Never consent to a search. Ask if it’s required. If not, no search. If yes, ask for your lawyer.


17, 21



Offer gifts to the Lord. Maybe it's your school work, or your career, or the kid you raise, or your life in general. Wrap it up and make it a present to the Lord.


9-15



When you’re ready to grow up, (or when you have to even though you might not be ready) … Accept your responsibilities, gifts, and challenges with an unflinching honesty, with humility and dignity. Resolve to do good and to stay true to yourself. Remember the light inside you and look for the light in others. Be kind. Have fun! Know that you’re loved… So much.


15, 18, 21



Take a CPR class together. Emphasize importance of staying certified ( or making a habit of watching an online course every year on the same day, like the day after Thanksgiving or something like that.


17



Whatever your first knee-jerk reaction is, it’s not always the right one. Sleep on it.


14, 17, 21



If you have to pretend to be someone else to get or keep a relationship or job, etc. then that relationship/job is not for you!


15, 17, 21



Speaking truth to power is important but should be done carefully. Before you speak remember this: Is there anything self-serving, mean-spirited, or ego-driven? If you’re sure your feedback isn’t tinged with those things, then I’d say you can be comfortable telling it like it is. Note: when you’re young (less than 30) WAIT to be asked before you spill your guts! Always be kind, professional and consider what you want to say carefully.


21



Go for walks together as a family before or after dinner. Sometimes we go for distance, sometimes we call them "safaris" and look for as many living creatures as we can find.


4



You will come to rely on whatever you choose to help you feel better. You may even become addicted. So choose carefully. Rely on creative, positive, spirit-affirming practices to replenish yourself. Don’t fall in to the trap of alcohol/ food/gambling/smoking/sex/shopping, etc. to numb your pain or avoid dealing with difficulties. ________EVERYONE feels stress, anxiety, loss, despair, frustration and a while bunch of crappy feelings at some time or another. It’s okay to feel those things. But how you choose to DEAL with those feelings will determine a great deal in how happy your life will be.


12, 14, 16, 17, 21



“It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to grieve. Because you can also live your life, and love your life, and be happy too.” Excellent advice from 9/11 survivor.


12, 15, 19



I’ve been trying to retrain my brain to deal with anxiety in healthy ways. It’s SO hard when these connections were fused decades ago. BUT I REFUSE to be a party to YOU laying down those same unhealthy neurological pathways. I’ll teach you better ways to handle stress and anxiety. Exercise/ Music/ warm showers/ creativity/ rest/ journaling/ meditation... WHATEVER! I promise to Somehow teach you what I never learned.


5-10, 14



Start a tradition of asking them to memorize and recite a poem or famous speech for a gift for Mother’s Day, Christmas, etc. Start small with the little ones, expand as they get older.


8



Trying to avoid the real work makes the task 100 times harder. Do the work.


9, 15, 21



I would rather deal with a big truth than a little lie. Whatever it is you’re going through we can solve it together but only if we’re both honest.


14



• you can't make anyone love you • not every relationship is meant to last forever • sometimes two good people can make one bad relationship.


16-20



Awesome game we did at preschool - play I SPY. Try with objects or emotions, such as "I spy something sad" or "I spy something joyful." To help him learn empathy.


3-5



Imagine hearing the apology you need to hear. Often times that really helps, even if the person never actually says it. It makes it easier to forgive and move on.


18



Affection is to be shared, never taken.


14



To my boys: Personally I believe the boy / man should pay when out on a date. Always be prepared to pay - but sometimes a girl / woman wants to pay or split the check. Don’t push back on that. Make sure she knows it would be your pleasure to pay because you want to show her a good time and spoil her, but that you understand that paying a check doesn’t put her in your debt. Instead, your motto should be “If you’re comfortable, I’m comfortable.” And that goes for a lot of categories including sex/ physical contact. And to my girls: Always be prepared to pay, offer to pay often. It’s a sad fact that some men feel they’re owed something if they spring for dinner. On a date you are never obligated to do or say anything you don’t want to. Never.


16, 21



Stupid is as stupid does - it’s not something you “are” it’s something you do.


4, 7, 9, 11, 13, 16, 19, 21



Grandpa always said everything boils down to how you treat people. Always treating people with kindness and respect is the most important lesson he wanted to get across to us.


12-21



Find an activity / sport that they enjoy and support it. Get them outside and in the fresh air.


6-16



Replace “but” with “and.” “I love you but...” Becomes “I love you and that’s why...” etc.


9



Compete for the last meatball at Sunday dinner: Biggest burp, telling the best story, finished vegetables first, etc.


5



We can learn, we can evolve. Let yourself be moved by the spirit. More beauty, more service, more humanity, deeper (or questioned) faith, more love. Always more love. That’s the best I can hope for: that you live a life full of love.


21



Avoid bird seed or pet food near your home. It attracts mice, rats, ticks, etc. keep bird feeders that use seed a good distance from the house. Try liquid feeders near windows. Or use a feed tray or hulled seeds (little waste.)


20



Highly encourage typing/ keyboarding class.


14



I highly recommend you read The Crane Wife by CJ Houser.


15, 17, 19, 21



We don’t snoop. Never read a correspondence (email, letter, text, note, etc.) that is not intended for your eyes, or listen in to a conversation that is not intended for your ears. The right to privacy is sacred. Always respect people’s privacy and set the expectation that others do the same for you.


10



Keep stuff on hand for guests. Be ready to be a good host / hostess at any moment.


16-21



1