You should feel safe with friends. They shouldn’t try to get you hurt or in trouble. Anyone who makes you feel unsafe is not your friend.


8-15



Fashion philosophy: never mind the trends. Ask yourself “how do I want to be perceived today? How do I want to feel?” Go from there.


12, 17. 19



One of the most important things I can teach you is to help you learn how to deal with big feelings without resorting to destructive behavior or violence. Everyone on the planet will experience loss, disappointment, grief, heartbreak, betrayal, etc. Tools to deal with these feelings: counseling, journaling, art, music, exercise, meditation, breathing exercises, yoga, being in nature, talking with friends, joining a support group, movement like dancing or skating, singing, acting, anthropomorphic dialogue with your emotions, naming your emotions and describe how they physically feel in your body. Asking the emotion what it needs you to know.


1Infant-20



Stop before you descend too far into the pain. Let yourself be loved. Rest. Eat. Shower. Breath. Sweat. Sing.


10, 11, 12, 14, 16, 19, 21



Look into "OK Go" videos.


7-14



The whole point of Pride is a recognition and celebration of the fact that you don’t have to be anything other than your truest nature (as defined by you!) No matter gay, straight, bi, trans, etc. Be proud of who you are.) xo


10, 14, 18, 21



Anyone who asks you to violate your values doesn’t deserve your allegiance.


16, 21



When you feel like you’re on fire with anger or fear, if you can’t shake it, put that fire to good use.


14



open your own business


20



May you make yourself proud every day. That’s my wish for you. (I will always be proud of you.) xoxo


9, 14, 21



Staying calm is 90% of the battle. Practice.


13, 15, 18, 21



“It’s alright to be yourself. There ARE people in this world who will love you.” -Fred Rogers


12, 14, 17, 21



NEVER sit while someone near you is working.


14-21



Anything you deny or fight will fight you back harder. Don’t fight the fear, pain, disappointment, etc. Let it in and let it teach you what it wants to teach you. Then you can part as friends.


15, 21



Difficult conversations are…difficult. If you have to deliver bad news, don’t beat around the bush but prepare them for what’s coming rather than just blurting it out. “I have some news that’s going to be difficult to hear…” Or “Is this a good time to talk?” Those are just a couple examples, but many more are available. Look it up or ask people who routinely have to give bad news.


20



Read "You Can’t buy a Dinosaur with a Dime" by Harriet Ziefert. Teaches kids about earning money through work, making choices, even paying taxes!


9



Read Big Magic by Liz Gilbert. Re-read every 5-10 years.


19, 21



You have to learn how to not start, and how to stop abruptly when you’re turned on. Doesn’t matter how much you want it, nothing happens unless she gives enthusiastic consent, and nothing continues if she were to withdraw consent for any reason or at any time. Look up the making tea analogy for consent. It’s perfect.


14, 15, 16, 17, 18



Get at least 2, preferably 3 estimates on any major expenses for home or car.


21



“Whenever you think that some situation or some person is ruining your life, it’s actually you who are ruining your life. It’s such a simple idea. Feeling like a victim is a perfectly disastrous way to make go through life.” — Charlie Munger


13, 15, 19, 21



The Golden Rule is wrong. At least when it comes to relationships and especially when it comes to parenting. Instead of treating someone how you’d want to be treated, treat them how THEY’D want to be treated.__ Learn what THEY need to feel safe and loved, how THEY express big feelings like fear, anxiety, anger and frustration.___ Instead of assuming the friend/partner/child /coworker wants to be treated how you’d want to be, take the time to learn about them. Then when someone you love is in distress you can respond to them in the way they need. ___(Lesson learned from reading The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Great book. A little preachy but push past that. )


1, 13, 19



Unkind people are unhappy people.


8, 18



Purchase book "All Are Welcome" by Alexandra Penfold to prep him for kindergarten.


5



If you want people to believe you, trust you and be able to depend on you, then you must have integrity. Integrity means that you tell the truth, don’t deceive or cheat, you keep your word and you pitch in to help with little things and big things without having to be asked. Who are the people you know who have integrity? Do you want to be a man of integrity?


13, 17



Put him in charge of figuring the tip out when we’re out at a restaurant. Calculate 15% or 20% etc. Also emphasize that the difference between a good tip and a great tip is usually just a few dollars but it makes a difference to the recipient. Be generous with people who are in service professions.


12-14



Every time your heart breaks, your vision gets better. You appreciate beauty and recognize and respond to others’ pain better.


12, 15, 18, 21



You can love someone and still not tolerate their abuse. Protect your peace and safety.


17, 21



Talk to people like they belong and are valued exactly as they are in that moment.


12-14, 21



“The Greatest Generation” by Tom Brokaw Listen to audio or read together


14



I forget who said it but I love it: “I don’t know what I think until I write it down.” Paper and pen. Write. Keep it or burn it whatever you like. Journal or make a list or bullet points or narrative…whatever. Just write.


15, 21