The more you want, the less you get.


14, 16, 21



Major life events such as the birth of a baby, graduations, new job, (lost job) are a big deal. Make a fuss. Take an interest in loved ones’ experiences. Acknowledge their feelings. Express a sincere interest in others (young and old) will profoundly affect your relationships.


15, 19



Read up about the National Parks. Pick one to plan a trip to.


9



“Your warmth can be an invitation that unlocks their own.” - Elizabeth Lesser. I love this quote because it’s so true that when you’re kind and genuine, people respond. They take it as a signal that you are a safe place for them to express themselves, which will enable a true connection to be formed. You both win when that happens.


15, 21



Consider the source. When you get information, look at where or who it’s coming from. Do you trust them? Are they an expert? When someone criticizes you. Do they know why they’re talking about and are they taking chances themselves. Pay no attention to hecklers.


15



Before a play date or sleepover ask the parent “Are there any unlocked guns in the house?”


6-9



It’s your civic duty to vote (including midterms!) Be an informed voter.


16, 18



I’ve been trying to retrain my brain to deal with anxiety in healthy ways. It’s SO hard when these connections were fused decades ago. BUT I REFUSE to be a party to YOU laying down those same unhealthy neurological pathways. I’ll teach you better ways to handle stress and anxiety. Exercise/ Music/ warm showers/ creativity/ rest/ journaling/ meditation... WHATEVER! I promise to Somehow teach you what I never learned.


5-10, 14



Two years after Trump lost re-election I still struggle to understand how anyone could support him, to say nothing of work for him. But then it came to me: being close to power is intoxicating. It makes people feel important and accepted, which are things very few of us ever, though we all long to, feel. I recalled how very much I longed for this type of acceptance for most of my career. I *loved* being included in meetings with the CEO. I loved having a access and influence. It was so validating, so satisfying! Looking back I’m embarrassed, even ashamed about how much of a fan girl I was. (Don’t get me wrong! Ambition and drive are good things! But I was more concerned with being perceived as important than I was in substance or actual effort.) All this to say, be mindful of the lure of being in the “it” group. We all crave the acceptance and approval. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a seat at the table, just pay more attention to be table than the seat. If you had a chance to work in the Whitehouse for Donald Trump, would you? Would you trade your values for power?


15, 21



Universal Studios


12-18



Ask your emotions “why” three times.


14, 16, 21



“Write hard and clear about what hurts.” - Ernest Hemingway


12, 15, 21



Name five women who contributed to our country’s history.


8, 13, 16



Family trip to a NASCAR race..


6



Maria Shriver has lots of great parenting advice. One of my favorites is (paraphrased): “Children need what you need: to be seen, to be talked to, to feel safe and loved.”


Infant



Time is of the essence


16



Just because you miss your ex that doesn’t mean you want them back. Of course you miss someone you had a deep connection with.


17, 21



“But what is grief if not love preserving?” - Unknown


18



Whatever you choose to do, do it well and there will always be a demand for you. (Quoting Adam Schiff from his book “Midnight in Washington.”


16



Win some, learn some.


14, 17, 21



Most people are good. Some are bad. Many are crazy.


15, 21



Biographies: Be inspired.


12



Change is scary. But scary doesn’t equal bad. I don’t know what it’s going to look like but I know you will figure it out. You’re going to be okay no matter what curveballs you’re faced with. Stay calm. Be kind and respectful to everyone and every thing, including (especially) yourself. xoxo


5, 10, 15, 20, 21



Bring Christmas cookies to local fire station and police station. (Annually)


7-14



You have yet to meet so many parts of yourself. All kinds of different people, places and experiences will draw those parts out of you.


15, 18, 21



Life is difficult...Focus on the joy.


16, 20



Practice making yourself do something you don’t feel like doing. Practice and it gets easier


10, 12, 15, 18, 21



Doing something you don’t want to do just to look cool is the opposite of cool.


9, 11, 14, 15, 19, 21



The $@!#% never ends. Dealing with the $@!#% IS your job. If you think you’ll ever reach a “post-$@!#%” stage in your life, you’re wrong.


14, 19



This Coda is my creation. It’s what I wanted to accomplish as a parent. What you do with it is entirely up to you. I hope you never feel like you have to do the same. Make your own way. Make yourself proud. If you’re happy, I’m happy.


21