Uplift your friends and surround yourself with friends who uplift you. In person and online. Encourage each other to let your lights shine brightly. Never bully or steal someone’s joy.


11, 15, 18, 20



Ask: What are you responsible for?


15-18



Most times there isn’t a “right decision.” You make a decision and then it’s up to you to *make* it right.


12, 16, 19, 21



Getting your drivers license will depend not only on government requirements (age, passing tests, etc.) but also maturity and trustworthiness.


14



Grandpa didn’t drink coffee, but when he was in Korea he used to drink it just so he could hold the cup and keep his hands warm. (During the Korean War be enlisted in the Marines with a bunch of his buddies right after high school.)


14, 21



Test


1-2



None of us sit high enough to look down on anybody.


11, 14, 17, 21



People don’t abandon people they love, they abandon people they’re using.


19, 21



You’re going to be okay if your relationship ends. You were a whole person before them and you’ll be a whole person after. - therapy Jeff


15, 21



Whether it’s a kid at school or a politician on tv, beware of someone who tries to blame the world’s problems on a minority or some other group of people who are different. It’s a cheap tactic to get people riled up and afraid.


13



True masculinity is vulnerable, compassionate and confident. Vulnerability takes courage. Kindness/compassion takes strength. Confidence: when you’re not really interested in what others think about you. It’s a natural byproduct of living in line with your own values and priorities.


11, 14, 16, 19, 21



Never any point in arguing with drunks or fools.


17



Don’t stay down too long.


16, 19, 21



Anyone who asks you to violate your values doesn’t deserve your allegiance.


16, 21



make your own latch board / "busy board" for plenty of hours of learning and entertainment. Find lots of great ideas on Pinterest.


1-2



Read Moth by Amber McBride. Young adult fiction in verse about grief. Twists and turns.


15



Time is of the essence


16



There are always blessings hidden within heartbreak: a friend you would never have met otherwise, an opportunity that would never have come up, an experience, an encounter, a promotion, etc. Always look for the blessings.


9, 11, 18, 21



Special occasion gift idea: put a video together of a ton of friends and family wishing them the best. Maybe it’s graduation, or wedding or big move, or for when she’s in labor, etc. Ask friends and family to film a short video of encouragement/congratulations/support/advice/etc.


17, 20, 21



All behavior is communication.


2-6



At dinner time, go around the table and share your “highs and lows” for the day. (Re-ticket up to 21)


5



To avoid miscommunication and misplaced expectations, tell your partner what you need from them. But if what you need is for them to be a different person, that’s not fair to them or to you. Let them go and set about finding the right person.


18, 20



Sometimes we outgrow relationships. It’s no one’s fault. It’s okay to move on. You’ve grown…Don’t abandon your healthier self for a relationship.


14, 16,



It’s hard to accept that the world can be so cruel and unfair, but sometimes accepting it and focusing on what part of it you CAN change is - I’ve learned - the key.


15



If you don’t know what to do ask yourself how you want to feel. Once you have a good idea of that you can find lots of paths to get you there.


16, 21



Don’t be “too” sure of yourself. There’s always a chance you could be wrong, so be open to what others are saying and consider the possibility they could be right. They very easily could know stuff you don’t. Their experience could be a lot different from yours, so just be careful of insisting you’re right.


15, 21



I did my best to guide you, but I’m sure there are many areas where my take is just not aligned with yours. That’s okay! Bunny please don’t feel any obligation to believe what I believe or take any advice, or continue any tradition mentioned in this Coda.


21



You never know what people are going through. Depression, PTSD, anxiety could look like avoidance, anger, risk-taking, promiscuity, etc. Look out for friends, coworkers and loved ones who may be in pain. You don’t need to solve their problem, just allow for the possibility that they’re going through something. Try to give them the benefit of the doubt and not write off “bad” behavior as a character flaw. Offer a non-judgmental ear.


15, 20



You tackled a big project and you're wondering if it will be a success. Ask yourself: "Was I fair?" Was I kind?" " Did I put in the work?" If the answer is yes, then rest well, no matter what the outcome. If the answer is no, go back and fix it.


17