Learn how to quiet your demons / that voice that tells you you’re not good enough. Great resource is Dan Harris’ 2022 TED talk.
14, 19, 21
People pretend to enjoy all sorts of things. Don’t assume you’re the only one who thinks drinking to the point of getting sick is just stupid.
15
If you see a kid sitting alone, he or she might be your next best friend. Go say hi! Ask him/her to sit next to you / play on your team, etc. No need to worry about whether that person is “too cool” or “not cool enough,” they’re just a kid. Like you.
8
Hydrolaunch Water Rocket outdoor sprinkler toy. Summer fun plus a little science lesson. On Amazon
5
If you’re unable to help someone, help someone else. Throw some goodness or beauty in the bucket of humanity.
16
Try using “No doesn’t tell me your needs” when toddler / little kid disobeys. “Were you trying to be funny? Do you need a minute?”
3
Two years after Trump lost re-election I still struggle to understand how anyone could support him, to say nothing of work for him. But then it came to me: being close to power is intoxicating. It makes people feel important and accepted, which are things very few of us ever, though we all long to, feel. I recalled how very much I longed for this type of acceptance for most of my career. I *loved* being included in meetings with the CEO. I loved having a access and influence. It was so validating, so satisfying! Looking back I’m embarrassed, even ashamed about how much of a fan girl I was. (Don’t get me wrong! Ambition and drive are good things! But I was more concerned with being perceived as important than I was in substance or actual effort.) All this to say, be mindful of the lure of being in the “it” group. We all crave the acceptance and approval. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a seat at the table, just pay more attention to be table than the seat. If you had a chance to work in the Whitehouse for Donald Trump, would you? Would you trade your values for power?
15, 21
Listen to albums. Two of my favorites came out the very same month: Cowboy Carter by Beyoncé and The Tortured Poets Department by Taylor Swift.
12
Long before I was old enough to decide what I wanted my life to be about, I was set on a path of other’s choosing: marriage, kids, Catholic. I took that assignment to heart. Focused like a laser beam. Ironically, I believe that it’s because marriage and a conventional family was my prime directive that I ended up becoming roadkill on that path. My point is twofold: don’t let me or anyone else tell you what your life should look like. Maybe college isn’t for you, maybe marriage isn’t something that appeals to you, maybe it is! Keep exploring until you find a direction that fits your own values and priorities. As long as you’re paying your bills and you’re not hurting anyone including yourself, knock yourself out! Go wild! Do whatever feels right. And if you don’t know where you want to be, go where you’re needed to start with. I love you forever no matter what you do.
17, 21
People always say “Be yourself.” That’s good advice but really what does it mean? I think it’s easier to explain what it DOESN’T mean: When you’re being yourself you’re not pretending to be interested in something or someone you’re not. You’re not doing something just to please someone else (or just to tick them off.) You’re not wearing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. You’re not pretending to have fun when you’re not having fun. You’re not trying to impress anyone. You’re not trying to fade into the background. You’re not trying to change anything about yourself or someone else. I think that’s a good start. What does “being yourself” mean to you?
11-14, 18, 21
Keep a pair of nail clippers in the car - much better lighting outside. Clipping tiny fingernails is terrifying!
Infant-1
A mommy-friend of mine gave me some good advice: "Count the wins." So what if you didn't clean the house, you showered! So what if she's wearing 9 different colors - she dressed herself! Great advice. So remember, especially on the difficult days - and there will be many: Count the wins.
1
Imagine a hundred different lives. Try a dozen of them. Fail at most of them. That’s part of what your twenties are for. Challenge yourself. Challenge your assumptions. Change your perspective. Grow.
20
Look for examples of people who have dealt with loss without giving in to bitterness. What do they have in common?
17
I would rather deal with a big truth than a little lie. Whatever it is you’re going through we can solve it together but only if we’re both honest.
14
They’re gonna be pretty mean to you for a few years. Love them, if only to spite them! (ha ha)
11. 12, 13
Never take friendships for granted. Show up. Reach out. Be there when they need you. Friends are gifts; tend to those relationships with love.
15, 20
Led Zeppelin, Queen, The Who, Lynyard Skynard. Listen with headphones, listen alone, listen with friends. So many more good bands but if you start with these you’ll be well on your way.
15, 17, 21