Define success for yourself. Be wary of becoming a corporate coal miner. Why bust your $@!#% for years and in school so you can bust your $@!#% for years in a soul-sucking job? Regardless of compensation that is not success in my book. How do you define success? For me it's "Do good. Have fun. Belong to a tribe. Meaningful work with people you love.Make enough money to pay the bills and not have to worry about the basics."


17



The more you want, the less you get.


14, 16, 21



YouTube Hank Green “Study Hall.” It talks about navigating the mess of college and career choices, like choosing a major (and what a major is!) What interests align with which majors, etc.


12, 15, 16



Buy “Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids” by Kristen Jenson


8



Spend time with people you admire, in person and biographies, documentaries, novels and movies.


14-17, 21



When you feel like you’re on fire with anger or fear, if you can’t shake it, put that fire to good use.


14



Jumper cables 101


14



Practice being embarrassed. Tell embarrassing stories. Help them learn how to deal with the sensation.


9



When you meet someone for the first time try to clear your mind of any assumptions about physical appearance. Race, gender, age, handicap/disability, etc.


17, 21



Shampoo their hair. Nice luxurious shampoo. It’s a treat. In “5 Love Languages” speak, its an act of service and physical touch.


5, 7, 9, 12



People have big feelings when they realize how unjust and unfair the world can be. Totally natural and healthy. The problem starts when they channel those feelings into destructive actions and beliefs: violence, war, crime and hatred. We will be so much better off if we can learn to deal with our collective and individual pain in a way that is therapeutic and constructive. Maybe we can help each other to be creative in the face of fear, grief, pain, anxiety, anger, betrayal, injustice.


14, 16, 19, 21



It's natural to avoid change. Try to learn to accept change, embrace it if you can! Change is good. :)


15



There will be some losses or changes that completely shake you to the core. But remember that some bad experiences are like pooping your pants - Totally horrible but also kind of a relief.


19



When someone hurts us or REALLY pisses us off... We have to pray for them. It’s hard to stay mad at someone you’re praying for.


8-18



Once or twice a year my parents would clean all the walls and baseboards in the house. Every time I smell Murphy’s Oil Soap I think of that. They mostly separated work around traditional gender roles but only insofar as that’s what they liked. Mom had no desire to work in the yard, Dad didn’t like to cook (until he got a bread machine for his retirement!) They often worked together on big tasks no matter inside or outside. Teamwork! And clean walls.


21



Go to College results. Org to look at graduation rates. How likely is a rising freshman at that school to stick it out and graduate in 4 years? HUGE variation, it should factor in their decision.


16



Talk to them about how dangerous it is to buy pills online. Fentanyl is ubiquitous and lethal in small doses. Never never take a pull that wasn’t prescribed or purchased legally.


12



“Parents detect fake friends. Kids detect fake relatives and friends detect fake love.” - I forget who’s grandma said it.


14



“People are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Pain comes when we try to put them in the wrong category.” - random therapist I never met.


16



make your own latch board / "busy board" for plenty of hours of learning and entertainment. Find lots of great ideas on Pinterest.


1-2



What do you think about the word “refugee?” Let’s talk about what it means. Personally, I don’t understand all the complexities of immigration policy, but I figure anyone who escapes violence and walks hundreds of miles with kids in tow, trying to get to safety and gain an opportunity for a better life for their family can live next-door to me anytime.


13



When you bring home a new baby, make sure your older kid(s) hear you talking to it the way you talk to them: “I’m sorry Baby I can’t hold you right now, I’m going to play with Sibling.” It makes it a lot easier to tell Siblings that you can’t give them attention right now because Baby needs you. Less resentment, etc.


2, 3, 4, 5



Anger is the bodyguard of sadness.


14



You’ve been entrusted with so much. Think about how much of an honor that is, and how big a responsibility.


16, 18, 21



“There’s a hole in the side of a boat. It can’t be fixed, it’s never going away, and you can’t get a new boat. This is your boat. What u have to do is bail water out faster than it’s coming in.” -Aaron Sorkin (Newsroom season 3 episode 6.)


17, 21



Dating advice: If they like you, you’re gonna know. If they don’t, you’re gonna be confused.”


16, 21



Beware that when you’re first exposed to a new thing: a car, a college tour, house, etc. you will feel AMAZING and totally seduced by the shiny newness. Be cool. Remember that glitters is not gold. Things don’t need to be perfect and even if the house is it doesn’t mean life will be.


15, 18, 21



Alcohol is a depressant. Never drink to feel better. It will only make things hurt worse and be worse. Only drink in celebration or community. Never to numb. That sh*t is poison. Pure $@!#% juice.


18, 19, 21



Appreciate other cultures when traveling or interacting among people from different cultures. Once on a mission trip, the locals brought coffee and cookies by in the afternoons, but I never took any. I regret that lost opportunity for connection.


14, 18, 21