Always clean from clean to dirty. Wash glassware first, greasy dishes last. Sink and tub first, then toilet. Then floor. Top-to bottom is another general rule.
13, 18
Throw leftovers and some cut up veggies in an omelette/ frittata. Cuts down on food waste and saves money.
17
Read (or listen to) The Greatest Generation by Tom Brokaw together as a family. It's broken up into small vignettes so it's easy to get through bit by bit.
15
Zero-cost method to reaching your goals (academic, career, fitness and health): Get up an hour earlier. You’ll be amazed how much you can get done and how “on top of it” you feel.
16, 18, 21
There is nothing “basic” about basic human dignity. Never treat a person as though they are put on this earth for your amusement. Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity because we’re all human beings. No matter their age, looks, status, even past wrongdoing, everyone deserves to be treated with dignity.
14
Talk about what patterns of abuse look like. Teach them to recognize red flags like love-bombing, isolating from friends and family, controlling behavior and threats of violence and/or self-harm.
14, 16, 20, 21
To avoid miscommunication and misplaced expectations, tell your partner what you need from them. But if what you need is for them to be a different person, that’s not fair to them or to you. Let them go and set about finding the right person.
18, 20
What do you think about the word “refugee?” Let’s talk about what it means. Personally, I don’t understand all the complexities of immigration policy, but I figure anyone who escapes violence and walks hundreds of miles with kids in tow, trying to get to safety and gain an opportunity for a better life for their family can live next-door to me anytime.
13
That little space between stimulus and response...that’s all the control we get. That space is ours to do with. That space is fertile ground for addiction, for faith, for peace or pain. When the sh*t hits the fan, resist the urge to run away from the pain. Trying to dull it will only make it grow deeper roots.
19
If you witness a moment of vulnerability in someone, keep it to yourself. Be respectful of people's dignity.
14-18
“The next generation never learns anything from the previous one until it’s brought home like a hammer.” - Harry Truman
13, 16, 21
Sometimes we outgrow relationships. It’s no one’s fault. It’s okay to move on. You’ve grown…Don’t abandon your healthier self for a relationship.
14, 16,
On grief: CS Lewis said somewhere that it isn’t just that his friend died, it’s that the part of him that only his friend could bring out would never be brought out again.
17, 21
Have them practice making trade offs based on their financial priorities. For example: Pedicure or movie?
9
Watch film “Radio” (2003) and talk about being brave. Teach them that doing what’s right takes courage.
8
Some people think the world owes THEM. They have a backwards. We are servants. How can we best serve?
12-21
You will come to rely on whatever you choose to help you feel better. You may even become addicted. So choose carefully. Rely on creative, positive, spirit-affirming practices to replenish yourself. Don’t fall in to the trap of alcohol/ food/gambling/smoking/sex/shopping, etc. to numb your pain or avoid dealing with difficulties. ________EVERYONE feels stress, anxiety, loss, despair, frustration and a while bunch of crappy feelings at some time or another. It’s okay to feel those things. But how you choose to DEAL with those feelings will determine a great deal in how happy your life will be.
12, 14, 16, 17, 21
Pay attention to what people do and what they say. Try to look past their appearance. This is especially true for women, who are almost always judged primarily on the way they look.
12, 15, 19
If you’re ever in a situation where you’re worried you might need people to believe you in the future, take contemporaneous notes. Write or record what happened, how you responded. Focus on the facts but don’t ignore your thoughts or feelings, include them in your notes. Date and sign it. Keep it safe.
14, 17, 19, 21
“When it comes to consequences, don’t speak what you won’t serve.” Meaning don’t threaten any punishment you’re not willing to enforce. This is helpful in terms of teaching the child a lesson and also an important lesson in not shooting yourself in the foot. (I took away your tv one day you were home on a snow day. Bad idea. That punishment was against my own interest! I got no work done.
2
Remember that your tend to act like/ think like the people you hang around most. Choose your friends (and your spouse) wisely.
10, 14, 21
Set up a 529 plan. Virginia has a great plan if you don't want to do too much research https://www.savingforcollege.com/
birth-age 3