Remember this: “It’s not always about you.” It’s a natural tendency to take things personally- someone’s bad mood, or not paying attention to you, or not calling, etc. But most times when we see people acting shy/aloof/crabby or mean - it has nothing to do with us and everything to do with them, and what they’re experiencing. Try (a) not to take things personally and (b) to have compassion for people, who are all going through something.
12, 16, 20
Read poem “Wild Geese” by Mary Oliver. (“...You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves...”)
17
Look for examples of people who have dealt with loss without giving in to bitterness. What do they have in common?
17
People pretend to enjoy all sorts of things. Don’t assume you’re the only one who thinks drinking to the point of getting sick is just stupid.
15
Honestly I think all religions are at least fifty percent bull pucky and none of them come close to reflecting the loving nature of God, which is broader and deeper than our little brains can grasp. So pick your poison. Whatever religion feels like home, like a place that can provide context for you to explore the goodness and beauty at the heart of the universe…that’s the religion for you. And if no religion fits the bill, that’s fine too. Either way, always remember and keep coming back to the knowledge that you are so very loved.
16, 21
Show up. Be there when people are counting on you. Be at the celebrations and the funerals. Be at work and school when you're supposed to be.
12-19
A Morning Offering by _____ (Excerpt) ...May my mind come alive today To the invisible geography That invites me to new frontiers, To break the dead shell of yesterdays, To risk being disturbed and changed. May I have the courage today To live the life that I would love, To postpone my dream no longer But do at last what I came here for And waste my heart on fear no more.“
19
You gotta play with them. Down on the floor, at the park, in the water, in the snow. Connect through play, it will be the foundation of your relationship.
1-4
Work Hard. Do your best. Keep your word. Never get too big for your britches. Trust in God. Have no fear
15, 21
Of all the things I worry about, addiction is very high on the list. Begin talks (age appropriate) about addiction.
7
When they confide in you or tell you something that makes them so vulnerable u don’t know what to tell them, just sat “I’m so glad you told me.” (You’re not alone, I heard you, I’m here and will stay with you until it’s resolved.) re-ticket yearly.
9
Book “Rainbow Relatives” is a great resource to be able to kindly, accurately and sensitively answer their questions about LGBTQ families.
6
The Golden Rule is wrong. At least when it comes to relationships and especially when it comes to parenting. Instead of treating someone how you’d want to be treated, treat them how THEY’D want to be treated.__ Learn what THEY need to feel safe and loved, how THEY express big feelings like fear, anxiety, anger and frustration.___ Instead of assuming the friend/partner/child /coworker wants to be treated how you’d want to be, take the time to learn about them. Then when someone you love is in distress you can respond to them in the way they need. ___(Lesson learned from reading The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Great book. A little preachy but push past that. )
1, 13, 19
Your great-great grandmother was a seamstress at Marshall Fields. Her husband was a firefighter in Chicago. The immigrated from County Wexford in Ireland.
10
It’s okay to take a beat, a pause before you answer: “Hold on, let me think about how this is going to work...” I’ve seen a lot of mistakes or loss of confidence in an employee because they just blurted out a guess or starting off in the wrong direction only to have to go back- just because the plan hadn’t been thought through. It only takes a minute.
15, 18, 20
So what you can. If you’re overwhelmed or depressed, and I can’t get it together to brush your teeth, rinse with water. Tomorrow, rinse with mouthwash. In a few days, brush without bothering to put toothpaste on the brush. This is a pretty extreme example but u get the picture. If you can’t do a load of laundry, just pick up the clothes into a pile. Tomorrow separate the pile. If you can’t face doing a full leg day at the gym, do one rep. Just do what you can, and eventually you will get up to speed. Give yourself grace, my love.
15, 17, 21
When something is upsetting you...Name it...Take a deep breath...Imagine holding it gently in your hands. (This is a reminder to use this visualization myself and to teach it to you. I want to give you as many tools as I can to help you learn to cope with negative emotions in a healthy way.)
9-11
The more books you read, the better. Carve out time without screens and read every day.
8, 10, 12, 14, 16, 21
My favorite Chinese food order is chicken Kung Pao, shrimp fried rice and beef lo mein. That way we all get a little of each meat.
16
Watch awards shows (Oscars, Grammy's, Tony's, ESPY's, Image Awards and CNN Heroes awards.) Be a part of your times, appreciate others' accomplishments. Be inspired.
8-18