“You don’t emerge from $@!#% empty-handed” a friend once told me. Even the worst periods of your life will bring gifts. Be thankful for those gifts, and enjoy them.


19



Have the first of many talks about what consent means. Tell them (boys AND girls) that consent needs to be informed, enthusiastic, sober, ongoing and freely given. Stress that, in no uncertain terms, the absence of consent is rape. Discuss the legal, moral and emotional consequences.


12



Something to remember on those days when the kids are making you nuts and you’re at the end of your parenting rope: “They love you no matter what. They always want to be close to you. Even when you’re screwing up, they still think you’re amazing. They want to be just like you when they grow up. You are their hero. You may be their mom, but they’re constantly reminding you of your worth.”


2



It’s okay to not understand things. Just be sure the only place your ignorance leads you is to education.


15, 19



You can’t ask someone to change who they are before you live or accept them.


12, 15, 21



Piano


21



ABC's of video game addiction: Autonomy, Belonging, Control. Try to find ways to developing these things in areas outside of gaming. Games are great, but not at the expense of everything else.


1Infant-13



Zero-cost method to reaching your goals (academic, career, fitness and health): Get up an hour earlier. You’ll be amazed how much you can get done and how “on top of it” you feel.


16, 18, 21



Go on a tour of the Kennedy Center. Free guided tours through Friends of the Kennedy Center.


10



Honesty without kindness is brutality. Kindness without honesty is manipulation. (That said, when anyone asks if that outfit makes them look fat, the answer is “you look perfect.”)


20



“The Guy in the Glass” poem by Dale Wimbrow_______ When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf,__ And the world makes you King for a day,___ Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,___ And see what that guy has to say. ____ For it isn’t your Father, or Mother, or Wife,____ Who judgement upon you must pass. The feller whose verdict counts most in your life____ Is the guy staring back from the glass. He’s the feller to please, never mind all the rest, For he’s with you clear up to the end, And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test If the guy in the glass is your friend. You may be like Jack Horner and “chisel” a plum, And think you’re a wonderful guy, But the man in the glass says you’re only a bum If you can’t look him straight in the eye. You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years, And get pats on the back as you pass, But your final reward will be heartaches and tears If you’ve cheated the guy in the glass.


15



Repeat after me: “I am beautiful I am loved I am safe I am free. I don’t need to be like them I just need to be like me.”


7, 8, 9, 13, 16



Be extra careful when you’re parking or pulling out of a driveway. It’s hard to see little kids or pets.


16



If your partner doesn’t want to commit to you, it’s not a matter of convincing them. Even if you get them to walk down the aisle that’s not the problem. It’s not that they don’t want to get married, it’s that they don’t want to BE married to you. And that is not a problem that will go away even if you manage to “get” them to commit. Walk away or spend the rest of your life pulling them along. F that.


21



We all have dark thoughts and moods every once in a while. That’s part of being human. But any sustained ideation or inclination to hurt yourself or someone else is a red flag and needs mental health intervention.


12, 14, 17, 21



When backing up a trailer, put your hand at the bottom of the steering wheel and move the steering wheel in the direction you want the trailer to go.


19



Show them a picture of a riptide and explain about swimming parallel to the shore instead of fighting it. Google Outer Banks NC green fluorescent dye in riptide.


9-15



Sometimes it’s easier to describe what a thing is *not* than to describe what it is.


14, 21



"Watch the pennies and the dollars will take care of themselves." - Ben Franklin This works with money and with other areas: Be faithful in the little things and the bigger things will take care of themselves. For example, if you don't get comfortable with telling little lies then you'll never tell big lies.


9, 13, 19



“When happy, be kind. When sad, be kind. When ever…be kind.” - Cory Booker


9, 12, 15, 19, 21



Sometimes progress is slow - Keep working. Sometimes change is swift - hang on!


16



Most people are good. Some are bad. Many are crazy.


15, 21



Depression can look a lot like a bad attitude. Try reacting to his chronic edginess with “Sounds like you’re in pain. You can come to me about anything, any time.”


15



Give books. Inscribe them. Just a line or two can turn a good book into a treasure. Great for any occasion.


17



A simple trick to calm your nerves: Name 5 things you can hear right now.


5-15



Ask them to name 2 current or historical figures that they admire and why (one man one woman).


6-18



Love then when they least deserve it because that’s when the need it the most.


3, 13, 17



Change “I need to” to “this matters because”. Instead of “I need to walk the dog” say “it matters that I walk the dog because he needs exercise and to check p-mail.” (Helps!)


8, 11, 16, 21