“Things are not perfect, because life is not TV and we are real people with scarred, worried hearts. But it’s amazing a lot of the time.” - Anne Lamott
14
“When you are not fed love off a silver spoon you will learn to lick it off of knives.” Lauren Eden (poet)
0, 20
“A lot” is two words. (You wouldn’t write abunch as one word.) “Its” is a pronoun like his or hers (you wouldn’t write her’s) The contraction “it’s” ONLY means “it is.” They’re / there / their
10
Never consent to a search. Ask if it’s required. If not, no search. If yes, ask for your lawyer.
17, 21
Imagine hearing the apology you need to hear. Often times that really helps, even if the person never actually says it. It makes it easier to forgive and move on.
18
Alcoholism and gambling addiction run in our family. Be very, very careful around booze and gambling.
14,16, 18, 21
When it comes to clothes and makeup, women have one dress code: whatever the f*ck they want. Hijab or bikini, it’s not women’s job to appeal to men. It’s not women’s job to keep men’s appetites subdued.
14, 17, 21
You can forgive someone without speaking to them. Or you can move on without forgiving. Closure isn’t necessary to moving on. The only thing necessary is to move. Move your body, change your perspective, go on a trip, go to a new coffee shop, just move.
16, 19, 21
Someone I admire is __________. Talk about someone you admire and why. Ask them to do the same. Do this often as you can. Reticket through age 18.
4
Imagine a hundred different lives. Try a dozen of them. Fail at most of them. That’s part of what your twenties are for. Challenge yourself. Challenge your assumptions. Change your perspective. Grow.
20
We can disagree with people and still be respectful of them. (When what they espouse is something that hurts people, that’s where you can draw the line.)
16
They are looking for your support, not your solutions. Applies to all ages.
2, 3, 4, 8, 11, 13, 16, 18, 20, 21
Start explaining wants vs. needs. Continue explaining for the next 30 years. We don’t always get what we want. That’s okay. 4 year olds can begin to understand this.
4
Kids (and people of all ages) need attention, affection and appreciation. It’s not all they need, but it’s a start!
11
If it’s the right thing, if something needs to be done… Make yourself do it. You’re never going to “feel like it.” Practice daily with things big and / or small without complaining.
9, 12, 15, 21
They’re not rejecting you, they’re just becoming who they are. Give them some space.
12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17
Honesty without kindness is brutality. Kindness without honesty is manipulation. (That said, when anyone asks if that outfit makes them look fat, the answer is “you look perfect.”)
20
No one is ever really ready to be a parent. It’s definitely on the job training! But I’ll say this: If you’re prepared to put your family’s needs before your own, you’re as ready as anyone can be.
21