Consensual sex requires no persuasion, convincing or begging.


14, 17



If a girl is drunk she cannot consent. Don’t even think about hooking up when your partner is intoxicated. It’s immoral and illegal. No excuses. No exceptions. . Break this law and you will be (rightfully) charged with rape and you will get sent to prison.


15



Most brilliant TED talk I ever saw on living authentically. Step one: decide what you don’t give a f*ck about. Step two: don’t give a f*ck about those things. Always be kind and polite but never be sorry for not giving a $@!#% about stuff you don’t give a $@!#% about.


14, 21



We’re born full of love. Life is about choosing where you want to put it. -xo


15, 19, 21



Think about building a career. Take low-paying or no-paying jobs that will give you the experience you need to build it. It's not all about the paycheck, especially when you're young and don't have too many bills to pay.


19-21



Grandpa never wore a watch. (This was way before cell phones existed.) Still, he always knew what time it was, and he was never, ever late.


14



Practice road-rage roll playing. People are NUTS! It's hard to imagine how you'll react when someone gets aggressive with you. Let's practice staying calm when someone is shouting and in your face.


15-17



“Be brave. Be resilient. Be kind. Be grateful.” -Hillary Rodham Clinton


12



You are never too old to play in the snow.


16



I hope you become more of yourself with every passing year. I love you so.


21



You were THREE years old when you caught sight of a half-dressed beautiful woman. You didn’t have much of a vocabulary yet but when your eyes got wide and you said “BAM BAM” I knew exactly what you meant. (Woman was Jessica Biel in an Adam Sandler movie.)


14, 21



Start a yearly “review” right before school year. Raise allowance as appropriate. If they want more money, they’ll have to take on more responsibilities.


8



Dress to people will listen to you, not look at you. (This is especially true at school and work.)


15, 18, 21



Start “home economics” school with them. Laundry, cleaning, cooking, how to change a diaper, comfort a baby, soothe a toddler, what's involved in caring for pets, budgeting for food, keeping track of maintenance schedules for humans, pets, cars and machines. Engage with guests, be a good host, etc. Know when and how to tell someone to GTFO of the house (racist or misogynistic speech, etc.) Every kid needs to learn the art and science of home management. Look for and point out examples in books and movies of good home science skills.


5, 8, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 21



Go to minor league baseball games this summer. Better seats, less crowds, easier, cheaper. Great players. Kids won't know the difference.


9-15



Anyone who asks you to violate your values doesn’t deserve your allegiance.


16, 21



You don’t have to like everyone you go to school with, or work with. You don’t even have to like your family! BUT, you have to treat everyone with respect and kindness. They are worthy of that no matter what your opinion of them may be.


15, 21



Talk about the difference between not feeling comfortable and not feeling safe.


7, 11, 14, 19. 21



Stuff is gonna happen! They will make incredibly stupid choices and get into all kinds of trouble. Take a beat. Be radically merciful. THAT is what they’ll remember and that is the lesson they’ll learn.


12-21



I’m not a tattoo person but I don’t rule it out entirely. Here’s my opinion about tattoos: I’m cool with anything you would do if you were the only person on earth. Not to gain attention, acceptance or affection. Not for the approval of anyone else. No performative tattoos, okay?


16, 17, 18, 21



Hydrolaunch Water Rocket outdoor sprinkler toy. Summer fun plus a little science lesson. On Amazon


5



Have them sort change, and eventually to count it. It teaches them to gather things that are alike, it's an introduction to money and it occupies them for 15 minutes! Just make sure they're old enough to be past the point of putting coins in their mouth.


3-5



Take the family on periodic “spending fasts.” As an exercise, go a day, a weekend or a week without spending any money. Make due with what you have. Encourage participation. Tie in spending fasts with holidays, lent or in support of a cause.


7



When making decisions or having a disagreement, it’s very easy to get stuck in defense of your position because we just feel so strongly about it. Without realizing it, we can discount good alternatives and or fail to see the strengths of other people’s viewpoints. As an exercise to avoid getting caught in this trap, make a habit of listing 3 reasons why you might be wrong. Stretch to accommodate the possibility that your strongly-held belief just may be wrong.


14, 18, 21



Watch Ken Burns’ “The US and the holocaust.”


17



When disciplining remember: First acknowledge the emotion, then address the behavior.


2-4, 13, 15



1

Always know where the main water shut-off is in your house.


18



Ask”How can I be a better parent to you?” Listen.


1Infant-18



Spend time with people you admire, in person and biographies, documentaries, novels and movies.


14-17, 21



Before you quit your job - or leave your spouse, etc. consider that you may be suffering from anxiety or depression. We sometimes attribute outside things (or people) as the cause of feeling desperate for change. But sometimes it’s just that our brains are fogged with anxiety or depression. Help is life- changing.


21