Girls forget a good bit of compliments they receive but they remember every single insult. Speak gently, remind them they’re beautiful. Never qualify it.
12, 14, 17
Take advantage of all the help that’s available to you! Counselors, advisors, mentors, etc. Then pay it forward when you’re in a position to do so.
17
“A lot” is two words. (You wouldn’t write abunch as one word.) “Its” is a pronoun like his or hers (you wouldn’t write her’s) The contraction “it’s” ONLY means “it is.” They’re / there / their
10
“You rarely have time for everything you want in this life, so you need to make choices. And hopefully your choices can come from a deep sense of who you are.” -Mr. Rogers
15
One of the most difficult things in life will be to embrace difficult and unfamiliar ways in order to grow or heal. But doing so is the only way we can grow or heal. You can do hard things. Breathe deep and take it by moment if you have to.
18, 21
Keep in mind the human tendency (rightly or wrongly) to think “how it ends is how it was”. Could be a work shift, a class, a relationship, etc. try to end on a good note.
16, 21
Be present. Don’t turn every conversation into a lesson. They stay in their rooms so much because they feel safe there. They’re tired and stressed out and managing a lot of change.
13
No matter how late you are, don’t speed or drive unsafely. It’s not worth someone’s life or limbs.
18-18, 21
No one is ever really ready to be a parent. It’s definitely on the job training! But I’ll say this: If you’re prepared to put your family’s needs before your own, you’re as ready as anyone can be.
21
Listen to albums. Two of my favorites came out the very same month: Cowboy Carter by Beyoncé and The Tortured Poets Department by Taylor Swift.
12
Stupid is as stupid does - it’s not something you “are” it’s something you do.
4, 7, 9, 11, 13, 16, 19, 21
They can shower themselves if you install a hand-held shower head and install a suction cup wall-mount shower head holder lower on the shower wall. It’s easy to do and very cheap. They love it!
4-6
“Open your eyes and see what you can, until they close forever.” - All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Dorr. See the world! Learn science, appreciate art and books, meet people and be genuinely interested in them. Engage in the fight for justice, resist fascism and dictators. Share what you have and who you are. Putting up walls is a waste of time. Yes, there will be pain. But you will be able to face it with grace, grit, courage and with the love of others. Make love! But remember if they’re too drunk to drive, they’re too drunk to consent. And be sure you’re both on the same page so you can avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings (yours and theirs). Don’t kiss and tell. Be protective but never possessive. Just be a man, you know? (man/woman/grownup human.) Be safe - $@!#% is forever.
15, 16, 17, 18, 21
We struggle so much when we don’t know ourselves. Are you a thinker (creative, big picture) or a doer (meticulous, task-oriented.) Both are great by the way.
16, 21
Golf lessons this year. Your grandpa loved golf. He tried to teach me when he first got sick, and those are some of my best memories of him. Great way to get fresh air and exercise too.
11
Kids (and people of all ages) need attention, affection and appreciation. It’s not all they need, but it’s a start!
11
People are insecure. Be mindful of fragile egos (we all have them to a degree.) Avoid implying that people aren't doing a good job.
20
You’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. What’s something worth being hated for?
11, 14, 17, 21
Awesome game we did at preschool - play I SPY. Try with objects or emotions, such as "I spy something sad" or "I spy something joyful." To help him learn empathy.
3-5
Motivation: Just start. Two minutes. You don’t need to feel good to get going, you need to get going to give yourself a chance to feel good.
16
IMPORTANT: If you borrow money from someone pay it back as soon as possible. In full. If you borrow an item, return it in excellent condition. I’d say if you borrow a car, return it with a full tank of gas but hopefully by the time you’re driving there won’t be any combustible engines. So return it fully charged!
12, 14, 16, 21
Consider the source. When you get information, look at where or who it’s coming from. Do you trust them? Are they an expert? When someone criticizes you. Do they know why they’re talking about and are they taking chances themselves. Pay no attention to hecklers.
15
It’s okay if you don’t know how (or don’t want) to move on. Start with something easier…just don’t go back.
16