Forget perfection. Nothing is perfect. No relationship, job, house, or day is perfect. Let go of expectations, be open to the mess.
18
Sometimes good people aren’t a good match. It’s better for both of you if you’re honest with yourself and with them.
17, 21
My biggest mistake was thinking that my life had to follow a singular path: college, marriage, kids, stay at home mom. I never imagined any other path: career, travel. I never questioned my assumptions. Never doubted that my way was the only path to happiness. It wouldn’t have occurred to my parents to teach me anything else, to encourage me to imagine a hundred different choices. But I’d like to encourage you. Take your talents, interests, passion, and potential out for a spin. See what sits right with you, where you feel most alive and most safe and most yourself. Feed your body, mind, heart and soul. I love you so much.
18, 21
Someone I admire is __________. Talk about someone you admire and why. Ask them to do the same. Do this often as you can. Reticket through age 18.
4
Let them borrow your calm. Little ones (grownups too) sometimes just need to freak out a bit. Stay there. Be near. Don’t judge or even help. Just be there, and stay calm. Your loving energy is all they need as they work through it themselves. Keep them safe but other than that don’t help or advise unless they ask.
2-6, 17, 21
Whether it’s a kid at school or a politician on tv, beware of someone who tries to blame the world’s problems on a minority or some other group of people who are different. It’s a cheap tactic to get people riled up and afraid.
13
Staying calm while under pressure or when you could scream in frustration - that is most of the battle. Sometimes the fact that you stayed calm qualifies as a win.
16, 21
Never consent to a search. Ask if it’s required. If not, no search. If yes, ask for your lawyer.
17, 21
Begin planning trip for 10th bday. Maybe to Atlantis in Bahamas or someplace he’d be excited about._____Get him involved in planning and saving.
8
Learning to keep your composure and maintain a respectful tone when you’re frustrated/angry/afraid/upset, etc. is a skill. PRACTICE it.
4, 5, 6, 7, 10, 12, 14, 16, 19, 21
This Coda is my creation. It’s what I wanted to accomplish as a parent. What you do with it is entirely up to you. I hope you never feel like you have to do the same. Make your own way. Make yourself proud. If you’re happy, I’m happy.
21
If you don’t have the words, borrow them. Send a song or a poem. As long as the sentiment is yours, the vowels and consonants don’t need to be.
13, 16. 21
If someone wants to leave you, let them. Don’t waste your energy trying to prove your worth to anyone.
14, 19, 21
Thomas Jefferson’s Ten Rules of Conduct. This makes a good exercise for penmanship or for writing “lines” as instructional punishment.
11
Promise me you’ll never intentionally hurt anyone (including yourself.) There’s no need to suffer in silence, I will help you or get you to someone who can help you no matter what, no matter when, no matter why.
13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18
If you have a goal, just dive in. It's okay if you mess up or fail. Start over, get help... but start.
13, 18, 21