“Success is liking who you are, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” - Maya Angelou
13, 15, 21
Some days it feels like your world is falling apart, but what's really happening is that it's falling into place. Make good choices. Be kind. Be brave. Trust.
15, 21
You don’t have to go to college, but whether you do or not, I implore you to read. If you’re like me a slow reader, pace yourself but keep at it. Read bestsellers and classics. Fiction, biography, history, art, every damn thing. A big regret of my life is that I never tried to love reading as a kid. Do yourself a favor and carve out time to read every day. Even if’s it’s just a few pages. Your mind will sharpen and your heart will be full and your soul will be fed.
10, 12, 14, 15, 16, 21
Set up a dog agility course in the backyard. Use household items or toys, etc and lots of dog treats for training.
8
I hope you find a partner with who are your most authentic self, and who you love for who they genuinely are.
15, 21
My Nana, born around 1913, used to decry “some people think the world owes them a living.” A hundred years later I agree. Nothing worse than entitlement.
13, 15, 21
If you’re unable to help someone, help someone else. Throw some goodness or beauty in the bucket of humanity.
16
Painful or unpleasant emotions can’t grow if you stay in the present. (Easy way to do this is to focus on your breathing.)
10, 13, 16, 21
I like to say a Hail Mary just to join the chorus, to add my voice to the millions who are praying in that moment. The world has plenty of people thinking or doing horrible things, we need to add to the good, add to the beauty as much as possible at every turn. Saying a quick prayer is sometimes all I can muster.
9-19
“If you want to be beautiful, make beautiful choices.” - (Greek philosopher whose name I can’t remember.)
10, 13, 17, 21
It’s okay if you don’t know how (or don’t want) to move on. Start with something easier…just don’t go back.
16
It’s not a project, it’s a practice. (Health, fitness, keeping up with current events, prayer or meditation, housework, reading, etc.)
16
Be mindful of the patterns we’re falling into as a family. Teach them to be mindful of their patterns too.
6, 8, 12, 18
Have dinner guests sign the under side of the dining room table. Let the kids’ friends sign too - or have their own version of a guestbook - the inside of a cabinet or the basement door, etc.
5, 12-14
When someone gets upset for seemingly no reason maybe it’s not something you did or said but something you simply triggered. Try not to get defensive. Either gently remove yourself from the situation or if you want to engage with them just ask “what did I trigger?” Or “what story are you telling yourself right now?” Then, just listen.
20
Thomas Jefferson’s Ten Rules of Conduct. This makes a good exercise for penmanship or for writing “lines” as instructional punishment.
11
"The only way to work through sh*tty feelings is to walk through sh*tty feelings." - Psychologist Kristen Howe Hard lesson, but big truth.
15
Drill on stuff that will be valuable throughout their lifetime: Vocabulary, geography, addition and subtraction.
10, 12, 14, 20
Being well-read is better (and cheaper) than an advanced degree, especially for broader education. Stay curious and read!! Fiction, non-fiction, biographies ...
15, 18, 21
Be on the lookout for people who are not included and reach out. There was a girl in my 8th grade class who was pregnant. Nobody talked to her, including me. Looking back, I regret that deeply. How scared and alone she must have been. She could have used a friend. I wish I would have asked her to sit by me at lunch or talked to her about homework or something.
11-13