We don’t snoop. Never read a correspondence (email, letter, text, note, etc.) that is not intended for your eyes, or listen in to a conversation that is not intended for your ears. The right to privacy is sacred. Always respect people’s privacy and set the expectation that others do the same for you.


10



Just because I forgive you, it doesn’t mean I trust you. Trust has to be earned.


15, 18, 21



Always hold the door open for the next person.


4-14



1

Alka-Seltzer is great for a hangover or even better, take it before you go to bed after partying. Disclaimer I’m talking about a few drinks. For the love of everything holy, please don’t ingest insane amounts of alcohol at a time. Buzzed is fun, drunk is stupid. And dangerous. Never drive once you’ve had a drink or weed.


18



Avoid love bombing.


15, 17, 21



When you’re at home in your own skin you invite people to be at home in theirs too.


14, 20



Your sex life should be safe, happy, healthy and consensual. It may or may include going all the way. There’s no rush, every relationship is different. You should feel safe and so should your partner. A lot will be a mystery but you should feel safe. You should be able to trust that your partner won’t intentionally hurt you, emotionally or physically. If you don’t trust your partner to keep you safe, get out.


17



90 seconds or less. No one wants to hear you talk for more than that. (In a personal setting like giving a toast.)


17, 21



Don’t be a mooch! Contribute: To your home, your relationships, your work, your community, your church, your country, the world. Think about how much you get from all these things. It’s so much more from all these things than you could ever pay back, but that doesn’t mean you don’t try. Dig in and contribute wherever you can. Never free-load. That’s not who we are. Be brave and contribute your talent, treasure or whatever you can. Duty and compassion both demand it.


11-18



Be thankful for opportunities to be of service. It means God is trusting you to help.


8-14



If you’re ever in a situation where you’re worried you might need people to believe you in the future, take contemporaneous notes. Write or record what happened, how you responded. Focus on the facts but don’t ignore your thoughts or feelings, include them in your notes. Date and sign it. Keep it safe.


14, 17, 19, 21



“It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to grieve. Because you can also live your life, and love your life, and be happy too.” Excellent advice from 9/11 survivor.


12, 15, 19



Read “Lighter” by Yung Pueblo. Read it every year.


17, 19, 21



Stay fit. Try to increase fitness every year in some way: Strength, flexibility, endurance, or a specific sport or practice. Never take your body for granted.


14, 20



The only thing that matters is love. When we live with love - for God, for others and ourselves, that is what makes life worth living.


16



Behind every behavior is a need.


2, 3, 4, 13, 14



Don’t bring a complaint without offering a solution.


17, 19, 21



What’s the Mark Twain quote about it’s not what you don’t know that gets you into trouble it’s what you know for sure that just ain’t true.


13, 21



Beautiful girls don’t exist for your pleasure. They’re not there for you. They, like you, exist to find out what it is to be alive in their body in this lifetime and to learn what makes them feel most like themself. They’re here, like you, to grow into themselves, to enjoying being alive, to marvel in creation with all its beauty and tragedy, injustices, banality and thrills. No one, friend or foe is an object for your experience


14, 16, 19, 21



Soothe a newborn: Swaddle , shushing noise, swing, side/stomach position, suck on a binkie. Read The Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp (or watch the video.) It' a life-saver.


Infant



Avoid the tendency to obsess over someone. It’s not romantic, it’s self-destructive. You’re worth more than that.


13, 15, 17, 19, 21



We all have dark thoughts and moods every once in a while. That’s part of being human. But any sustained ideation or inclination to hurt yourself or someone else is a red flag and needs mental health intervention.


12, 14, 17, 21



Wintergreen snow sledding trip.


6



Rent kayaks.


14-16



Make a gift of Marcus Aurelius' Meditations.


15



Writing is re-writing


15, 18



Educate yourself. You can't solve a problem if you don't understand it.


14-21



Read Moth by Amber McBride. Young adult fiction in verse about grief. Twists and turns.


15



Watch movie Sky Walk (2019) it’s about a school paper.


14, 18



Life isn’t a straight line, it’s so much more complex than that! Good things, bad things, boring or interesting things are all always happening. And always changing. So are you. And that’s good.


17, 21