Here’s the thing: some whacky $@!#% is about to go down. The next few years will be interesting, awesome and awful all at once. We will rely on kind and respectful communication, have as much fun as we can, forgive often, learn to let go and trust, and learn to be trustworthy. If necessary we will seek the advice of experts and the counsel of loved ones. Shifts can happen fast, for the better or worse. It seems like the end of the world but it’s not. You’re stronger and braver than you know.
11, 12, 13
You can be angry. But you can’t drive while angry or talk to a child or work, or do anything dangerous when you’re angry.
15, 20
“Natural” deodorant doesn’t work. Go with trusted brands here. There are times when it’s fine not to look your best, but stinky is never okay.
13, 18
Read Thanks for the Feedback by Heen and Stone. Crucial for ADHD and rejection sensitivity. Wish I had it when I was about to launch into my career!
15, 19, 21
Practice a neutral expression: Interested but not excited. A “poker face” is a good skill to know and will come in handy a lot!
13, 16, 18, 21
“It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to grieve. Because you can also live your life, and love your life, and be happy too.” Excellent advice from 9/11 survivor.
12, 15, 19
“Pick a problem - any problem,and do something about it. Because to somebody who is hurting, ‘something’ is everything.” -Oprah Winfrey
12-16
“God is gentle and loving. He desires you to have a deep sense of safety in His love.” - paraphrasing Henri Nouwen
16
Feelings will run high to low. Most days you'll be middle of the road but some days are really high and some will be devastatingly low. I wish I could change that, save you from the really low days, but they're part of life. Know this: They don't last. I've been there too. Everyone has (or will) question if it's even worth going on. It is worth it. Keep on going, do the best you can. It gets better. SO better. Pull yourself out of it if you can, over days, weeks or months. Bad seasons will pass. Although bad “seasons” are normal, clinical depression is a sickness, a hopelessness that you can't pull yourself out of. It's no more possible to snap out of depression than it is to heal your own broken leg. If you're feeling hopeless. If you start having thoughts of hurting yourself or someone else, that's illness. Medicine, therapy, other medical treatments treat and cure it. There is no shame in asking for help. People can DIE of this because they're ashamed to get help. It's like dying of a tooth ache because you're afraid of the dentist- such a waste. If you ever need help please tell me, or tell another adult you trust. Your life is worth fighting for.
15, 18, 21
Meditation isn’t about a quiet mind, it’s about training a distracted mind to remain in the present. Focus on your breathing for one minute (set a timer.) Every time your thoughts wonder, gently bring your focus back to your breath. You may have to do this 10, 20, 30 or more times during those 60 seconds…but eventually you’ll get better. When you do, increase to two minutes, then five, all the way up to 30 minutes or even an hour.
16
Happiness: Someone (or some creature) to love, something to do and something to hope for. Don’t get too caught up in the rat race, money doesn’t mean you’ve arrived.
20
Celebration and acknowledgment: Make a big deal over little-big things and teach them the same: getting their braces off, or a cast on a broken bone, a friend gets a new car, etc. Always acknowledge the sad that someone is going through or the difficult situation. Applies to all ages.
12, 15, 19, 21
“Whenever you think that some situation or some person is ruining your life, it’s actually you who are ruining your life. It’s such a simple idea. Feeling like a victim is a perfectly disastrous way to make go through life.” — Charlie Munger
13, 15, 19, 21
No matter how late you are, don’t speed or drive unsafely. It’s not worth someone’s life or limbs.
18-18, 21
Set up a 529 plan. Virginia has a great plan if you don't want to do too much research https://www.savingforcollege.com/
birth-age 3
You think you’re smart now but just wait. Your brain is just getting warmed up. Feed it: books, travel, music, mushrooms.
14, 17, 21
"The idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that is wrong with the world." - Paul Farmer
15, 21
Set up a 529 plan. Virginia has a great plan if you don't want to do too much research https://www.savingforcollege.com/
birth-age 3
Spend time with people you admire, in person and biographies, documentaries, novels and movies.
14-17, 21