Try not to confuse excess with quality. It’s okay not to have the biggest house on the block. It’s okay not to drive the fanciest car.
21
“Forget about sex. Just play first.” Forget about making a move and just have fun. Dance, listen to music together, go somewhere exciting, look at something beautiful, read to each other, play sports, let yourself be seen and encourage them to do the same. Communicate in a hundred ways: talk/send texts/ post on social media, pass notes, whatever. Sex isn’t the door to intimacy, feeling safe to be yourself around your partner is.
15-20
“Just because you think it doesn’t mean it’s true. Your brain’s a little $@!#% and likes to lie to you.” -Elyse Myers
15, 21
Talk about how to be a good houseguest: Always bring something (food, wine, gift, etc) Make your bed, keep area clean. Enthusiastically accept your host’s hospitality but don’t make extra work for them. Contribute and pitch in where u can. Send a thank you note - or at very least, an email!
18
Throw leftovers and some cut up veggies in an omelette/ frittata. Cuts down on food waste and saves money.
17
Some people think the world owes THEM. They have a backwards. We are servants. How can we best serve?
12-21
“People are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Pain comes when we try to put them in the wrong category.” - random therapist I never met.
16
Surprise! You’re not perfect. No one is. Do your best, but don’t expect perfection from yourself or any other human, young or old. Have compassion...We’re all in this together and we need each other to be kind and encouraging.
17, 21
Talking to people you disagree with is sometimes difficult. But it doesn’t have to be. Enter every conversion assuming you have something to learn.
14, 18, 21
Never do two illegal things at the same time. Don’t break the law while breaking the law.
16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21
Most times there isn’t a “right decision.” You make a decision and then it’s up to you to *make* it right.
12, 16, 19, 21
Even when something’s not the right fit (job interview, blind date, audition, etc.) you’re still making connections. You never know what could happen, so stay engaged and be yourself. Maybe that blind date who’s not into you has a friend who might be. Maybe that casting director will call you for a totally different role. Chin up! Ride the positive vibes you put out into the universe.
12,18, 21
You will never be good enough for the wrong person. This truth is profound and one I wish I learned a lot earlier in my life. Stop tripping over yourself to please someone who doesn’t get you.
21
Don’t waste your time with anyone who doesn’t love you for exactly who you are. Move on, because there is someone out there who will!
17
There is so much darkness in the world - keep pushing back against it every way you can. Be a force for good.
14, 16, 21
Super good-looking people often don’t develop good people skills because they’ve been able to get by on their looks. Listen! Beauty fades. Get curious about people who don’t necessarily catch your eye right away.
16, 19, 21
Struggle is just part of the process. It doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong or you’re dumb. It’s a key element of how we all learn.
11
If you feel like you can’t get your act together, that you’re less mature than some others your age, I have the recipe for being a grown up: Read, travel, help those in need. READ everything you can get your hands on: books, audio books, newspapers, etc. Travel to places that are different than your experience. Keep a lookout for people (or animals, or groups or causes, etc) who are struggling. HELP those in need.
12, 14, 16, 19, 21
When you’re older, remember that stuff like video games, alcohol, junk food, gambling, porn, and a whole host of other vices can turn on you, and become an addiction that wrecks your health, relationships or even your life. You don’t have to give up all this stuff, but keep them to a minimum. How often and how much is a big difference. It’s the difference between meeting a friend for a beer or two and walking into work hungover most days. Remember: You decide- How often and how much.
13, 16, 19
Conflict resolution tip: Are we talking about how we got here, or how we get out of here? Because those are two entirely different conversations.
14, 16, 20