In marriage there will be times or occasions when one of you will be “pilot” and the other “copilot” (depending on skills, abilities, circumstances, etc.) Both pilot and copilot are good! But never be a “passenger” in a relationship.


21



Watch Abby Wambach's 2018 Barnard commencement address together.


16



Listen to The Moth (storytelling) together.


15



Check out from the library or Amazon: “My First Money Book: A Guide for Parents and Children to Saving, Spending, Sharing, and Investing Your Money” by Reggie Nelson


8



Don’t feed the thing you’re fighting.


13, 17, 21



“But what is grief if not love preserving?” - Unknown


18



Never enter into (or stay in) a relationship with someone based on their “potential.” It’s a recipe for misery, resentment and frustration.


19



Learn to recognize invitations from the Lord - invitations to look at beauty. Invitations for compassion, for learning and for love.


9-15



Harm springs from excess.


12



Practice having difficult conversations. There’s no way to get around being on the giving or receiving end of unpleasant news such as breakups, firings, news of a loved one’s passing, etc. You need to get good at having hard conversations, or else you’ll end up in jobs and relationships you don’t want to be in.


15, 21



“Beer muscles” is when guys gain a sense of indestructibility, an exaggerated sense of their own strength. Fights and aggressive behavior ensues.


15



It’s when the sh*t hits the fan that real discipleship begins.


21



"Discipline is helping a child solve a problem. Punishment is making a child suffer for having a problem. To raise problem solvers, focus on solutions, not retribution.”- L.R KNost


2-15



Try not to confuse excess with quality. It’s okay not to have the biggest house on the block. It’s okay not to drive the fanciest car.


21



Enroll in cooking lessons. We'll need to find you someone who knows how to cook. (Don't tell mom I said that.)


14



“If the pain was deep you will have to let it go many times.” Yung Pueblo from book Lighter


15, 18, 21



Plan trip to Bush Gardens late September


5



Resist the urge to give unsolicited advice. Wait…this entire thing is unsolicited advice!


15



Don’t be afraid of work.


12, 17, 21



Be willing to say “I don’t know” if you don’t know! Don’t just make stuff up.


15, 20



I’m going to start you in Mathnasium or some other STEM (math) activity. Not because I want u to score high on your SAT but because I want You to be confident in your math skills you will use it every day and it will come in handy no matter what you choose to do for a living


7



The biggest mistake I *never* made was in 1997. I was working two jobs: nurse and waitress. I was having an extremely difficult time in the nursing job. I struggled to understand it and made mistakes despite working long hard hours. My waitressing job was hard too, but it was fun! A great group of fun young people, we hung out and bonded. I was crushing hard on the bartender too! I decided to quit my nursing job and wait tables full time. (I had TWO college degrees at the time.) Not sure exactly what made me change my mind, but I didn’t do it. Instead I quit the restaurant (probably because I was heartbroken over the bartender!) and enrolled in graduate school. Kept my nursing job. There I met lifelong friends, and went on to be nursing director. That waitressing job was my escape hatch. The best I could imagine for myself was waiting tables full time! What a small SMALL world view. While I am VERY glad I didn’t quit the nursing job I hated, because that’s how I got you, I wish I had imagined a bigger, better option than waiting tables full time if I felt that I needed to quit nursing. Peace Corps, move to the city, SOMETHING brave and bold and exciting. All this is to say - widen your vision. There’s so much more to life than what is directly in front of you. Be bold. Be brave. I love you.


17, 20



Letting go isn’t something active. Rather, it’s something you stop doing. Stop hoping. Stop fooling yourself. Stop wishing things were different.


17, 21



Be the kind of man that people feel safe around. Safe from harm, safe from judgment and safe from ridicule.


17



Check into Brilliant.org for STEM activities.


12



There’s an art to speaking harsh truths in a delicate way. There’s an art in describing a ridiculous person or thing without being insulting. Mark Twain was a master at it. Read up!


17, 21



There is so much darkness in the world - keep pushing back against it every way you can. Be a force for good.


14, 16, 21



The problems with pornography: When you’re young and have yet formed a basis for healthy and mutually satisfying sexual relationships, your brain doesn’t know what to do with that input. It becomes part of your brain, imprinted as normal or the way sex should be. When you’re older, the brain can see something that’s outrageous and recognize it and discard it. Also it’s incredibly misogynistic, will do horrible things for the way you see women. While some is fairly harmless and totally normal, even too much of a good thing is a bad thing. Too much of a bad thing is disastrous.


11, 12, 13, 14, 15



Never any point in arguing with drunks or fools.


17



Make a deal: flying lessons IF he takes dancing lessons. A man has got to know how to dance! In fact, tack on some other prerequisites like good grades and responsible behavior


16