Soap and water go a long way towards fixing many problems.


12, 19



Focus on being interesting (and genuinely interested) rather than focusing on being popular.


11, 13, 17, 21



Begin planning trip for 10th bday. Maybe to Atlantis in Bahamas or someplace he’d be excited about._____Get him involved in planning and saving.


8



The more you move, the happier you are.


10, 11, 13, 15, 18, 21



People will speak or act in all kinds of unpleasant ways. Stay calm and kind.


14-21



“ A vocation is where our anger and our joy meet.” -Sarah Bessey


16



Talk to people like they belong and are valued exactly as they are in that moment.


12-14, 21



“Bullies are scared people hiding inside scary people.” -Michelle Obama


8-12



Let's all go on a "complaining diet." See how long we can go without a complaint for a weekend. Repeat often.


9-15



Go as a family to local high school musical productions.


9-13



1

I get it. It’s exhausting when they’re little. But you will never be so needed or so loved as you are during these years.


2, 3, 4



Every time your heart breaks, your vision gets better. You appreciate beauty and recognize and respond to others’ pain better.


12, 15, 18, 21



Plan trip to Outside Lands music festival at Golden Gate Park


17



People always say “Be yourself.” That’s good advice but really what does it mean? I think it’s easier to explain what it DOESN’T mean: When you’re being yourself you’re not pretending to be interested in something or someone you’re not. You’re not doing something just to please someone else (or just to tick them off.) You’re not wearing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. You’re not pretending to have fun when you’re not having fun. You’re not trying to impress anyone. You’re not trying to fade into the background. You’re not trying to change anything about yourself or someone else. I think that’s a good start. What does “being yourself” mean to you?


11-14, 18, 21



Work on developing a “no shortcuts” mode. Looking for a faster/easier/bare-minimum option isn’t always bad. People get paid a lot of money for creating efficacy. But there are times when that approach is wrong. Anything you want to grow from (relationships, school, work, wealth, health, knowledge, etc.) those things deserve your full effort, focus and dedication. Play. Definitely play! But don’t f*ck around.


12, 14, 15, 18, 19, 21



Be thankful for opportunities to be of service. It means God is trusting you to help.


8-14



Girls: does he put in the effort even when it’s inconvenient or uncomfortable for him?


16, 20, 21



Recruit the kids to help with cleaning the house. All hands on deck "round-ups" are fun and efficient: Round up sippy cups, trash, dirty laundry, give-aways, etc. Time them for maximum enthusiasm: "60 second trash round up...Go!" See who can collect the most trash in 60 seconds.


4



Read Harry Potter series to him / with him.


9-10



On grief: CS Lewis said somewhere that it isn’t just that his friend died, it’s that the part of him that only his friend could bring out would never be brought out again.


17, 21



People are insecure. Be mindful of fragile egos (we all have them to a degree.) Avoid implying that people aren't doing a good job.


20



Consider what you value. Act accordingly.


10, 14, 17, 20



Kids who are a little different (maybe they make funny sounds, look different, or aren’t able to talk or walk very well, etc.) Remember that just because they might be different, they are never “less than.” Their feelings matter as much as yours. They like to play as much as you. Their families love them as much as your family loves you. Include them as much as you can. You could end up making a great friend!


6



“ It was my high school drama teacher who made sure I knew there was space for me in this world. Her kind words had a tremendous impact on my life. If you don’t know where to begin, start with “I see you. I love you. I’m so happy you’re here.”   -Chasten Buttigieg


12



Procrastinating is an Olympic sport for those of us with ADHD. Talk about ways to get “unstuck.” 1. Change your body - move to a different room or take a walk. 2. If you can’t move your body, move your focus. 3. Ask your brain how it’s trying to help you by paralyzing you. 4. Take deep breaths and let go of the shame and self-doubt you feel for getting stuck.


8, 9, 10, 14, 21



When you’re at home in your own skin you invite people to be at home in theirs too.


14, 20



Look into Rustic Pathways to see the world and do some good.


15



The moment you lose your cool, you’ve lost.


12,13, 14, 15, 16, 21



Jazz in the Garden free outdoor concerts at National Gallery of Art. Fridays during summer months.


7



Reinforce this at every opportunity: “You matter.” Kids respond to this message deeply, whether it comes from a positive source (parents/teacher/coach) or people who are only trying to exploit them.


2-18