“Pirate Rules” is a temporary suspension of the usual rules. It means pretty much anything goes for this moment so we can all stay sane. ——-Loosen the rules on snacks, bedtime, screen time, etc. in special circumstances.


1-5



Talk about how choices become habits. Habits can become addictions. Describe how pathways are literally dug into the brain and it's very hard to change them once those paths are made.


13-16



2

To avoid miscommunication and misplaced expectations, tell your partner what you need from them. But if what you need is for them to be a different person, that’s not fair to them or to you. Let them go and set about finding the right person.


18, 20



Spend time with people you admire, in person and biographies, documentaries, novels and movies.


14-17, 21



Happiness, beauty, health, fun, success: define for yourself what each of those things mean. People and society are gonna try and convince you to share their definitions…don’t let them.


13, 15, 17, 21



If you see a kid sitting alone, he or she might be your next best friend. Go say hi! Ask him/her to sit next to you / play on your team, etc. No need to worry about whether that person is “too cool” or “not cool enough,” they’re just a kid. Like you.


8



Remember that your tend to act like/ think like the people you hang around most. Choose your friends (and your spouse) wisely.


10, 14, 21



Pay attention to what people do and what they say. Try to look past their appearance. This is especially true for women, who are almost always judged primarily on the way they look.


12, 15, 19



Stay away from anything or anyone that denies or disparages a person’s humanity. (Or a group’s humanity.)


12-21



Adjust your expectations but never lower your standards.


12, 15, 18, 21



Emphasize "First things first." Distraction is always a challenge. Redirect focus to first things first.


5



Venting is crucial but not always appropriate. Make sure you’re in the right place (no chance whatsoever of being overheard), the right time (take care of business first) and that the person you’re unloading on has the mental bandwidth to listen to you vent your emotions. Avoid interrupting if they’re busy, or not in a good headspace. You’ll know this because you asked.


14, 17, 21



Start “home economics” school with them. Laundry, cleaning, cooking, how to change a diaper, comfort a baby, soothe a toddler, what's involved in caring for pets, budgeting for food, keeping track of maintenance schedules for humans, pets, cars and machines. Engage with guests, be a good host, etc. Know when and how to tell someone to GTFO of the house (racist or misogynistic speech, etc.) Every kid needs to learn the art and science of home management. Look for and point out examples in books and movies of good home science skills.


5, 8, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 21



When I say I want you to be happy I’m not talking about pleasure and ease. I mean purpose and pride you in yourself, meaningful work, and a solid group of friends and family who loves you for who you are, so you don’t ever have to pretend to be something you’re not.


21



Sometimes grief looks a lot like anger. Are you upset about something you lost or had to let go of?


15, 21



Just remember sometimes you’re there for a good time but not a long time. Not every relationship (job, journey, experience) is meant to be permanent.)


15, 19, 21



Great reminders for how to deal with belligerent kids. https://mailchi.mp/ahaparenting/8-things-you-can-do-when-your-child-is-belligerent


4



Summer concerts at Wolftrap- get good seats so they can really get a sense of the experience.


13-16



Recruit the kids to help with cleaning the house. All hands on deck "round-ups" are fun and efficient: Round up sippy cups, trash, dirty laundry, give-aways, etc. Time them for maximum enthusiasm: "60 second trash round up...Go!" See who can collect the most trash in 60 seconds.


4



YouTube Randy Pauch The Last Lecture. Watch together.


14



Teach them about the law and how it applies to them: Here's what happens if you hurt someone, steal, drive drunk, use or sell drugs, sexting, etc.


12



Build a backyard adventure camp


8



Try not to say insulting or hurtful things, but NEVER write them. (Texts, notes, emails, etc.)


11



Enroll in cooking lessons. We'll need to find you someone who knows how to cook. (Don't tell mom I said that.)


14



If your car is overheating turn on the heat full blast. It draws heat off the engine.


16



Monty Python movies.


12-15



Give him a copy of The Secret Lives of Great Composers by Elizabeth Lunday.


14