fights and aggressive behavior ensues.


15



Other peoples’ expectations are the guard rails on the road. They keep you safe and guide you he way - literally. They keep you from driving off a cliff. So if you want to be safe, and if you do that’s great, stay within the guardrails. But if you want to fly, you’re gonna have to run right over them.


18, 21



Read (or listen to) The Greatest Generation by Tom Brokaw together as a family. It's broken up into small vignettes so it's easy to get through bit by bit.


15



Two big things. Control yourself, not others. Learn to react less.


12, 16, 19, 21



Learn to recognize invitations from the Lord - invitations to look at beauty. Invitations for compassion, for learning and for love.


9-15



People may have all kinds of different motives for doing what they do, saying what they say. To “give someone the benefit of the doubt” means that you consider what the best possible reason they may have for doing what they did and assume that was the motive. If someone has earned your trust, even if it’s that they’ve done nothing to break your trust, give them the benefit of the doubt.


11-15



change the wifi password often. Hold it hostage until chores are done. Work first, play later.


9-14



If you’re ever in a situation where you’re worried you might need people to believe you in the future, take contemporaneous notes. Write or record what happened, how you responded. Focus on the facts but don’t ignore your thoughts or feelings, include them in your notes. Date and sign it. Keep it safe.


14, 17, 19, 21



Approach difficult conversations looking to learn something, not to prove something.


16, 21



“You matter to me.” Is a beautiful way to express your feelings when a relationship is new.


15, 17, 21



“Vulnerability is not about winning or losing, it’s about showing up and being seen.” -Brene Brown Be vulnerable, that’s where the good stuff lies.


18



Practice being okay with someone misunderstanding you. Not everyone is going to “get” you. That’s okay.


14, 19, 21



I stopped worrying about you by the time you were seven. (I’m not talking about your safety and health, that I’ll always worry about!) But I knew you were a joyful, generous, kind, smart and well-mannered person. You were a great friend, supportive and fun. You would be a good partner, and would contribute so much good to society. I could see you had a curious mind, an active imagination and more than a healthy dose of courage.


15, 21



Isometrics for “punishment” (wall sits, arm lifts, planks, etc.)


5



Just let a sweet moment be. There’s a time for jokes or small talk, but sometimes silence is best.


15,21



Don’t offer them advice until you ask questions: What does a good outcome here look like for you? How much energy are you willing to put into this? Do you feel like you’re being asked to sacrifice a part of who you are if you do this? Is the fear you’re feeling maybe just that initial reaction we all get when something is new and unfamiliar? Stuff like that. Mostly they just need help understanding themselves and encouragement to stay true to themselves.


4, 7, 12, 15, 18, 21



Go to College results. Org to look at graduation rates. How likely is a rising freshman at that school to stick it out and graduate in 4 years? HUGE variation, it should factor in their decision.


16



Meditation isn’t about a quiet mind, it’s about training a distracted mind to remain in the present. Focus on your breathing for one minute (set a timer.) Every time your thoughts wonder, gently bring your focus back to your breath. You may have to do this 10, 20, 30 or more times during those 60 seconds…but eventually you’ll get better. When you do, increase to two minutes, then five, all the way up to 30 minutes or even an hour.


16



Slow down and normalize making out without it leading to anything more. Physical intimacy can mean lots of things that aren’t sex: kissing should feel safe, personal and playful. ALWAYS be respectful and never assume that just because your sweetie is into it that they want to go farther. If your goal is to “score” do it by yourself.


15, 21



Have somebody take him skiing. I never learned to ski but I hope he learns to ski or snowboard.


6-11



Even when something’s not the right fit (job interview, blind date, audition, etc.) you’re still making connections. You never know what could happen, so stay engaged and be yourself. Maybe that blind date who’s not into you has a friend who might be. Maybe that casting director will call you for a totally different role. Chin up! Ride the positive vibes you put out into the universe.


12,18, 21



Practice your signature


13



Every “yes” to something is a “no” to something else. Take your time processing the choices - write in your journal, sweat it out, listen to music, talk to someone you trust, read books from experts. Once you’re clear about what you’re giving up, let it go and don’t look back. (Remember there’s no advice that’s right more than 99% of the time. Always trust your gut. Just remember an impulse isn’t the same thing as a gut check.)


15, 16, 19, 21