Don’t feed the thing you’re fighting.


13, 17, 21



Have them practice making trade offs based on their financial priorities. For example: Pedicure or movie?


9



Resist the urge to blurt out and over share when you’re feeling pressured to say something. Have a few “go to” phrases in your back pocket. “I’m at a lack of words” or “vibe check” or “let’s take a beat.” Come up with your own. Calm, kind, respectful. xoxo


11, 12, 14, 17, 21



When u drop someone off make sure they’re safely inside before you drive away.


15



This Coda is my creation. It’s what I wanted to accomplish as a parent. What you do with it is entirely up to you. I hope you never feel like you have to do the same. Make your own way. Make yourself proud. If you’re happy, I’m happy.


21



“I need help. But I don’t know what I need help with. Could you ask me a few questions and help me figure it out?” Keep this one in your back pocket.


5, 7, 11, 13, 16, 19, 21



A simple trick to calm your nerves: Name 5 things you can hear right now.


5-15



1

Anything you wear on purpose is fashion.


14, 19, 21



When they turn 18 they should have a will, a financial power of attorney and a medical PoA.


17,18



Imagine hearing the apology you need to hear. Often times that really helps, even if the person never actually says it. It makes it easier to forgive and move on.


18



Pick an issue. One single issue, i.e. the economy or the environment or coverage of a certain event such as a crime or a sport season. Read at least one newspaper article on that topic every day. NYT, London Times etc.


14, 15, 16, 21



Read the instructions. Don't ask for help if you've been given instructions but haven't yet read them. RTFM. (Read the flippin' manual.)


14-21



Best song for a good cry: “And so It Goes” by Billy Joel.


15, 21



Don’t offer them advice until you ask questions: What does a good outcome here look like for you? How much energy are you willing to put into this? Do you feel like you’re being asked to sacrifice a part of who you are if you do this? Is the fear you’re feeling maybe just that initial reaction we all get when something is new and unfamiliar? Stuff like that. Mostly they just need help understanding themselves and encouragement to stay true to themselves.


4, 7, 12, 15, 18, 21



When you’re struggling with something, you don’t know how you feel or why something is happening... Give it to the Lord. Entrust him with it. He will mold it and soften it so you’re able to process it.


19



Walk up the Washington monument. No elevator!


11



Never say anything behind someone's back that you wouldn't say to their face.


11, 14, 18



"Love is nothing more and nothing less than relentlessly showing up for your people." - Glennon Doyle


18-21



Teach how to carve a turkey.


15



Go easy on the cologne, perfume, scented lotions, etc. People shouldn't be able to smell your perfume a mile away, only up close. Also, it's generally not appropriate for work.


17



Go to movie Star Wars


12



Save where you can. Spend when you have to. Splurge every once in a while.


15, 21



Just do the next right thing. One step at a time, you’ll get there.


13, 18, 21



Don’t use a bad word when you can use a good word.


10



Teach them about the law and how it applies to them: Here's what happens if you hurt someone, steal, drive drunk, use or sell drugs, sexting, etc.


12



YouTube Hank Green “Study Hall.” It talks about navigating the mess of college and career choices, like choosing a major (and what a major is!) What interests align with which majors, etc.


12, 15, 16



Read Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson together.


17



I once asked my mom if my grandmother (her mother in law) was rich. Her reply: “No, but she likes to think she is.” I think she meant my grandmother spent money like she had plenty of it when she really did not. Can relate. I hope you do better!


14, 21