Never open someone else's mail, or listen to their conversation, etc. If it's not your business to know, don't snoop.


14-21



“ It was my high school drama teacher who made sure I knew there was space for me in this world. Her kind words had a tremendous impact on my life. If you don’t know where to begin, start with “I see you. I love you. I’m so happy you’re here.”   -Chasten Buttigieg


12



Have them practice making trade offs based on their financial priorities. For example: Pedicure or movie?


9



Motivation: Just start. Two minutes. You don’t need to feel good to get going, you need to get going to give yourself a chance to feel good.


16



Girls: does he put in the effort even when it’s inconvenient or uncomfortable for him?


16, 20, 21



Processing an emotion means you’re not acting on it or avoiding it, you’re just with it. I like to picture it as a person and then imagine having a cup of coffee or a beer with it. Hope this helps you. xoxo


13, 16



Go to Montgomery County Fair


5-14



Third or fourth grade is usually a time of friendship drama. Hurt feelings abound. Treat yourself and them gently. Hold space for sadness and frustration. The last thing we ever want to do is to change who we are (what we like) in order to fit in. Good friends encourage you to let your light shine, they don’t mock your light, or imply you should dim it. I don’t care who’s popular, good looking etc, beware of anyone who thinks mean is cool. Gravitate towards kind, weird, talented, interesting, funny, etc. Good vibes are always better than “cool.”


8, 9, 10



You can get into big trouble (with school and the law) even by fake / joke threats of violence (bomb threat, etc.) No jokes or pranks that have anything to do with violence.


11



Approach difficult conversations looking to learn something, not to prove something.


16, 21



“Write hard and clear about what hurts.” - Ernest Hemingway


12, 15, 21



Watch Ken Burns’ “The US and the holocaust.”


17



Monty Python movies.


12-15



I promise I will never snoop. No matter how curious I am, I will not violate your privacy. But if I ever think you may be in danger I will break any promise and any law I have to in order to keep you safe.


10, 12, 14, 15



Staying calm is 90% of the battle. Practice.


13, 15, 18, 21



Look into going to college abroad. Research international universities. Spain, Netherlands, etc.


15, 16



Give them the book Starfish by Lisa Fipps.


12, 14



Numbing doesn’t work. Let it hurt, let it heal, then it lets itself go.


15,21



Remember what a teenaged sh*t you were before throwing in the towel on the next generation. We’re all self-centered, entitled and oblivious when we’re young. The goal is that they don’t *stay* that way. Be the parent they need, and they’ll listen. It may take a year or twenty, but they’ll see the light if you just pour love into them.


12-21



There IS such a thing as coming on too strong. Err on the side of leaving them wanting more.


15, 18, 21



A wise friend once told me that the kids will do as well as you do. You can’t be a good parent if you’re a miserable person. Do what you need to do to stay healthy and sane.


1, 5, 15, 21



Have the first of many talks about what consent means. Tell them (boys AND girls) that consent needs to be informed, enthusiastic, sober, ongoing and freely given. Stress that, in no uncertain terms, the absence of consent is rape. Discuss the legal, moral and emotional consequences.


12



Robin Williams was one of the best examples of how to be a good human.


15, 19, 21



Participate in an exchange program - either through hosting or traveling yourself & immerse yourself in the new culture


17



When you feel like you’re on fire with anger or fear, if you can’t shake it, put that fire to good use.


14



A person is only as good as how they treat you when they are angry with you.


17



Practice making yourself do something you don’t feel like doing. Practice and it gets easier


10, 12, 15, 18, 21



Share a few of our most embarrassing moments. Teach them it’s okay to laugh at yourself and even when you’re mortified in the moment being embarrassed isn’t fatal. (And it happens to everyone.)


11



The opposite of depression is expression.


15



Work on developing a “no shortcuts” mode. Looking for a faster/easier/bare-minimum option isn’t always bad. People get paid a lot of money for creating efficacy. But there are times when that approach is wrong. Anything you want to grow from (relationships, school, work, wealth, health, knowledge, etc.) those things deserve your full effort, focus and dedication. Play. Definitely play! But don’t f*ck around.


12, 14, 15, 18, 19, 21