There’s one thing I’ve noticed that makes the difference between an adult and someone who is over 18: That person’s proclivity for reading. Books make you smarter, yes but they also make you kinder, funnier, more empathetic and more tolerant of opposing viewpoints. Travel has a similar effect but is a lot more expensive! If you want to be a genuine grownup, read (or listen to) everything you can get your hands on.


10, 14, 16, 20



Paying extra for organic isn’t always worth it but I ALWAYS buy organic apples. They taste better and don’t have the pesticides, etc.


18



Start saving money early. Save as much as you can. There are plenty of things worth spending your money on, but be mindful about your money - Don’t p*ss it away.


15, 20



White privilege doesn’t mean that your life hasn’t been hard, it means that your skin color isn’t one of the things making it harder.


14



Sometimes, no matter how great a thing is it can’t make up for what it’s not.


14, 19, 21



Slow down and normalize making out without it leading to anything more. Physical intimacy can mean lots of things that aren’t sex: kissing should feel safe, personal and playful. ALWAYS be respectful and never assume that just because your sweetie is into it that they want to go farther. If your goal is to “score” do it by yourself.


15, 21



The next world is perfect and permanent. This world is neither, so save yourself the stress of trying to make things perfect (house, job, body, relationships, bank account, etc.) Embrace the impermanence by cherishing the good times. Know that the bad times won’t last. Remember that you are loved very much, and that God will shower you with the grace you need to handle whatever this imperfect life throws at you.


21



Toddler not interested in food? Hand them a random kitchen gadget to play with while you’re feeding them dinner, they’ll eat more if distracted.


1,2



Actions have consequences- so does inaction. Avoiding a problem or decision is not an effective solution.


18



Watch TED talk on Rejection Therapy: “What I learned from 100 days of rejection | Jia Jiang”


15, 21



When they’re upset just ask what they need: space, distraction, or talk about it.


12



This! Your energy is beautiful and precious. Don’t waste it on people who are $@!#% bent on negativity. https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRxcJWem/


16



Whatever you choose to do, do it well and there will always be a demand for you. (Quoting Adam Schiff from his book “Midnight in Washington.”


16



You are always responsible for how you act, no matter what you’re feeling. (Or whether you’re drunk or in any way impaired.) Hammer this point home for the next 10 years!


13



Universal Studios


12-18



Golf lessons. Grampa loved golf, if he were here he would have taught you himself.


9



Keep going. Push yourself. The struggle makes it all the more worth it.


17, 21



When you bring home a new baby, make sure your older kid(s) hear you talking to it the way you talk to them: “I’m sorry Baby I can’t hold you right now, I’m going to play with Sibling.” It makes it a lot easier to tell Siblings that you can’t give them attention right now because Baby needs you. Less resentment, etc.


2, 3, 4, 5



Read “Attack of the Black Rectangles” by Amy Sarid King.


12



Like me, you turn to food for comfort. That’s okay to a point, but it won’t help. That hole you’re trying to fill will just get deeper. So if you can’t or won’t stop eating for comfort please consider this suggestion: Do something creative first. Sing, write, paint, run, lift, act, improv, whatever. The hole will be so much more shallow when you go to try and fill it with food. Hopefully, eventually you’ll get to the point of staying in “creative mode” to feel better.


10, 12, 13, 16, 21



Thomas Jefferson’s Ten Rules of Conduct. This makes a good exercise for penmanship or for writing “lines” as instructional punishment.


11



Brambly Hedge series by Jill Barklem.


2-5



Look into Rustic Pathways to see the world and do some good.


15



We all have dark thoughts and moods every once in a while. That’s part of being human. But any sustained ideation or inclination to hurt yourself or someone else is a red flag and needs mental health intervention.


12, 14, 17, 21



It's very important to me, the idea of the scale of good and bad, of beauty and suffering. I think we should do everything we can to increase the beauty and to take away from the suffering. We have to work hard to tip the scale in the direction of good.


1Infant-14



Mackinac Island trip


10



Quoting Sarah Bessel: “One of the best things Jen Hatmaker has taught me about raising big kids: if they get on the roller coaster of Big Emotions, my main first job is to stay on the platform. I am NOT to get in the car and ride up


12



Attend a school board meeting or some sort of government meeting. Attend / participate.


13



Be a safe place. Teach them to be a safe place too.


12



If you ever borrow someone’s car, return it with a full tank of gas.


20