Sometimes you don’t know what to do, can’t figure out what’s the right direction for you. That’s okay. Try thinking about what you *don’t* want to do. (See John Cusack career plans speech in 1989 movie “Say Anything.”


11, 16, 19, 21



“You can miss a person every day and still be glad that they’re no longer in your life.” — Oprah Winfrey


19



“Whenever you think that some situation or some person is ruining your life, it’s actually you who are ruining your life. It’s such a simple idea. Feeling like a victim is a perfectly disastrous way to make go through life.” — Charlie Munger


13, 15, 19, 21



If you’re anything like the rest of your family you will have a lot of opinions -and that’s OK! Just remember a couple of things: First: you have a right to your opinion but you do not have a right to your own facts. facts matter. seek the truth even if i it means you are proven wrong. And second, with regard to opinions ...it’s better to not express them so much if you can help it! You may be the first in the family to get this concept and put it into practice!


13-15



Put him in charge of figuring the tip out when we’re out at a restaurant. Calculate 15% or 20% etc. Also emphasize that the difference between a good tip and a great tip is usually just a few dollars but it makes a difference to the recipient. Be generous with people who are in service professions.


12-14



What do you think about the word “refugee?” Let’s talk about what it means. Personally, I don’t understand all the complexities of immigration policy, but I figure anyone who escapes violence and walks hundreds of miles with kids in tow, trying to get to safety and gain an opportunity for a better life for their family can live next-door to me anytime.


13



Talk about how choices become habits. Habits can become addictions. Describe how pathways are literally dug into the brain and it's very hard to change them once those paths are made.


13-16



“Your life unfolds in proportion to your courage.” -Danielle Le Port


15, 18



“If you want to be holy, be kind”. -Frederick Buechner


14, 19, 21



Set up a dog agility course in the backyard. Use household items or toys, etc and lots of dog treats for training.


8



When they’re upset just ask what they need: space, distraction, or talk about it.


12



To paraphrase Ted Lasso, it’s the people who think they’ve got it all figured out who delight in judging people and events. It’s better to be open minded, ask questions. Be curious, not judgmental.


15, 21



Never give unsolicited advice. Instead ask “How can I best support you?”


14, 20



“Human beings are linked, not ranked.” - Gloria Steinem (f*ck the patriarchy)


15



Pool safety- never touch equipment and always have a grownup present when swimming.


3-8



Watch the local news together.


12



Go to College results. Org to look at graduation rates. How likely is a rising freshman at that school to stick it out and graduate in 4 years? HUGE variation, it should factor in their decision.


16



When the poop hits the fan, that's when real discipleship begins.


15-18



To my boys: Personally I believe the boy / man should pay when out on a date. Always be prepared to pay - but sometimes a girl / woman wants to pay or split the check. Don’t push back on that. Make sure she knows it would be your pleasure to pay because you want to show her a good time and spoil her, but that you understand that paying a check doesn’t put her in your debt. Instead, your motto should be “If you’re comfortable, I’m comfortable.” And that goes for a lot of categories including sex/ physical contact. And to my girls: Always be prepared to pay, offer to pay often. It’s a sad fact that some men feel they’re owed something if they spring for dinner. On a date you are never obligated to do or say anything you don’t want to. Never.


16, 21



Help him write a letter to someone in power if he has a question or concern about something he sees going on in the world.


7-11



Discuss difference between foods that taste good vs. foods that make you FEEL good.


12-14



Fire drills. Practice what to do, where to go if the house is on fire. Have an escape plan.


5-10



Action is the antithesis of anxiety.


18



Teach him what to do and how to act if he gets pulled over.


16



Go to movie Star Wars


12



Just put your best foot forward and get on with it!


14, 17, 21



“You belong in every room you enter.” - Shonda Rhymes


6-21



Conflict resolution tip: Are we talking about how we got here, or how we get out of here? Because those are two entirely different conversations.


14, 16, 20



We struggle so much when we don’t know ourselves. Are you a thinker (creative, big picture) or a doer (meticulous, task-oriented.) Both are great by the way.


16, 21



Listen to Celebrate Calm podcasts for help dealing with defiance.


4, 9, 15