I’m parenting as in most things, staying calm is more than half the battle. Practice keeping your cool in all situations. No yelling blaming freaking out or meanness. Calm rules the day.


1, 21



Dress for the job you want, not the one you have. Unless you're a lifeguard. ;)


16, 21



Just show up. That’s all we can really control. Show up, (don’t run) and take it from there. You got this.


21



A simple trick to calm your nerves: Name 5 things you can hear right now.


5-15



When you’re tired, the next best thing to sleep is a shower.


16



I did my best to guide you, but I’m sure there are many areas where my take is just not aligned with yours. That’s okay! Bunny please don’t feel any obligation to believe what I believe or take any advice, or continue any tradition mentioned in this Coda.


21



“Pick a problem - any problem,and do something about it. Because to somebody who is hurting, ‘something’ is everything.” -Oprah Winfrey


12-16



My mom used to proudly describe herself as an “Irish Catholic Democrat.” I think my dad voted for Reagan once but other than that we’re all pretty liberal.


18



It’s hard to want something and not have it. Kids have to learn how to sit with that.


3-17



Don’t feed the thing you’re fighting.


13, 17, 21



You are always responsible for how you act, no matter what you’re feeling. (Or whether you’re drunk or in any way impaired.) Hammer this point home for the next 10 years!


13



The "work" in "relationships take work" should be like the "work" it takes to go to the beach. “Sure, you gotta pack food, beverages, drive there, park, and set up... But you get to the beach


18, 21



Check in on your friends. Even the ones that seem fine.


14-21



Help them develop a positive attitude. http://www.momentsaday.com/10-activities-help-young-children-develop-a-positive-attitude/


5



Shirts and pants don't go into the laundry inside-out. From now on, they will be responsible for turning their laundry right-side-out. Will help instill that laundry is not done by the laundry fairy.


4



Be the kind of man that people feel safe around. Safe from harm, safe from judgment and safe from ridicule.


17



Harm springs from excess.


12



Failures are part of life. Feel free to fail. But behave with honor. Never do anything to tarnish your good name.


14, 18



Read or listen to The Mountain is You by Brianna Wiest.


17, 21



Make a gift of Marcus Aurelius' Meditations.


15



“Tell me something you want to be when you grow up.”


5, 8



Yoga for kids classes or YouTube


5-8



If they’re not doing anything dangerous, illegal or immoral, let them be. Give them space and independence. (Just first define dangerous/ illegal/ immoral. Then remind them that you are here and would love to hear about anything they want to share.)


14



Practice not putting stuff off. If it takes 10 seconds or less do it now. Then move up to 30 seconds or less. Keep going up to ~3 minutes. Good example is putting away laundry or emptying dishwasher, etc.


15



Your mother and I would never want you to sacrifice the wellbeing of your own family for us. They should always be your priority. In the years ahead, make the choices that affirm that.


21



“Your life unfolds in proportion to your courage.” -Danielle Le Port


15, 18



Check out the website Brightly for timely and age-appropriate book recommendations. All sorts of subjects and themes.


5-12



Check your ego. Often.


17, 21



Great article about teaching young kids how to do better than “I’m sorry” when they’ve caused another child pain. https://offspring.lifehacker.com/what-to-say-to-little-kids-instead-of-say-sorry-1819288365?fbclid=IwAR0bKgo60isKj6a5D2s3cs1leWCIyK9TXTBK62upV9U1S_bR0otfJndwg_k


3, 8



“Don’t chase your dreams


14, 17, 20, 21