Honesty without kindness is brutality. Kindness without honesty is manipulation. (That said, when anyone asks if that outfit makes them look fat, the answer is “you look perfect.”)


20



You’ll be finished with school soon. The most important thing I hope you learned is that there is still so much yet to learn.


21



Universal Studios


12-18



No one is ever really ready to be a parent. It’s definitely on the job training! But I’ll say this: If you’re prepared to put your family’s needs before your own, you’re as ready as anyone can be.


21



Anyone who asks you to violate your values doesn’t deserve your allegiance.


16, 21



Drill on stuff that will be valuable throughout their lifetime: Vocabulary, geography, addition and subtraction.


10, 12, 14, 20



Bottom line bible quote: Psalm 37:3 “Trust in the LORD and do good.” That pretty much covers everything.


13, 21



Don’t confuse impulsive with courageous.


10, 14, 19, 21



Don’t worry if they’re not listening to what you say...They watch what you do. They study it.


13



Marry for character, not just chemistry.


17, 21



If it’s the right thing, if something needs to be done… Make yourself do it. You’re never going to “feel like it.” Practice daily with things big and / or small without complaining.


9, 12, 15, 21



Your body and brain are always trying to protect you.


17



Be appreciative of people’s time. Send thank you notes after interviewing and applying for jobs, scholarships, etc. even if you don’t get picked. It’s common courtesy and it’s a good way to make a good impression for next time.


18, 20



The thing about behavior is that if you practice you get better. That goes for good behavior and bad behavior. The more you lie, cheat, etc. the better u get. Decide What kind of behavior you want to be good at and then practice practice


7



Dating advice: If they like you, you’re gonna know. If they don’t, you’re gonna be confused.”


16, 21



Hand out tulip bulbs (or some sort of bulbs) at my funeral and ask people to plant a few in their yard. But NOT daffodils. I hate daffodils. And lilies, hate ‘em.) So tulips then.


21



Glennon Doyle described a conversation about explaining to a child what "sexy" means: “I think most people are confused about what 'sexy' means. Sexy is a grown-up word to describe a person who’s confident that she is already exactly who she was made to be. A sexy woman knows herself and she likes the way she looks, thinks, and feels. She doesn’t try to change to match anybody else. “And she knows how to use her words to tell people she trusts about what’s going on inside of her. When she’s angry, she expresses her anger in healthy ways. When she’s joyful, she does the same thing. “She doesn’t hide her true self because she’s not ashamed. She knows she’s just human—exactly how God made her and that’s good enough. She’s brave enough to be honest and kind enough to accept others when they’re honest. When two people are sexy enough to be brave and kind with each other, that’s love." (The quote is longer, Google to find the whole thing. Wise words on a tough subject.)


8



To paraphrase Chris Rock, “You don’t get points for NOT beating your wife.” Meaning, you’re EXPECTED to do the right thing. So do the right thing, without any expectation of praise.


14, 18



Teach them about Oliver Cromwell’s rule: “I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible that you may be mistaken.” Leave room for your mind to be changed by new evidence or perspective.


14



Life doesn’t need to be perfect to be beautiful.


20



“Just because you think it doesn’t mean it’s true. Your brain’s a little b*^tch and likes to lie to you.” -Elyse Myers


13, 21



When dropping them off at a dorm, leave them with. Cookie sheet and cookie dough. Make cookies/make friends.


15, 17, 18, 19, 21



Songs hit so much different (better) when you read the lyrics while listening. Headphones help heighten the experience too.


12, 14, 19, 21



Stay away from anything or anyone that denies or disparages a person’s humanity. (Or a group’s humanity.)


12-21



Read (or listen to) The Greatest Generation by Tom Brokaw together as a family. It's broken up into small vignettes so it's easy to get through bit by bit.


15



Success = liking who you are, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.


14, 17, 21



Octavia Butler’s “Parable of the Sower.”


14



Institute a “leave by” time instead of a curfew. That way they won’t panic / speed if something out of their control happens to make them late. “Leave Riley’s house by 10pm.”


13



Instead of focusing on finding love, focus on DOING what you love. When you're thriving and in your element Love will find YOU. Besides, love isn't just about finding the right person it's about being the right person.


17-19



Girls: does he put in the effort even when it’s inconvenient or uncomfortable for him?


16, 20, 21