Start a yearly “review” right before school year. Raise allowance as appropriate. If they want more money, they’ll have to take on more responsibilities.
8
In the words of Bear Grylls... '”Survival can be summed up in three words - never give up. That's the heart of it really. Just keep trying.”
14, 17, 21
They’re gonna be pretty mean to you for a few years. Love them, if only to spite them! (ha ha)
11. 12, 13
Teen years are a whole other ballgame. Find a community and stay up with trends and news. Check out the website Raising Teens Today.
12
A wise friend once told me "Don't dump grace down the drain." Respond to nudges: Speak up even if you're afraid, reach out to someone who's hurting, forgive someone (or yourself.) God is so good and so generous...accept his gifts.
15
Research says working with your hands is good for your mind and spirit. Even if it’s just folding laundry or doing yard work. Let’s find a hobby u might like working with your hands.
12
The biggest mistake I *never* made was in 1997. I was working two jobs: nurse and waitress. I was having an extremely difficult time in the nursing job. I struggled to understand it and made mistakes despite working long hard hours. My waitressing job was hard too, but it was fun! A great group of fun young people, we hung out and bonded. I was crushing hard on the bartender too! I decided to quit my nursing job and wait tables full time. (I had TWO college degrees at the time.) Not sure exactly what made me change my mind, but I didn’t do it. Instead I quit the restaurant (probably because I was heartbroken over the bartender!) and enrolled in graduate school. Kept my nursing job. There I met lifelong friends, and went on to be nursing director. That waitressing job was my escape hatch. The best I could imagine for myself was waiting tables full time! What a small SMALL world view. While I am VERY glad I didn’t quit the nursing job I hated, because that’s how I got you, I wish I had imagined a bigger, better option than waiting tables full time if I felt that I needed to quit nursing. Peace Corps, move to the city, SOMETHING brave and bold and exciting. All this is to say - widen your vision. There’s so much more to life than what is directly in front of you. Be bold. Be brave. I love you.
17, 20
There will be some losses or changes that completely shake you to the core. But remember that some bad experiences are like pooping your pants - Totally horrible but also kind of a relief.
19
Let’s talk about hungry kids. What can we do to help? Donate? Volunteer? Start a Little Free Pantry?
9
If you have a goal, just dive in. It's okay if you mess up or fail. Start over, get help... but start.
13, 18, 21
It's natural to avoid change. Try to learn to accept change, embrace it if you can! Change is good. :)
15
It’s okay to take a beat, a pause before you answer: “Hold on, let me think about how this is going to work...” I’ve seen a lot of mistakes or loss of confidence in an employee because they just blurted out a guess or starting off in the wrong direction only to have to go back- just because the plan hadn’t been thought through. It only takes a minute.
15, 18, 20
A useful opening line in a conversation (personal, parenting or professional) is “What should I know about ...”. It shows you understand you have something to learn, and it makes people feel valued. “What should I know about what’s going on at football practice?”
14
You don’t have to keep it together. Let the tears come. Feel the loss. The big feelings never last long, they are a storm you can weather. Then the sky is brighter afterwards. Grief is medicine when expressed, poison when suppressed.
19, 21
We all have dark thoughts and moods every once in a while. That’s part of being human. But any sustained ideation or inclination to hurt yourself or someone else is a red flag and needs mental health intervention.
12, 14, 17, 21
To my boys: Personally I believe the boy / man should pay when out on a date. Always be prepared to pay - but sometimes a girl / woman wants to pay or split the check. Don’t push back on that. Make sure she knows it would be your pleasure to pay because you want to show her a good time and spoil her, but that you understand that paying a check doesn’t put her in your debt. Instead, your motto should be “If you’re comfortable, I’m comfortable.” And that goes for a lot of categories including sex/ physical contact. And to my girls: Always be prepared to pay, offer to pay often. It’s a sad fact that some men feel they’re owed something if they spring for dinner. On a date you are never obligated to do or say anything you don’t want to. Never.
16, 21
My favorite version of myself is when I’m not worried about what others think of me. I
11, 13, 15, 17, 21
Help them develop a positive attitude. http://www.momentsaday.com/10-activities-help-young-children-develop-a-positive-attitude/
5
Get book “Talk to Me First: Everything You Need to Know to Become Your Kids'Go-To Person about Sex.” by Deborah Roffman.
7