Teach to use nail clippers


7



The opposite of addiction is connection. Genuine connection can take lots of forms.


14, 17, 19, 21



Change always brings feelings of unease. It’s easy to confuse that feeling of unease with the feeling that something must be wrong. Give yourself time to adjust before deciding if a new thing is bad..


14, 18, 21



Don’t confuse impulsive with courageous.


10, 14, 19, 21



A mommy-friend of mine gave me some good advice: "Count the wins." So what if you didn't clean the house, you showered! So what if she's wearing 9 different colors - she dressed herself! Great advice. So remember, especially on the difficult days - and there will be many: Count the wins.


1



Adopting a “do it right now” mentality has done wonders for my self-discipline. Something on the floor? Grab it right now. Thinking about cooking later? Cook right now. Laundry finished? Put them up right now. Home from a trip? Unpack right then. It’s the small things.


8, 9, 12, 17



Your mother and I would never want you to sacrifice the wellbeing of your own family for us. They should always be your priority. In the years ahead, make the choices that affirm that.


21



Sometimes, no matter how great a thing is it can’t make up for what it’s not.


14, 19, 21



Sometimes you’ll be in the wrong side of history. When you discover you’re wrong, move to the right side of history. When I first started training as a nurse it was the early 1990’s. HIV/$@!#% was pretty new. I remember telling my fellow student I would double glove and take any “over the top” precautions I wanted to. That was my fear and ignorance talking. Amazing how cozy self-righteousness makes you feel. I was wrong. Always look at the issue through the lens of humanity.


16, 21



Be on the lookout for people who are not included and reach out. There was a girl in my 8th grade class who was pregnant. Nobody talked to her, including me. Looking back, I regret that deeply. How scared and alone she must have been. She could have used a friend. I wish I would have asked her to sit by me at lunch or talked to her about homework or something.


11-13



Never follow an “I love you” with a “but...” Instead, follow it with “and...” or “that’s why...” Remember this when they’re young, teach it to them when they’re older.


10, 20



Be teachable. If you walk around thinking you know it all, your career and relationships will suffer. Consider how much you have to learn and welcome any opportunity to learn. “Teach me” instead of “I don’t know.”


16



Failed? Lift yourself up, or live there. You know the work you need to do, be it physical, mental, emotional or spiritual, etc. So do it. Do the work. The only bitterness in failure comes from not having the guts to get back up again.


12, 16, 18, 20, 21



You’re getting stronger by the day. Use your strength to protect, never to intimidate. Abusers and bullies are cowards and just the worst of men.


14, 17, 21



Learn how to release energy consciously, or you’ll end up releasing it unconsciously onto your loved ones in a negative way like yelling or arguing. Breathe, sing, shout, cry, sweat, play, bake, whatever floats your boat!


1-21



Healing doesn’t mean becoming the best version of yourself. It’s learning to love even the worst parts about yourself.


17, 21



Trust yourself.


20



Buy life insurance when you're young.


21



Never consent to a search. Ask if it’s required. If not, no search. If yes, ask for your lawyer.


17, 21



Actions have consequences- so does inaction. Avoiding a problem or decision is not an effective solution.


18



Have family game nights this winter.


9



Purpose is more important than happiness. Having a purpose (or looking for it) will save you. (And sometimes finding a *new* purpose is what you need.)


16, 21



"Tough times don't last. Tough people do."


11-14



1

Just fill ‘em with love. Every other parenting mistake or deficit can be fixed, but if a child grows up thinking it’s not loved and doesn’t have a place in this world, that is a recipe for permanent and painful damage. Not necessarily “spoil” them, but cut them slack as often as possible. Just love ‘em up.


Infant-21



Life is difficult...Focus on the joy.


16, 20



Soap and water go a long way towards fixing many problems.


12, 19



Celebration and acknowledgment: Make a big deal over little-big things and teach them the same: getting their braces off, or a cast on a broken bone, a friend gets a new car, etc. Always acknowledge the sad that someone is going through or the difficult situation. Applies to all ages.


12, 15, 19, 21



Practice having difficult conversations. There’s no way to get around being on the giving or receiving end of unpleasant news such as breakups, firings, news of a loved one’s passing, etc. You need to get good at having hard conversations, or else you’ll end up in jobs and relationships you don’t want to be in.


15, 21



Clip nails after bath. It’s easier to do when they’re softer. (Teach them the same thing when they’re old enough to do it for themselves.)


1, 10