Just fill ‘em with love. Every other parenting mistake or deficit can be fixed, but if a child grows up thinking it’s not loved and doesn’t have a place in this world, that is a recipe for permanent and painful damage. Not necessarily “spoil” them, but cut them slack as often as possible. Just love ‘em up.
Infant-21
My theory is that it’s pointless to chase love. You’ll never catch it. Focus on DOING what you love. When you’re being who you’re meant to be, you’ll find the one you’re meant to love. That way, love chases YOU! And love always wins. ❤️
16
Be present. Don’t turn every conversation into a lesson. They stay in their rooms so much because they feel safe there. They’re tired and stressed out and managing a lot of change.
13
Imagine hearing the apology you need to hear. Often times that really helps, even if the person never actually says it. It makes it easier to forgive and move on.
18
Music, arts, words or dancing can have a profound effect on the spirit. Let's find something that gives you chills!
11-14
Imagine a hundred different lives. Try a dozen of them. Fail at most of them. That’s part of what your twenties are for. Challenge yourself. Challenge your assumptions. Change your perspective. Grow.
20
Check out from the library or Amazon: “My First Money Book: A Guide for Parents and Children to Saving, Spending, Sharing, and Investing Your Money” by Reggie Nelson
8
The thing about hiding is you’re always worried you’ll be see, caught, or found out. It takes a toll. I hope you never hide from who you are, or feel like you have to fake it to be liked. I will always accept you as you are, and I hope to raise you so you accept yourself (and others) as well.
14,17
It's natural to avoid change. Try to learn to accept change, embrace it if you can! Change is good. :)
15
I want to talk about when NOT to join in. Friends are great and feeling like we belong feels so good. But there are times I hope you muster the courage not to go along: Never cause anyone or anything pain in order to be liked. Don't confuse cruelty for humor. Never participate in things that may cause harm to yourself or others. Can you think of some things you want to make sure you don't go along with?
11
Having an opinion is not the same thing as having an informed opinion. If you don't know enough about a subject to speak intelligently about it, keep quiet and educate yourself.
12, 18
Institute “Family Night” a screen-free night of games and fun and togetherness. Can use these times for conversations about things you want to address / teach. Maybe make theme nights and build around a lesson so it’s fun and enjoyable. Continue through school years.
4-6
When you feel like giving up, rest. But then keep going! So many good things ahead. So many people that are meant to be in your life who you haven’t met yet.
18
Meditation isn’t about a quiet mind, it’s about training a distracted mind to remain in the present. Focus on your breathing for one minute (set a timer.) Every time your thoughts wonder, gently bring your focus back to your breath. You may have to do this 10, 20, 30 or more times during those 60 seconds…but eventually you’ll get better. When you do, increase to two minutes, then five, all the way up to 30 minutes or even an hour.
16
Quoting Sarah Bessel: “One of the best things Jen Hatmaker has taught me about raising big kids: if they get on the roller coaster of Big Emotions, my main first job is to stay on the platform. I am NOT to get in the car and ride up
12
“When it comes to consequences, don’t speak what you won’t serve.” Meaning don’t threaten any punishment you’re not willing to enforce. This is helpful in terms of teaching the child a lesson and also an important lesson in not shooting yourself in the foot. (I took away your tv one day you were home on a snow day. Bad idea. That punishment was against my own interest! I got no work done.
2
Bottom line bible quote: Psalm 37:3 “Trust in the LORD and do good.” That pretty much covers everything.
13, 21
Have them practice making trade offs based on their financial priorities. For example: Pedicure or movie?
9
Read the instructions. Don't ask for help if you've been given instructions but haven't yet read them. RTFM. (Read the flippin' manual.)
14-21
I hope you never abandon yourself to be loved or accepted by someone else. They’re not getting the real you and you’re missing out on the experience of being loved and accepted just as you are.
16,21
Jazz in the Garden free outdoor concerts at National Gallery of Art. Fridays during summer months.
7
Be discerning about your sources of information. Some red flags: Too good to be true. Get rich quick. Chosen race. Any race or group blamed for societal problems. Fear of change. Threats of real or metaphysical harm (I.e. $@!#%) or bribes with reward.
12, 14, 16. 18, 21
Family & Home
Character, Education & Self-Reliance
Sports, Health, Safety & Appearance
Arts, Literature & Self Expression
Science, Technology, Skills & General Knowledge
Fun, Adventure & Travel
Faith & Philosophy
Finances
Emotional Development & Mental Health
Nature, Animals & the Environment
Social Justice, Civics & Humanitarianism
Relationships & Career
Respect people’s boundaries / quirks. Someone who “doesn’t fly” may have fear of enclosed spaces due to anxiety or past trauma. Someone who doesn’t drink may have had a parent who was an abusive alcoholic. Don’t laugh, question or prod. If they want to talk about it, fine. Otherwise just accept their boundaries.
15, 21