Your great-great grandmother was a seamstress at Marshall Fields. Her husband was a firefighter in Chicago. The immigrated from County Wexford in Ireland.
10
One regret I have is how sure I was that I was in the right. Looking back I can see now that there were plenty of times when I was the a-hole. I wish I had been able to be circumspect.
14, 17, 21
Don’t confuse a broken dream for a broken future. Or a broken heart for a broken life.
13, 15, 17, 19, 21
First date going extremely well? Thinking u might score? Slow down. A woman always wants to feel like she’s worth waiting for.
20
Think about building a career. Take low-paying or no-paying jobs that will give you the experience you need to build it. It's not all about the paycheck, especially when you're young and don't have too many bills to pay.
19-21
When dropping them off at a dorm, leave them with. Cookie sheet and cookie dough. Make cookies/make friends.
15, 17, 18, 19, 21
Be ready to learn from around you. Curiosity = adventure. And when you’re curious, there’s no room for judgment.
17
Beautiful girls don’t exist for your pleasure. They’re not there for you. They, like you, exist to find out what it is to be alive in their body in this lifetime and to learn what makes them feel most like themself. They’re here, like you, to grow into themselves, to enjoying being alive, to marvel in creation with all its beauty and tragedy, injustices, banality and thrills. No one, friend or foe is an object for your experience
14, 16, 19, 21
My dad was a Marine. He enlisted at 18 with his buddies during he Korean War. He was never a "typical" Marine, always a gentle spirit and rarely spoke about his days in Korea. One carry-over was kind of a little inside joke he had with his buddies in the war: They used the expression "Semper Fi" sarcastically, in the opposite way it's meant. When they said it to each other it meant "I got mine, you're on your own. Fend for yourself." We always used to joke about it too when little things happened like there was no more milk for the cereal, "Semper Fi." Of course the irony is that my dad and his Marine buddies were the very definition of faithful when it came to the big stuff. They just liked to joke about the little stuff. Still use it jokingly that way to this day.
18
Honesty without kindness is brutality. Kindness without honesty is manipulation. (That said, when anyone asks if that outfit makes them look fat, the answer is “you look perfect.”)
20
The more books you read, the better. Carve out time without screens and read every day.
8, 10, 12, 14, 16, 21
Led Zeppelin, Queen, The Who, Lynyard Skynard. Listen with headphones, listen alone, listen with friends. So many more good bands but if you start with these you’ll be well on your way.
15, 17, 21
Appreciate other cultures when traveling or interacting among people from different cultures. Once on a mission trip, the locals brought coffee and cookies by in the afternoons, but I never took any. I regret that lost opportunity for connection.
14, 18, 21
The problems with pornography: When you’re young and have yet formed a basis for healthy and mutually satisfying sexual relationships, your brain doesn’t know what to do with that input. It becomes part of your brain, imprinted as normal or the way sex should be. When you’re older, the brain can see something that’s outrageous and recognize it and discard it. Also it’s incredibly misogynistic, will do horrible things for the way you see women. While some is fairly harmless and totally normal, even too much of a good thing is a bad thing. Too much of a bad thing is disastrous.
11, 12, 13, 14, 15
Special occasion gift idea: put a video together of a ton of friends and family wishing them the best. Maybe it’s graduation, or wedding or big move, or for when she’s in labor, etc. Ask friends and family to film a short video of encouragement/congratulations/support/advice/etc.
17, 20, 21
“Where you stand depends on where you sit.” It means your personal situation informs your stance on issues. Try to imagine how you’d vote if you were sitting at a less privileged place.
15, 21
Institute a “leave by” time instead of a curfew. That way they won’t panic / speed if something out of their control happens to make them late. “Leave Riley’s house by 10pm.”
13
Depression can look a lot like a bad attitude. Try reacting to his chronic edginess with “Sounds like you’re in pain. You can come to me about anything, any time.”
15
Learn how to quiet your demons / that voice that tells you you’re not good enough. Great resource is Dan Harris’ 2022 TED talk.
14, 19, 21
When you feel like giving up, rest. But then keep going! So many good things ahead. So many people that are meant to be in your life who you haven’t met yet.
18
If you don’t know what to do ask yourself how you want to feel. Once you have a good idea of that you can find lots of paths to get you there.
16, 21