Challenge yourself to excel at something. You’ll be astonished how good you can get by practicing consistently. There’s nothing magical about high school quarterbacks or drummers. Girls like boys who have something going on.
13, 14, 17
Use timers to motivate and structure. "Better have your jammies on and teeth brushed by the time the timer goes off!" Using a simple timer helps things not drag on and on.
2-5
“Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine.” From short story “The Egg” by Andy Weir
1Infant-21
Your job is to help your kids find themselves, not to implant an agenda of your own.
1, 5, 10, 15, 20
“When you are not fed love off a silver spoon you will learn to lick it off of knives.” Lauren Eden (poet)
0, 20
Cotillion and other social clubs abound in our area. They usually start around 5th or 6th grade. start looking into what might be a good fit. Lay the ground work that they will attend.
1Infant-12
Letting go isn’t something active. Rather, it’s something you stop doing. Stop hoping. Stop fooling yourself. Stop wishing things were different.
17, 21
Stand up (or sit up) straight in photos. Don’t slouch or lean. (You can touch or be close but don’t lean in.)
12, 14, 21
I don’t want you to do drugs. It could hurt or $@!#% you. If you get caught doing drugs it could hurt your academic record
12, 15, 18
There is nothing “basic” about basic human dignity. Never treat a person as though they are put on this earth for your amusement. Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity because we’re all human beings. No matter their age, looks, status, even past wrongdoing, everyone deserves to be treated with dignity.
14
Some books you loved when you were a toddler: Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Horton Hatches an Egg, Room on the Broom, Gruffalo.
2-4
Keep difficult conversations brief. Under ten minutes then table it so everyone can process.
13, 14, 16. 19, 21
Institute a “Wall of Fame” for accomplishments and victories, big and small. AND a “Wall of Shame” for minor infractions such as not changing the toilet paper roll, etc. We have to be willing to put ourselves on the wall of shame too - and that’s the lesson: We all make mistakes but we own up to them, fix them if possible and learn from them always. Also good fun. Start our with actual paper version but transition to a shared iCloud album to post wall of shame pics once they are old enough for phones. Maybe even continue through adulthood if they “shame” themselves!
5-15, 18, 21
Mom’s scrambled eggs: Use fresh eggs. Scramble vigorously. Don’t add water or milk, just cook in copious amount of butter. Add salt and pepper.
12
It's very important to me, the idea of the scale of good and bad, of beauty and suffering. I think we should do everything we can to increase the beauty and to take away from the suffering. We have to work hard to tip the scale in the direction of good.
1Infant-14
My mom used to say that one thing her mom taught her was no matter how poor they were they always had a clean house. She made sure of it.
18
Take advantage of all the help that’s available to you! Counselors, advisors, mentors, etc. Then pay it forward when you’re in a position to do so.
17
Surprise! You’re not perfect. No one is. Do your best, but don’t expect perfection from yourself or any other human, young or old. Have compassion...We’re all in this together and we need each other to be kind and encouraging.
17, 21
Teach them what to do if they hit an animal while driving on the road. (First find out what you’re supposed to do, THEN teach them.)
16
Remember the hymn we used to sing at bedtime when you were little? “What Does the Lord Require of You?” To seek justice. To love kindness. To walk humbly with your God. (Walk humbly means to remember God is so very good. That he loves you and is for you and wants you to talk to him, listen for him, love him, serve him.) No matter what religion you practice (or don’t practice) I hope you’ll remember that.
17
Change always brings feelings of unease. It’s easy to confuse that feeling of unease with the feeling that something must be wrong. Give yourself time to adjust before deciding if a new thing is bad..
14, 18, 21
“There’s a part of me that’s a part of you” said a painter whose name I can’t remember. I don’t think he was talking to anyone in particular, or if he meant we’re all a part of each other. Either way, it’s a beautiful thought.
20
Let it go. They’re going to make really stupid choices. I drank AND smoked in high school. We all go through it. They need to be able to trust you and rely on you. They’re navigating the world and they need a safe harbor. Be that safe harbor. It’s more important than fighting over stupid behavior. Let them know you don’t approve - sure, but fighting over stupid stuff is just going to make you both bitter.
14, 15, 16, 17