There are things you should not say: Never comment or ask a woman about her age or weight. Never comment on how many kids someone has (or doesn’t have.) The size, timing, composition, etc of someone else’s family is not your business to weigh in on. You never know who is struggling with loss or infertility, etc. And if someone announces they are expecting their seventh kid, the only correct response is “Congratulations” “How are you feeling?” etc. Just like you would if it was their first. Never ask someone how much weight they lost. If they’ve lost weight, just say “You look wonderful/amazing/ fantastic, etc.” And of course never comment on anyone having gained weight. Just say “You look wonderful.” And never never never ask someone how much money they earn or how much money they have, or how much they owe or paid for something, etc. People’s finances are personal, and are just not any of your business.


15, 20



Have a charity lemonade stand. Pediatric cancer research, immigrant children, etc. Lots of problems...Let them be involved in part of the solution.


7-10



Let’s talk about how we can bless people - with what we have and by how we act.


7



"Watch the pennies and the dollars will take care of themselves." - Ben Franklin This works with money and with other areas: Be faithful in the little things and the bigger things will take care of themselves. For example, if you don't get comfortable with telling little lies then you'll never tell big lies.


9, 13, 19



It’s fine, great, to be thrifty. But please don’t be cheap. Hard-earned money should neither be squandered or hoarded. Enjoy your success! But save more than you’re comfortable with. It’s like my running coach used to say: Keep going until you feel like you’re gonna poop your pants, then push yourself to do another mile. Point is, it should hurt a little.


16, 21



***Manners!! *** Etiquette is the secret sauce. Everyone appreciates being treated with respect. Etiquette is the art and science of respecting others. It’s timeless and universal. Customs change, hence the need for constant study, but respect is always the foundation. In summary: Be nice. Start with yourself. Study etiquette. It will help you in every single interaction you have, social, professional, financial, everything. Manners apply to every human, in every interaction, even on the hard days. Hence, the need for practice.


3, 5, 7, 10, 11, 15, 17, 19, 21



Start saving for retirement with your very first paycheck. Put away the MAX, you’ll never miss it. If the company doesn’t offer 401k then we’ll open a Roth IRA.


18



Throw leftovers and some cut up veggies in an omelette/ frittata. Cuts down on food waste and saves money.


17



Change is scary. But scary doesn’t equal bad. I don’t know what it’s going to look like but I know you will figure it out. You’re going to be okay no matter what curveballs you’re faced with. Stay calm. Be kind and respectful to everyone and every thing, including (especially) yourself. xoxo


5, 10, 15, 20, 21



Open a Bank Account


8-12



IMPORTANT: If you borrow money from someone pay it back as soon as possible. In full. If you borrow an item, return it in excellent condition. I’d say if you borrow a car, return it with a full tank of gas but hopefully by the time you’re driving there won’t be any combustible engines. So return it fully charged!


12, 14, 16, 21



Work on developing a “no shortcuts” mode. Looking for a faster/easier/bare-minimum option isn’t always bad. People get paid a lot of money for creating efficacy. But there are times when that approach is wrong. Anything you want to grow from (relationships, school, work, wealth, health, knowledge, etc.) those things deserve your full effort, focus and dedication. Play. Definitely play! But don’t f*ck around.


12, 14, 15, 18, 19, 21



Set up automatic payments so they are initiated on your end, so that you send out money to the bill/ company you’re paying instead of giving them access to take money out of your account.


20



Sponsor a child in a developing country. Write letters, learn about their country and their life.


8



Learning to keep your composure and maintain a respectful tone when you’re frustrated/angry/afraid/upset, etc. is a skill. PRACTICE it.


4, 5, 6, 7, 10, 12, 14, 16, 19, 21



“Pay yourself first” means save before you spend. You never know when you’ll need to tap into savings, so build it up early and heartily.


18



Try not to confuse excess with quality. It’s okay not to have the biggest house on the block. It’s okay not to drive the fanciest car.


21



There is a cost and a duty to everything we own. Rachel Maddow


16



Take the family on periodic “spending fasts.” As an exercise, go a day, a weekend or a week without spending any money. Make due with what you have. Encourage participation. Tie in spending fasts with holidays, lent or in support of a cause.


7



Micro-internships. Check out Parker Dewey for ideas.


16, 17, 18



Check out the Jesuit Volunteer Corp. A short but deeply meaningful immersion into service, faith in action, selflessness and living on a lot less than you think you need.


19



Set up a 529 plan. Virginia has a great plan if you don't want to do too much research https://www.savingforcollege.com/


birth-age 3