Healing doesn’t mean becoming the best version of yourself. It’s learning to love even the worst parts about yourself.


17, 21



Sometimes I think the best way to take care of them is to teach them to take care of others: Littler kids, sick or disabled, those who’ve been left out.


5-7, 1Infant-12



Sad but important fact: You’ll never be enough for some people. Never. -Chasten Buttigieg


18



Yoga for kids classes or YouTube


5-8



Let’s talk about how we can bless people - with what we have and by how we act.


7



Remember to $@!#% the switch when you’re stuck: If you’re all up in your head, sad or anxious, do something physical. If you’re down with a physical problem, dive into your mind for diversion and healing.


11,14, 17, 21



Teach car maintenance: Adding air to tires, checking oil, etc.


13-17



Stop before you descend too far into the pain. Let yourself be loved. Rest. Eat. Shower. Breath. Sweat. Sing.


10, 11, 12, 14, 16, 19, 21



If you’re ever in a situation where you’re worried you might need people to believe you in the future, take contemporaneous notes. Write or record what happened, how you responded. Focus on the facts but don’t ignore your thoughts or feelings, include them in your notes. Date and sign it. Keep it safe.


14, 17, 19, 21



Don’t ask for anything until you’ve done what has been asked of you.


5



Model being a considerate person.


2-18



“The beginning parts are always the scariest.” -Jackson Daily (kid reporter on Today Show.)


10, 12, 16



Default to "nice guy." Meaning it should require something significant for you NOT to be nice. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Cut them (and yourself) some slack. Life is hard. We're all in this together.


12



It’s hard to accept that the world can be so cruel and unfair, but sometimes accepting it and focusing on what part of it you CAN change is - I’ve learned - the key.


15



If you don’t have anything intelligent to say on a subject it’s fine (encouraged) to say nothing. Listen. Learn.


20



Feelings will run high to low. Most days you'll be middle of the road but some days are really high and some will be devastatingly low. I wish I could change that, save you from the really low days, but they're part of life. Know this: They don't last. I've been there too. Everyone has (or will) question if it's even worth going on. It is worth it. Keep on going, do the best you can. It gets better. SO better. Pull yourself out of it if you can, over days, weeks or months. Bad seasons will pass. Although bad “seasons” are normal, clinical depression is a sickness, a hopelessness that you can't pull yourself out of. It's no more possible to snap out of depression than it is to heal your own broken leg. If you're feeling hopeless. If you start having thoughts of hurting yourself or someone else, that's illness. Medicine, therapy, other medical treatments treat and cure it. There is no shame in asking for help. People can DIE of this because they're ashamed to get help. It's like dying of a tooth ache because you're afraid of the dentist- such a waste. If you ever need help please tell me, or tell another adult you trust. Your life is worth fighting for.


15, 18, 21



My Nana, born around 1913, used to decry “some people think the world owes them a living.” A hundred years later I agree. Nothing worse than entitlement.


13, 15, 21



“I don’t know what I think until I write about it.” - Joan Didion


15



At dinner time, go around the table and share your “highs and lows” for the day. (Re-ticket up to 21)


5



The mind replays what the heart wants to heal.


16



Getting your drivers license will depend not only on government requirements (age, passing tests, etc.) but also maturity and trustworthiness.


14



Imagine a hundred different lives. Try a dozen of them. Fail at most of them. That’s part of what your twenties are for. Challenge yourself. Challenge your assumptions. Change your perspective. Grow.


20



On days when you wake up tired, sick or just not ready to deal with the morning, just get up and take a shower. Turn up the music. Rally!


17-21



Jam is an incredible resource of fun learning activities and projects in a safe online environment. Ages 6-16.


6



Practice a neutral expression: Interested but not excited. A “poker face” is a good skill to know and will come in handy a lot!


13, 16, 18, 21



Sometimes you have to disconnect the “doing” from the “feeling.” Not so much that you’re disconnected from your feelings but that you’re able to tell them to get in the backseat while you take the wheel. It’s a skill. Practice makes you better at it.


12, 16, 19, 21



Change always brings feelings of unease. It’s easy to confuse that feeling of unease with the feeling that something must be wrong. Give yourself time to adjust before deciding if a new thing is bad..


14, 18, 21



Have dinner guests sign the under side of the dining room table. Let the kids’ friends sign too - or have their own version of a guestbook - the inside of a cabinet or the basement door, etc.


5, 12-14



Come and go in peace.


12, 15, 21