The opposite of addiction is connection. Genuine connection can take lots of forms.


14, 17, 19, 21



Puberty is like putting a 12 year old in the pilot seat of a fighter jet. A total sh*t show at first, then better but still erratic and dramatic until they really get a feel for the speed and the pressure, the gauges, etc. They’ll learn when to question or to trust their instincts. Tell him that he’ll fly this jet for the rest of his life and it will always be dangerous because it’s an effing jet, but he will learn how to fly it expertly. He’ll do good, have fun, accomplish missions and refuel.


12



Read Harry Potter series to him / with him.


9-10



“Pick a problem - any problem,and do something about it. Because to somebody who is hurting, ‘something’ is everything.” -Oprah Winfrey


12-16



Name a few male celebrities you would feel safe with alone in a room. Keanu Reeves, Jack Black, Barack Obama, to start us off.


11, 13, 15



Addiction is when you can’t get through the day without something. It’s not that you need to feel high, it’s that you can’t live without what gets you high. Humans are all wired to be at risk for addiction


13, 15, 18, 20



Sometimes hookups don’t go well. The vibe is off for whatever reason. Stop. It’s okay to say “actually, let’s just call it a night.” Trust your gut. Be kind but never apologize for saying no-thanks.


15, 20



Grit.


14



Institute “Family Night” a screen-free night of games and fun and togetherness. Can use these times for conversations about things you want to address / teach. Maybe make theme nights and build around a lesson so it’s fun and enjoyable. Continue through school years.


4-6



When you meet people in an intimidating situation, like a job interview, etc. An easy trick is to imagine them as they were in kindergarten. (Don't talk to them like they'r 5 year-olds! But relate to them on a human level. We're all human - filled with talents and fears and insecurities. No matter how "important" or "unimportant" our station is.


16-21



Don't say anything out loud that you wouldn't want repeated or overheard. Don't email / text, etc. anything that you wouldn't want forwarded.


11-15



1

Date all kinds but marry someone who loves you for who you are, with whom you feel most yourself. Someone who will encourage you to grow more into the person you want to be. (And be good at encouraging them to do same.) Never fear or stifle each other’s growth. Celebrate it. Support it. Encourage it.


21



Make a separate piggie bank together for money to donate. Talk about how we manage what we have thoughtfully: Save some, spend some, donate some.


5-8



Here’s the thing: some whacky $@!#% is about to go down. The next few years will be interesting, awesome and awful all at once. We will rely on kind and respectful communication, have as much fun as we can, forgive often, learn to let go and trust, and learn to be trustworthy. If necessary we will seek the advice of experts and the counsel of loved ones. Shifts can happen fast, for the better or worse. It seems like the end of the world but it’s not. You’re stronger and braver than you know.


11, 12, 13



Someone else’s success doesn’t subtract from yours. Celebrating with them and encouraging them won’t make you the loser and them the winner. We’re all in this together.


12, 15



Sometimes it’s easier to describe what a thing is *not* than to describe what it is.


14, 21



Sailing lessons.


14



“A lot” is two words. (You wouldn’t write abunch as one word.) “Its” is a pronoun like his or hers (you wouldn’t write her’s) The contraction “it’s” ONLY means “it is.” They’re / there / their


10



Prayer for Teen Years ___ Please God, let them make good choices and get through these teen years with pride and not regret. ___ When they make mistakes (‘cause we both know they will) ____help me keep things in perspective, forgive easily _____and pour love into them again and again.


13, 14



Mom’s scrambled eggs: Use fresh eggs. Scramble vigorously. Don’t add water or milk, just cook in copious amount of butter. Add salt and pepper.


12



Partnership or pride…pick one.


21



No need to over communicate. Brief, simple succinct when conveying instructions or important information. Applies across the board personal/professional etc.


14, 17, 21



Marry your hero.


21



There is so much available to you. This is good and bad. I hope you choose knowledge, beauty, laughter, etc. Guard against getting caught in a loop of destructive $@!#%: hate, drugs, gambling, porn, etc. The world is full of beauty and it’s full of gross sh*t. I hope you choose a life that seeks out beauty.


16



Anyone who asks you to violate your values doesn’t deserve your allegiance.


16, 21



When you’re struggling with something, you don’t know how you feel or why something is happening... Give it to the Lord. Entrust him with it. He will mold it and soften it so you’re able to process it.


19



Sometimes you don’t know what to do, can’t figure out what’s the right direction for you. That’s okay. Try thinking about what you *don’t* want to do. (See John Cusack career plans speech in 1989 movie “Say Anything.”


11, 16, 19, 21



Ask yourself "What kind of man do I want to be?"


14-21



Every time your heart breaks, your vision gets better. You appreciate beauty and recognize and respond to others’ pain better.


12, 15, 18, 21



Avoid the tendency to obsess over someone. It’s not romantic, it’s self-destructive. You’re worth more than that.


13, 15, 17, 19, 21